Am I being selfish?

Let them make a copy. It is the last picture of someone they also love.

Send them a similar picture of someone else.

I’d feel the same way. It’s your special memento if you will, and I don’t think you should be made to share it.

Why not scan it, print it, and give them the prints? The only image that you were a structural part of will still be the original, and they probably don’t understand its intrinsic value anyway.

I second @chyna. Why will the picture become any less special for you if others who love her have it too? It is true that you took the picture and did the work and so you’ll have the original. You can always let them make a copy without the memory being stolen.

Or you could ask “How much $$$ is this worth to you?”

Giving them prints from a scan does not diminish the experience you had in making the original or your memory of your GG. And you’ll always have the original.

you are very very selfish!

I don’t think you’re being selfish. I can understand where you’re coming from. However, you have to ask yourself whether it’s so special to you that you’d risk losing the respect of your family members…

I can understand your position, but I also understand that they want a picture of someone they loved. It might be nice to share, but I totally understand why you don’t want to.

No, I do not think that you are being selfish is not as if it is the only existing photograph of that person !
You do not owe anyone anything,the photograph belongs to you and if you do not want to share it you do not have to regardless of anyone thinks.

Like most of of what we experience in life, it comes down to a mathematical equation.

Is the value of that one picture worth more than the sum total of your family’s love and respect, as well as your own self respect. None of us here on Fluther…or anywhere on the ‘net can answer that for you. Only you have that answer.

Good luck. I hope you find your answer and I hope that it sets you free, in more ways than one.

@Fluthermucker on the other hand, when your family can’t respect your wishes and tries to steal stuff of your walls—do you even want their “love”?!

Now that they’re threatening you, I wouldn’t want them to have the picture either. Wait until they stop asking you, then make prints and give them framed copies in about 6 months. I can understand your position, but why don’t you want them to have a copy? It the last picture of her, smiling and in her own house! They loved her too.

Regardless of whether or not you give them the picture, it does not alter the fact that she let you take the picture or that she was special to you. Playing “No, No! Mine, mine!” doesn’t add value to the picture or the experience of the relationship. Do you really dislike your relatives so much that you would not share something of meaning with them?

I would make them all a copy of the photo and be done with them.

A picture has two parts – a physical artifact and a meaning. You can share the physical artifact, but the meaning – the most important part – will always be uniquely yours alone.

Being with your great grandma and making a picture of her is important to you. Your relationship with her was yours alone. No one can interfere with that. The photograph is an artifact of the process of being with your grandma, but only for you. For others it will trigger their own memories and feelings. It will be unique to them.

Share the artifact – let others feel what they may. You will bring them joy. The joy you retain will, at least, remain unchanged, and at most, grow.

Maybe I’m a little dense tonight but I’m still trying to figure out why you won’t allow copies of the photo.

With todays scanning technology you can get a near perfect copy and make as many copies as desired from the file.

How does that diminish your photo or your memories of her ?

I must confess that I really don’t get it. Of course it’s your right to refuse their request since it’s your photo, but that’s not the point. It may be your right, but is it wise to do that ?

Are you under the impression that having the ONLY copy increases it’s value somehow ?

I just don’t get it. I don’t usually judge people on issues which don’t affect my life in any way. But, you did ask the question, so I will answer. Yes, I think you’re being selfish and needlessly so.

You are not just talking about a picture, your talking about family. You lost your great-grandmother. Why diminish her family by withholding copies of your special photo, You lose nothing by sharing. Your great-grandmother would be appalled at your unwillingness to share a picture of her with your family. I’m sure your family is.

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle,
And the life of the candle will not be shortened.

Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Buddha
———————————————————-

Karma is a bitch.

Unknown

Well… While I completely understand how you feel, yes, I think you are to some degree. I don’t know how else to answer this, other than to be honest: My best friend died on the 17th. He was not the kind of person that was happy about pictures being taken of him, and he rarely let it happen. If the people that do have pictures of him felt the same way you did, I would have no pictures of him whatsoever. Do you know how badly that would hurt me? I was beyond close with him and thought of him as some kind of soul mate. If people denied me pictures…. I have no idea what I would do. Saying it would hurt me doesn’t even begin to convey how it would make me feel inside.

Like other people have been telling me for one reason or another about my best friend: All that truly matters is that you know how things were in your heart. You know that you had a special relationship with her, and sharing a picture won’t change that. And she knows, if she’s anywhere else out there. You know, she knows… Nothing else matters.

I understand how you feel and I can’t say that I wouldn’t feel the same but I do think it’s a little selfish because, as others have pointed out, you weren’t the only one who loved her and if it was one of the last pictures of her smiling then I can completely understand why others would want a copy of that picture.

First, I have to say that your Aunt and Mother are being very immature about all of this in the way they’re approaching you about it That’s probably some of the reason you don’t want to share it. I don’t blame you for feeling that way.

But, I do have to agree that you should probably share it though .. I’m sure your great-grandmother would want all her loved ones to have a copy of that picture. Remember that no one can “steal” the memory you have of her when you took the picture though. That will always be in your heart and just between the two of you.

I agree with @JustPlainBarb – it is understandable you do not want to share, but maybe you should anyway. What that picture means to you is not about the picture, it is about you and your great-grandmother. Others having copies to remind them of their memories of her cannot take away from that. Even if you give them an exact copy, it will not be the same picture for them, because your relationship to her and how the picture was taken are special and specific to you.

But if you cannot bear them having an exact copy, how about scanning it, and somehow modifying it in Photoshop – in a nice way, like modify the tones to look like a painting, or cropping it somehow, or whatever, I am not an expert – and giving the modified prints as presents? That way everyone will have a copy, but it will not be the exact same?

@Janka That was really good, constructive advice. GA

Ditto what @lucillelucillelucille said.

Not really. When my half brother’s father died. they wouldn’t even give him one picture of him and my bro is still broken up over it. i don’t think you’re being selfish, but i also under stand where they are comin from.

I can understand it. But I can also understand their position.

I’d keep it for now. You may feel differently about it later.

You are being selfish, but I am not judging you for it. I agree with what others have said – making copies will NOT diminish how special it was that she let you take the picture…

I’m with @chyna as my gut instinct.