@CaptainHarley Airborne…..but you used to be able buy knock offs from the Army Navy store. We need to take this to PM before…..we get…..bombed! You know…from the Mods!
My worst “Holiday” was. well, I had been divorced for two years. Taking care of everything by myself….being Mom, Dad, Housekeeper, Yardkeeper, you name it. Well, on a Satuday summer evening in July, about 8:00, I was edging the lawn when…I was suddenly disabled with severe lower abdomen pain. I had four kids in the house who I responsible for. My two at 4 and 6, and two others at 7 and 9, whom I had “adopted” out of one of my class rooms. I waited about an hour then called my “adopted” kid’s Aunt (Their Mom was dead) to come get the boys, and went to my neighbors to ask if they could watch my kids because I thought I was in an emergency situation with myself. The Aunt got the boys, the neighbors huffed and said, “Well, fine! Just be back by 8:00 a.m. because we’re Christians and we have CHURCH in the morning!” (We had been neighbors for two years…they knew I wasn’t a last minute party girl! I wasn’t a party girl at all!! WTH!!?? Anyway….)
So, I found emergency care for the kids, drove myself to the ER (fending off at least one drunk in down town who reached in through the car window begging for money—which said window was down because I had no AC, and this was summer in July in Kansas…) and…a few hours later I was diagnosed with an Ectopic pregnancy which had burst, was life threatening, and I was dying, and they scheduled emergency surgery for 7 a.m. the next day. My 33rd birthday. In a panic I called the guy who was the reason I was pregnant (whom I had broken up with the month before FOREVER! Again) and explained that my Christian Neighbors had to make it to church so could he please pick up the kids by 8 a.m. before I went into surgery???
He assured me this would be done so I fainted back into my pain and fear and confusion.
Then surgery came about, and as they were wheeling me in the nurses said, “OK! Who in the waiting room do we need to tell?”
Groggy, I said, “What?”
She said, “Who in the waiting room is waiting to hear?
I said, “Whaaa???.....Oh. No one.”
She said, “Are you serious?”
I was confused enough as it was, so I kind of frowned at her like she was hard of hearing and said, “Yes…..”
She said, like her heart was breaking, “Ohhhhhhh…...” La la land for me!
But…the next morning, as I was recovering, the nurses brought in a surgical glove that they’d inflated, and written “Happy Birthday!” on! I LOL’d! I said, “This is udderly redikkalus!”
And then Jerry (the SO who had impregnated me, and grabbed the kids) showed up with the kids…who had insisted that he had to stop at various and sundry garage sales because that’s what Mom would do…..and…. the kids had bought a “vase” and he made a point of buying flowers to fit…it was the most beautiful offering I guess I’ll ever get again in my life. And I still have the “vase.” And always will. Which is a mass-production ceramic teapot.
Oh, the times I dared to turn the kids loose in the neighborhood…and they just gravitated to the nearest garage sale!! LOL!! Boy, it paid off for me!!
We may never pass this way again….
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