Do most girls like straightforward attraction?

Being told I’m pretty is a shallow complement. Better to remark about her personality or talk to her and learn what she is interested in. Actually being attracted to the person, and not just the package, is what makes girls return your interest.

Seriously. Guys who approach me and solely talk about my looks without trying to figure out what kind of person I am make it clear that they aren’t interested in getting to know me in any way except biblically.

Most women I know with good self esteem and standards don’t want to be treated like pretty pretty sperm receptacles in much the same way most men would resent a woman approaching them and making the talk solely about how wealthy he looks and how much money he probably has.

I like @gemiwing‘s personality.

“Do most girls like straightforward attraction?”

Like sniffing their butt?

Because it comes off as, like @gemiwing and @aprilsimnel put it, shallow.

Just because a guy thinks I’m physically attractive does not mean even a little bit that we would have anything at all to talk about or in common.
I think most girls would rather a guy chat with them, have some laughs, then say something like “You’re fun/interesting/etc to talk to… can I call you sometime?” The way a girl looks should be secondary.

And when a guys have randomly approached me and said something about how I look, all I think is that they a) Have nothing better to say or b) wanna get in my pants. There’s not a whole lot appealing about that.

@ChazMaz <snorts laughing>

@Likeradar Uh, we always want to get into a girl’s pants and will say anything to do so. It’s nature. Why do you think the cornbird asked this question? For tips.

@Zen_Again Girls know that. But we generally don’t like a guy who can’t even bother to pretend to get to know us for something other than our bodies.

@Likeradar LOL4RL at pretend.

At the end of the day thats what both sexes want, but there are ways in which we go about it and its not just about using the person. Its about being a real man and treating her like a real woman.

@cornbird Define “real man” and “real woman…” Those aren’t definite terms.

Compliments on looks may be shallow, but what else is the guy suppose to say? I mean, he doesn’t actually know the girl yet, so looks is all he has to go on.
If the guy knows the girl, then that’s a different story.

When i say real man i mean an honourable man and a real woman by treating her like a jewel. @Facade thats a great point. If the guy sees you all on the street or for the first time he would compliment you on your looks….

Whatever, ladies! When men tell me I’m beautiful I melt into a stammering little puddle.

I love straightforward people in all situations. So yes, ideally I prefer guys who are into me to just ask me out directly rather than dragging it out and making me wonder if they even like me.

@Facade Good point.

He could look at what she’s wearing for a clue. If she’s reading ask about the book or iPod or something of the sort. Or if you’re in a situation together- waiting on a bus for example- then bring out your witty skills and see if you can strike up a conversation about waiting on the bus. Just put something out there and see how she responds, then go from that.

@gemiwing Right. I was thinking of a situation where there was absolutely nothing else to compliment.

I think, for me, when someone says I’m beautiful I do one of two things: I either snort and wonder wtf they really want and why they think I would be swayed by them having eyes. Or, if I’m feeling confident that day, I think well yeah, and?

I swear I’m not a bitch. Most of the time. On Tuesdays. In October.

A compliment’s a compliment, if I look good I like being told:) I mean, if I guy is legit trying to get some so he tells me I look good, that’s one thing, but if a guy just tells me I look good without meaning it to go anywhere, it makes my day. Like, if a random guy stops me in the street at 10 AM and tells me I look great, we smile, then part ways, I’ll be smiling for the rest of the day.

@Facade Yeah, I agree but man that’s a hard row to hoe. So many girls are turned off by that it’d ruin the chances of scoring a home run.

@gemiwing Yea, it is a difficult for guys. I know that when guys compliment me, it’s almost annoying lol. I don’t like being hit on. I feel like they always have some sort of agenda. Plus, I’m taken, so go away lol

Nikipedia has nice hair and boobs.

So girls…hows this then? Hi how are you? You have a really sweet smile, and I really like the way your dimples come out on your cheeks. Mmm and those eyes are berries or jewels? I really would like for us to know each other can you give me you phone number? Please….?

@cornbird Works for me.

Or this….Goodmorning sweetheart. Im sorry to bother you but I just had to compliment you on your beautiful eyes. I really tried not to say anything but…damn..i just had too. Can you please tell me you name so ill remember exactly where I saw those?

