What have you hesitated to put on fluther?

Removed by Fluthermucker for not meeting the intellectual standards of Fluther

My problem is that I am usually self-indulgent enough to post whatever I am thinking or feeling at the time. I wish I were more like you, because I don’t really like the view of myself that I see in the reactions of some other people on here to my style.

….well…......there….....was that…....... well…er…um…..well ... .

@Fluthermucker No ad hominems or flaming here, but I do want to remark on this false notion that Fluther has this group of untouchable elite users. It’s absurd, we all get modded, we all get flamed. If you’re too timid to say something for fear of strong backlash, don’t bitch later that you aren’t able to say what’s on your mind.

I progress:

I withdraw my really crass or otherwise in-bad-taste comments and answers. Often.

Yes, but then I realize, what good would it do. It would only incite more anger. I’ve decided, I don’t care to live my life on a discussion board, going back and forth, to make a point, to only fall on deaf ears, with overly opinionated, angry people.

But, I do enjoy the drama of others here. My dog and I, bet on which Fluther member will come out looking like the biggest ahole. So far my dog is winning, he seems to have the uncanny ability of having better instincts than I do.

@Grisaille “It’s absurd, we all get modded, we all get flamed.”

I understood it to be in the rules that there should be no ‘flaming’ or personal attacks…silly me.

Don’t feel too badly, @daloon. We’ve all fallen short of our goals. It sounds like you are actually ahead of the crowd. It’s refreshing to see someone who really does pour forth the effort to do right by others and show mercy, so I hope the approach you take while digesting this act won’t be one of self-loathing, but a more balanced approach which includes both this act AND the mercies you have shown in the past.

To answer the question, Yes. I just did that last night. It is NOT my social norm to name-drop in a less than positive light. I, like you, have very strict personal rules about that. Sometimes (albeit rarely) it does provide benefit in the end. Even though my intentions were not bad, I still had to srop my standards in order to comply with a request that would have otherwise rendered me…...shall we say…..unworthy…..of further attention. SInce I had more than just myself to worry about, I opted to temporarily suspend my standards.

I have a habit of speaking my mind. The ones I actually leave are bad enough… let alone the ones I’ve removed.

@Fluthermucker I’m assuming you’re not remarking as if my comment was directed as a personal attack against you, as it wasn’t.

The fact of the matter is that a post can contain both incendiary material and actual meaningful content that progresses the discourse forward. Those, as I’ve noticed, are left for the rest of the collective to pick apart. If you feel the victim of some sort of concentrated effort to troll you, there’s always the “flag” button. If the mods don’t respond they way you expect, chances are you’re the troll.

Regardless, as I’ve said above, we’re all challenged on here – sometimes civilly, other times not. I’ve noticed that there are always a few users from a new influx that complain that they are unfairly treated, and that the older users are in somehow treated as deities.

If you only knew some of the idiotic drama that goes on behind the scenes.

I do what many people should do;when I come across a comment I find offensive/ignorant or disrespectful I just ignore it unless it is directed at me,,,,,,live and let live !!
I have yet to understand why people take the time to post comments to a question :I find this question stupid or I don’t really care !!

@Fluthermucker Hi, dood! Nice cat yer wearing :)
Look, would you do me a favor if I asked nicely? Can we move on with this stuff? I’d really hate to see a perfectly good thread ruined.

I am generally pretty open. I avoid putting other flutherites on the spot and I avoid disclosing personal information about people without their consent.

@phillis Bye.

Now, now, now. That WOULD be telling, would it not? Tisk! : D

@daloon oh if you only knew.

My intent on Fluther is not to intentionally hurt anyone’s feeling or make a statement that deliberately downgrades any race. for these reasons, this is why i never read other peoples answers, before i give mine. i sit and think, before i speak(sorta). i think Fluther, like Answerbag, is a free speech forum of the people to ask questions and give each ones answer. i have learned a lot by just reading the questions. i will only give answers to subjects i am familiar with. generally, i am not the type person to “backout” of anything. i do not like confrontations, but i will be there to stand my ground, if the situation demands it. when i ask questions on Fluther, 90% of the time, i already know the answer. i do this in hopes maybe someone will learn something from my past experiences in a 44 year marriage to the same lady and 44 years in law enforcement.

I’ve refrained (with one exception) from posting curt replies to questions in which the poster obviously applied no common sense toward resolving that particular issue.

I think that many of my dealings with @galileogirl qualify.
Not that I think she is a bad person (though apparently she thinks I am) but it’s also obvious that there is a serious personality conflict there that she seems to thrive on.

“You’re just looking for some kind of validation of your own opinion, or maybe of yourself.”

Pot, meet kettle.

I do find myself using the delete button often. I think that it is more of a personal policing. I am hyper critical of what I am saying. Unfortunately I do not have a filter, so whatever I am thinking tends to come out. I am not above embarrassing myself for the sake of a decent fluther conversation.

I have to let it out sometimes although I usually don’t like to hurt anyone deliberately apart from the vicious jab.
It keeps the bodies out of the morgue.

I tend to react fairly quickly in a sarcastic or snarky way at times. Sometimes, I have the grace to see that the remark may be painful to someone or cause offense and I don’t post it; sometimes I let it go for the sake of the joke. Most of the time, I try not to use my humor in a hurtful way.

@avvooooooo Maybe validation of myself, but I’d rather have this particular opinion invalidated. The only opinion I have made here is critical of myself. Validation of myself is what I’ve been looking for for ages. Perhaps in the wrong ways. There are many times I don’t know what is right. There are also times when I feel very strongly about what is right. I still try to be polite. Sometimes I lose it.

