Any advice on convincing parents to get permission?

Seriously, you are 20 years old. An adult. Unless yoou are asking your parents to fund this trip I am not sure why you need your parents permission.

Its just that they both come from very strict parents, and they are not very open minded. I hate that I need their permission but thats the way things are in my family..

As @Leanne1986 said, unless you’re using their money, you don’t need their permission.

Can you explain why you feel like you, as an adult, need your parents’ permission?

@May2689 Well in that case you will still need to get permission to do things when you are in your 40’s. I’m sorry to be blunt but you need to grow a backbone and break away a little from “that’s just the way things are”, otherwise you will always be worried about getting their permission or blessing for doing things that, as an adult, you shoould be able to do if you you wish and can afford it.

If you were in the United States, you would be of legal age to do as you please. but, since you are in Mexico, the laws there may be entirely different. no matter, your dad does not want you to go for one reason and you know why. i was the same with my daughter. we never think our little girl will ever be a woman. its just a dad thing. i will say this, your dad is your dad and your boyfriend is not your dad. i would honor my dads wishes. you and your boyfriend can have your night together, before he leaves in three weeks. thats time enough for a lot of goodbyes.

Tsss those parents going no on everything are really asking for it. Me I would
1) tell him afterwards, or
2) make up some lies

Do you live under your fathers roof?
Do you still want/need to after you make an adult decision to go?

You need to pick and choose your fights. Being an adult is being accountable for the decisions you make.

Move to Australia with your boyfriend and get out from under the roof of parents that don’t treat you like an adult at age 20.

Lighten up, people! I could be wrong here, but I am pretty sure families in her culture are generally close-knit and respect toward one’s elders – even after reading the legal age of maturity – is an important aspect of the family dynamic. Just because she doesn’t straight up disregard her dad’s wishes doesn’t mean she has no backbone.

As for how to convince him, I have no idea. You said sometimes he says “yes” and other times “no.” What has made him say “yes” in the past?

over 18, just go. there is nothing they can do, and any consequences/punishments they have warned you of will likely be much less sever than what they say or you imagine. or alternatively just roll with what @jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities said.

You live in a culture where your parents’ permission is important—for all concerned. You are the one that needs to find a way to get his permission, or you will not be able to go. That’s pretty clear.

Maybe your mother can help?

She has the choice whether or not to remain in that culture and abide by its traditions. I don’t understand why anyone would want to. “Blind obedience to overbearing parents” seems like a pretty stupid cultural trait. And it’s not like cultures are inherently worth preserving or respecting simply because they’re “cultures.”

My advice: ask your dad if he has any rational reasons why he doesn’t think you should go on his trip. If he does, then listen, and respond to them calmly and rationally. Maybe he actually does have a good reason for not wanting you to go, one that you haven’t thought of. If that’s the case, be open-minded and discuss it.

If, on the other hand, your dad is the kind of person who feels he doesn’t need to justify himself and can just order you around because you’re subservient, you ought to make it clear to him that he is mistaken.

For once, I agree with @Qingu.
Anecdote: I have been planning to move out and into an apartment with my boyfriend for over a year now. Things finally fell into place, and I told my dad (after telling my mother) that I would be moving out. He said things like “you’re not allowed,” “I’m not letting you go,” etc. Bottom line, I’m moving out whether they want or “allow” me to or not. I don’t think anyone should allow others to suffocate them and squelch their happiness.

If you are running off to have sex, then…

The more your parents love you, the less likely they are to give you permission to pimp yourself out to someone who does not love you enough to marry you.

.

My father was raised in South America. I had to have a dueña along on dates so I would never be alone with a boy who was not family. My father would never have allowed me to go off and spend a night in a hotel with a man to whom I wasn’t married. Even in this age of birth control, all sorts of undesirable things can happen.

Is your boyfriend going to Australia just for a while, or is he going permanently? If the former, you can bow to your father’s wishes and skip the night away. He will come back and your relationship may progress to marriage. If he is going permanently, why hasn’t he spoken to you and your father about marriage already?

Certainly you need to talk to your boyfriend about your parents’ concerns, and you need to talk to your father about his concerns. Your father is only trying to protect you, and if your boyfriend really loves you, he should be doing the same.

What do you mean, get permission? You’re 20yrs old, start acting like an adult & perhaps your dad will start treating you like one.

If it is a culture thing here then the question is, how long is she going to need to get her parents permission to do things that adults are perfectly within their rights to do? Will she still be asking questions like this when she is 30 or 40? I’m all for respecting elders, that shouldn’t be a culture thing but a worldwide thing in my opinion but respecting and bowing down to is two different things. The point is, yes it may cause animosity but, at her age, her dad should noot be the one who has the final say on this matter.

@DrBill, not everyone subscribes to your outdated moral attitudes about sex, or your bizarre implication that women who choose to have sex before marriage are “pimping themselves out.”

I wonder if you’d say the same thing about a guy who chose to have sex before marriage. Doubtful.

I keep hearing what she should do or can do as an adult. Living in such a backward culture and such.

Is she at an age (and situation) that she is allowed to have her cake and eat it too? What ever she now wants she can have? With no effort on her part but to take/have what she asks for?

She needs to follow the rules and requirements that are part of how she is currently living. Like we all do.

Sure, I agree she should move out. Go to Australia. That is a plan!
If she could she would have already done so. And this question would not have been asked.

Now who is going to pay for this? Who is going to afford her that “adult” luxury taking the “risks” that come with it? Her father? He is providing for her already and has been. It is his home and his rules.
Eventually we outgrow our parents “direction” following the beat of a different drummer. That drive causes us to grow up and make it happen. On our own, so we can call the shots.
If we do not then what we do not have and/or that sacrifice falls on us not our parents.

Sounds like the cart before the horse to me. Under the circumstances.

She needs to get a job. Afford to move out. At that point daddy is no longer an issue.

@ChazMaz I agree that if daddy is paying for this trip of hers then everything I said above is irrelevant.

@Qingu

My standards may or may be outdated for those with no moral standards, but I agree they are higher than most people want to live with.

If we were talking about a guy, I would still have the same opinion.

If it were my own child, I would still have the same opinion.

My boyfriend is coming back, hes only leaving for six months. And no, Dr. Bill, we would not be staying in a hotel and I would certainly not be pimping myself out. He has a house there. But regardless, what you said is completely out of the topic. I know what moral standards are and my family does as well, after three years and a half in a serious relationship where the marriage talk has been had, and not only with me but with my parents as well. I think that agree with some of you that in some cultures I need to ask permission, thats the way its always been in my family, as a sign of respect.
Frankly, Ive decided that Im going to tell him the truth. Im going to listen to his opinion and calmy answer any questions that he has.