How do I get out of a very bad dating rut!
For the most part, I have had good boyfriends over the last couple years. I broke it off with the first man due to him insisting that I move in—I was not ready at the time and I felt alot of stress from him and my family on the topic. About 6 mos later I met another man who I felt was worth committing to. The relationship was quite good, no major problems. I have a hard time when its my ‘time of month’ with my emotions and I started getting upset with him all the time. We had a bad outburst where he broke off plans with me on his birthday to stay home because he said he was working late ( through text message). I called him but he didnt my call. I decided to drive to his place and saw that he was not working and was there. I was so mad ( I had set up something for his bday) I walked into his apartment ( I had a key) uninvited and we had a horrible fight, I was crying and screaming, not my usual self at all. We broke up on the spot.
Its been a year since him and Ive been out on dates but I have not found any guy worth seeing. I dont meet many men because of the demand of my career and I am starting to feel very alone, my friends are all engaged or married. Overall, I do have my issues but all past boyfriends ( except for the last one) would say I am more normal than most girls. I dont drink/smoke, have a good job and am considered attractive by many men. Does anyone else feel this way? Has anyone else lost a good guy and regretted it like I do?? I am feeling like there is not much hope for me to find someone.
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11 Answers
Just because your friends are engaged or married does not mean they’re with anyone worth being with – find a bright side in yourself being single…do not lower your standards
Not necessarily the most moral thing, but go out with a guy not worth seeing, then meet his friends:)
I agree with @Simone_De_Beauvoir ! And if your time of the month is that bad, talk to your doctor. You can probably get it straightened out.
You just haven’t found the right guy for you yet. Don’t compare yourself to others. You need to focus on being the best YOU you can be. If you feel the need to consult your doctor about your hormonal changes, do so. Get involved in activities that you enjoy… find happiness within yourself first. Relationships don’t necessarily make you happy so don’t worry about the ones that got away .. they probably weren’t the right ones anyway.
Your are worthy and you will find someone worthy of you. He’s looking for his soul mate too!
You can find someone out there.
One thing you might want to do in the interim is look into why you have these emotional outbursts. It is not normal premenstrual behavior.
What ever happened to communication? You clearly never expressed your expectations to your ex boyfriend. You expected he would like something done on his birthday. He wanted to be home alone. He probably realized that if he told you what he really wanted, you wouldn’t understand and wouldn’t listen anyways. And look how it ended. On his birthday nonetheless. Nice gift!
Using your menstrual cycle as an excuse for your behavior is a total cop out. You seem like a control freak. When something doesn’t go your way you throw a tantrum.
The key to a successful relation is sharing your needs and expectations with your partner and vice versa AND you both must be willing to meet each others needs and expectations. It’s this type of communication that guarantees success. You see, within it lies the need for compromise. And unless you are willing to learn to compromise, you’ll never find a relationship you are truly happy in.
I know myself. I am unwilling to compromise. Selfish? Maybe. And as such, I am not looking for a relationship. It wouldn’t be fair. But, I am happiest being alone. That doesn’t mean I am lonely.
External things do not make one happy. Why do you feel the need to be in a relationship? It won’t change who you are. Only you can change who you are. Happiness is internal.
Will you someday find someone? Sure! Absolutely? Will you be happy? Only as long as things go your way. Then you’ll bitch and complain until someone else comes along.
Meh… I’m just an asshole and that’s my opinion.
Date me!.....or not :( lol
but do not feel bad I am in the same situation in a way…..I would not compromise for guys and you have not….so I don’t think you should feel bad and not moving is understandable I think.
maybe you need someone who understands where you are coming from better….like maybe if they read this question I bet they would understand better how you felt… ;)
As much as I hate to say it, there’s probably a grain of truth in what @Futomara stated in an undiplomatic way. Indulging in PMS can become a convenient excuse for being witchy; you learn to manage it, either through meds or learning to control your behavior. Do you go psycho on your boss or co-workers? Probably not. Why is it okay to do it with a boyfriend or others you care about?
Perhaps talking to your OB/GYN about hormone testing and therapy, or if that checks out normal, maybe talk to a counselor about healthy communication styles in times of stress.
Become the happiest, most complete, together YOU that you can be each day. Find the answer to your the mood swings around your time of the month. discover if your issues are physical or with in your soul. Then Smile. Laugh. Be healthy. Find events that refelct your interests and friends who share your values. Love will find you. Be picky, very picky.
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