@johnpowell: Marry me.

edited for clarity :)

@nikipedia Who u talkin to?

@cornbird Gag.
Sweetheart?
Are my eyes berries or jewels? They’re eyes.

We can take it as read that everyone wants to get it on, OK, but, people, surely y’all want a few minutes of getting to vibe with the person. There’s a lot of good-looking people in the world, so let’s see what else there is going on besides looks. You can pick up on that in no time with a few minutes’ conversation. Then someone can ask someone out.

At least that’s what would appeal to me.

I wonder how many ladies agree with @Facade .. i think she gave the logical answer. The first time you see someone (obviously someone you haven’t met) it’s impossible for you to comment on their personality and/or interests. The first thing you see and can appreciate is the physical hence that’s the logical starting point unless you are being introduced.

It’s not like you see a girl on the street walk by and say “Look at the brains on that one!”. Complimenting you is just an ice breaker and in many cases (shallow as it may seem) a good way to establish a rapport and begin the process of getting to know you.

Writing someone off as shallow because they compliment you on your looks qhen they first meet you is pretty shallow too… you’re not even trying to find out the person’s intentions or trying to get to know them. It goes both ways.

@cornbird That’s way over the top, and all of those are still compliments based on a woman’s looks. All my girl friends hate hearing stuff like that because it sounds like you’re coming up with a compliment beforehand and then using it on any woman you think you might have a chance with. Why not just say, “Hi, how are you doing?” and strike up a conversation? Or ask for her opinion on something.

@nikipedia :: Sure.. I will be sober this time too..

@Dr_C Perhaps it is shallow- yet it has served me well.

@All
If you really want to date a person- shouldn’t there be more than looks? Of course you can notice how attractive a person is, that’s natural and right. Yet shouldn’t there be something ‘more’ that makes you want to be with someone or even try to get to know them?

We can notice beauty but as a pick up line? It’s a bit tired and doesn’t show a lot of thought towards the person you are trying to get to know better. Hell, even saying “I would like to get to know you” works better than “Oooh GIRL! You are so HAWT!”.

I prefer to believe we start on physical appearances and then find other things that weren’t as obvious (or biologically implanted with no control from the person) and end up making the person a good choice to get to know better. Even something as small as the way they brush their hair back from their face. A funny t-shirt or bag. How they sway in time to their iPod on a crowded street.

When you see a beautiful person- acknowledge it to yourself, yet I would advise against opening your conversation with that. Plus, chances are the beautiful people have heard it a million times and you do want to stand out from the crowd don’t you?

Although I have very little experience with the whole “dating/flirting thing”, I really like it when a guy notices something about me that has little to do with my looks—perhaps my earrings, or my shoes, or a book that I am reading.

Then, it may or may not be signalling attraction, but at least it’s not “Whoa, you’re hot, let’s go out some time.” It shows that at least he’s trying.

Wakarimashita?

dickpunches all around!

@ stratman Roflao!

thank you, thank you very much, thank you baby

My son approached a girl he knew slightly at a party and told her he really liked her hair. Must have worked – two years later they’re still dating.

I caught you a delicious bass…

@stratman37 Again, you crack me up!

Compliments on looks to a girl you don’t know very well are just ice breakers and most girls take the flattery at surface value only unless they’re initially attracted to somethig about you and then they might get a sparkle in their eye, blush or give you a raised eyebrow. Compliment in polite but genuine way and hope you can get more than a thank you out of her so you’ll have something to build future conversation on, a lead in of sorts.

If a man is attracted to me then I want to know it. I want to see him walk by me or try to be near me enough to where I “know” he’s interested. If I’m also interested then I’m going to smile at him, hold his eyes a bit longer than just a quick acknowledgement, I might start looking for him to try and catch his eyes when possible. In short, I’m going to let him know his interest is reciprocal and then wait for him to talk to me and maybe pitch a date. If I don’t have reciprocal interest then I’ll say thank you for the compliment and then keep my eye contact to a minimum and my converstation very benign and kind of short to the point the man doesn’t feel any encouragement to keep up his flirting.

i do not like when this happens. if i know a guy, then i dont mind if he is straightforward. but a stranger, no. its creepy, usually pretty awkward, and never what i’m interested in.

@Silhouette – my pleasure.