What to do with this 12 years of relationship with my cousin? We're both girls?

What? Are you at least second cousins?

You have three choices -

Keep up what you’ve got going. At least you know it works

Tell your family, and risk causing a very ugly uproar.

Break it off.

Only you can decide which is the best course of action.

Kissing cousins?

Pics, i definitely need pics to make sure this is kosher.

In all honesty, do what makes YOU TWO happy. Family is suppose to be forever, accepting or not. Maybe youll have at least a few that support you guys and how you feel for each other.

It’s not like you’re going to make babies. Have fun! Fk the family.

Since you’re both female and (I’m assuming here) not thinking about creating offspring together (there is now, if you were wondering, a mechanism available where a female’s stem cell can be turned into a sperm and then coupled with your cousin’s egg be made into a fetus but genetic counseling would be necessary and there might be legal issues, depending on the state) and are adults, I, for one don’t see a problem with your relationship. I understand that others will have a knee-jerk reaction to say that it’s inappropriate but people say that regardless – if you really love each other, say screw it and move away from those that are being negative…

@Seek_Kolinahr We tried to stop, but we finally admited that we feel good together, it is just very scary to tell the family

Go for it. To hell with the family, they’re not the ones in the relationship.

I suppose at some stage you might have to ‘come out of the double-closet’. Eventually someone is probably going to walk in on something incriminating.

@Axemusica First cousins are legal in many places too.

Maybe break one piece of the news first? Either, “I’ve been involved with one of my cousins” but refuse to say who, or “I like girls.” Once your family’s had time to process one part, add the other?

@sliceswiththings If any of us starts with a ’‘I’ve been involved with one of my cousins” they will immediately find out with whom, the other choice sounds better but still, she is very afraid of what they can say, and I told her, it is not a relationship of 2 weeks, 12 years dont mean we’re playing, we just love to be togeher.

At one time it was entirely normative for first cousins to marry. In our culture there is some stigma, but it is still done. There is no danger of the two of you passing on any genetic defects. Do what you like. Families often disapprove of someone’s actions. Too bad for them.

@sliceswiththings really?? I dunno, I just am reminded of my cousins and am repulsed, lol. I couldn’t imagine.

@Newbie Ok, well look at this way. If you two truely do love one another. The family is going to figure it out anyway. Might as well break it to them by being honest then trying to hide it.

@pdworkin We cannot pass any genetic defects, we’re both girls, that’s the problem, the family not only have to deal with the fact that we’re cousins and in love, but, that we’re bisexuals.

@Axemusica speak for yourself…man, both my brother and myself have always wanted to do our cousin…she is beautiful and smart and flirtatious…when I came to America, she helped me with jig saw puzzles…I stared at her butt…

As long as you are not planning on having children there is no reason that you cannot go forward with your relationship.

If you can handle the possible fallout and estrangement from your families of origin.

You can go ahead and come out about your relationship. I am assuming since you say that it has gone on as long as it has that you are both adults.

You can continue to hide things, which doesn’t seem very satisfactory.

Or you can decide to stop seeing each other.

You need to both be on the same page as to what you want to do.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I did speak for myself. That’s why I used the word “I”, lol ;P

@Axemusica I know, I just really wanted to share this crush I (still have) had on my cousin

Whatever you decide, you are going to have deal with a lot once it comes out in the open. You are worried about how your family will react, but the reactions from those you are not related to will also be strong. People will be angry and disgusted. They will laugh, they will refuse to talk to you two or spend time with you. I think that if you are truly in love with your cousin and that you both think you can handle the nasty repercussions, then you will be fine. However, as harsh as this may sound, you have to consider how you will be treated out in the world.

I hope everything works out for the best.

You know, to many people, you will be just a couple…they’ll ridicule you for being ‘homos and lesbos’ and all that…only some know that you’re cousins…

I did a lot of thinking before posting an answer. i believe that a persons sexual preference is a persons own personal choice. i smoke cigarettes and thats my personal choice. since none of us know your family like you know your family, you two are going to have to weigh the good against the bad before you decide to tell them. i see it this way, for twelve years you have had this secret kept within yourselves and your family has kept their sanity. why now? why the sudden urge to unwrap your package? my theory is: “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. don’t you think your family may already have a hint of this secret? each one of you not dating would be a red flag to me, if i were your parents. i think your family may already know this, but like you two, have decided to stay in their own closet, until you two make the first move.

@ucme That was a very rude remark. Please don’t critique my style. It has nothing to do with you, and I find it hostile when you do it.

Whoa, easy there folks. Them big words are gett’n a bit rustled up there. You better throw some water on it now, before it catches a flame. :)

@pdworkin Very well. Although to state that someone is & I quote ” not the sharpest knife in the box”. Correct me if i’m wrong, belongs very firmly however misinformed in that category. Contradictory I believe is a suitable reposte sir. Fair thee well but be back soon.

@Axemusica No beef here just merely expressing one or two salient facts.

@ucme just wanted to let you know that I flagged some of your responses as a personal attack – whatever your ‘beef’ is, it has no place here

I second that @Simone_De_Beauvoir – I have read ucme’s remarks about pd and I think there’s no place for that here.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir & @ Zen Again Whatever pleases you. Free speech. Not a problem to this poster.

[mod says] Off topic chatter and personal attacks will be removed.

It’s a toughie, it happens all the time, everywhere in most if not all cultures and countries, I know first cousins who have 2 kids, thier family dont like it much but have accepted it (they are Male / female) – to me – it’s not a major issue, at least you are going in with eyes open. If you love eachotherand are prepared to accept the fall-out if there is some then “batter in” as they say in Glasgow.
Good luck to you. If you both love eachother I wish you all the happiness cos there isnt enough LOVE in this world and you should absorb as much as you can at every opportunity!!

How old are you?

“What to do?”?
Adult film industry probably pays a lot for this kind of thing.

Just out of curiosity.. Were you two together before you knew you were cousins? Like, did you date for a few years and then “meet” again at a family reuinion? Or did you know getting into this that you two are related?

But hey, if you two make eachother happy, I say forget the rest of the world.

You know that your options are restricted. In terms of what do to – you have to both work out what is most important to you. Since there is a chance you may both lose your family over this, hurt your family, or at the very least lose the kind of bond and relationship with them you now have, is being openly together the most important thing. Or is it your family(families)

Can you live without each other and keep the family together and happy?

Can you live with the consequences of telling your family?

Can you live and keep this secret?

Whatever you do, realise that you may be making a selfish choice. I can’t help but think that sometimes we have to do things we don’t want, for the benefit of others.

I feel for you and hope that whatever you do, it works out.

If you are both adults and both of you feel a strong desire to commit to each other and since there is no genetic risk of producing children of birth defects, there is no reason for anyone else to stand in your way. Your families will react as they choose. That is beyond your control.

I wish you both the best for your future happiness.

I’ve heard about cousins getting together.. The issue here is that in top of you being relatives, you are both girls.. I don’t really know what to say but if you are in love and you’ve been that way for 12 years, you should just be together =)

@Newbie ; Tell the family only if you have to, hug lots at gatherings and Continue being Together, It sounds like you Love to be together so don’t mess with it if it’s Working and Feels Good!

The Wife and I have her BFF living with us and it’s Wonderful- I want to have my Cousin move in but she needs to transfer her job first!