Ditto what @janbb said.

I hesitate to say.

If there is something I hesitated to put on Fluther, why would I put it on Fluther now? ~

Actually, I never call people names, I don’t gossip, and I don’t flame. If someone attacks me directly I may respond in a reasonable tone to ask that they not call names. If they persist I move on to another thread.

If I see someone being very aggressive, in full-on attack mode, I might flag the response if they are way off the rails. However, if they are only protecting themselves I might not. Or I might flag everybody and let the mods sort it all out.

When it is a contentious discussion and I am fully engaged, I will often edit a response 3 or 4 times. And then sometimes figure it’s just not worth it and move on.

I am not sure if that is a case of “discretion being the better part of valor” or just cowardice, hehehehe. I think it depends upon with whom I am jousting!

My most convicted and intellectually honest questions.

As they will be shot down as either politically incorrect or propaganda.

Well, I was going to make this picture of me naked in the ocean (from the back, showing my butt) my avatar, but then I was like, nah…

But seriously, what I have hesitated to put (in other words, typed and then removed) has pretty much been the same as what you described. Sometimes I felt like being a little meaner, but I just didn’t want to do it. Not because I thought it would get modded, but because I just didn’t want to start anything.

Other times if I’m more angry or perturbed, then I’ll just go ahead and do it and not give a fuck.

The only reason I’d comply with something I deemed an odd, off, offensive comment is to get my point across. Over the years I’ve learned that I’m quite witty and quick to say something. I’m some what of a smart ass ;). This in my life outside of fluther gets me in trouble a lot, because I don’t have time to review my words before hand.

As I type this here in the comment box, I can see what I’ve written typed and if I need to reflect more on what I might be posting I can look at the spiffy preview below it. Many a times I’ve typed something and said, “Um, this is probably gonna be mean.” or “Someone is going to take this the wrong way.” If I can’t edit it into being more appeasable then I throw it out. In which case I usually do, since I’ve kind of always had a hard time explaining myself.

On the other hand, again in life outside of fluther, in certain situations I’ve often thought about what needs to be said. This is usually when I know this conversation is going to happen, because I know if I didn’t think it through before hand I’d probably come off not how I intended to at all.

Although, there have been a few people I’ve just wanted to throttle, but I hold back, because I know it’s pointless and I’m better than that. It brings me down to give in.

@proXXi I’m sure you can find a way to ask your questions as questions (i.e., without propaganda, assumptions or insults). I think you are right that people won’t agree with you, but surely disagreement, if done politely, is healthy. I think you are also right to think that people will call you a troll. But I do think there is a way to ask questions that may offend many without trolling. It just has to be a real question, not a statement in the form of a question.

@daloon I welcome polite disagreement, especially from someone who is well-informed.

Secrets I wouldn’t even share with my diary.

I keep wanting to know what it’s like to kill somebody.

Granted, anyone who has is probbaly in prison, but there are also some soldiers on here, and I don’t ask because it seems totally not respectful, but I really am curious. :/

Whatever the situation is, but my rep is already pretty horrible so, might as well not make it worse.

>_>

Yer so evil, Sym :)

I prefer confrontation, I prefer having people feel it’s okay to be honest with me, especially when and if it is about me. I realize however that many people are into this politically correct spare my feelings and I’ll laugh at you behind your back bullcrap…

Honesty affords us all our right to know when and where we need correction with our scope of personal error and right action.

Everyone has a right to make mistakes, but I feel that they as well have a right to know others feelings concerning those mistakes.

I can be a bit much, I have a temper, and I can get loud and even be disagreeable often times downright antagnoistic. I know it though, so I have a mouth, but I also have self control and common sence that prevents me from harming anyone or doing anything stupid.

I think it’s a total lack of respect to just allow another person to fumble through when they need correction in order to better themselves in important social and life experience ways.

Being gentle and tactful however is somehow difficult with some people unwilling to bend or to change. I am not that person, if I am wrong, and you can reasonably show me I am wrong, my opinions alter quite easily. I have gone through my entire life taking stock and reapplying life and opinions and actually FORMING a personality instead of just adopting one and sticking to things that no longer fit.

I believe by sharing, by caring about another person enough to make that personal sacrifice and to put forth the effort says more about you than it does about the other person even in error. Those who keep it to themselves and mock you or torment you behind your back for things that they are not giving the other person the benefit of the doubt that they might be able to alter or adjust are just bullies and cowards.

I think you pretty much handle yourself rather well Wan, you’re good!

Not to mention… as an important side thought that needs a seperate post for content. This is how rumors and lies perpetuate to the benefit of a manipulator and the harmful detriment of a tormentor and a liar. By NOT confronting a person accused of, or even if they are guilty of anything or not, the secrative aspect of it prevents correction, it causes hate, and people turns into hypocrites, DOING the very thing they are hating on someone for supposedly being that they may very well NOT be at all. If you’re told not to address it or acknowledge it, is it fair to torment someone for it when you don’t know the whole story?

That phenomonon allows a person to be tormented for something, that might not be completely deserved. This is how people are being goaded into suicide, tormented on behalf of others sick reasons publically and if NO ONE askes, or ever confronts how do you even know for certain, I mean for sure that any of it is deserved or true or anything?

Confrontation is necessary to solve a problem. Cowards hold back…

I had a long post that I just deleted after a brief hesitation. Why stir stuff up needlessly?