Why is kindness a responsibility?

Kindness doesn’t always look like kindness. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for someone is to shake them up good.

Our responsibility is to seek the greater good. Most often, that goal is best served by good old-fashioned kindness, but not always.

This is a marvellously worded question!

I think kindness is its own reward, and those who had good upbringing were told this in different ways – when the end result is the same.

Nice job!

I grew up the same way and am always immensely surprised by people being rude. Kindness is something I tried to teach my children and I don’t think you can ever go wrong being kind. I stay away from people with very different life views as much as possible. My dad used to say ‘consider the source’ when I was a kid and was upset by what someone said or did.

I agree with Harp. Sometimes but rarely, the kindest thing you can do for someone is (figuratively) slap ‘em up the side of the head. The way you can tell if you’re doing it out of spite or to help them is to check your own attitude. Are you angry when you’re doing it? Are you enjoying putting them in their place, or exacting revenge? Then you’re better off keeping your mouth shut and walking away.

It’s hard to keep your emotions on an even keel when you’re doing this, but it can be done. It’s easier if you don’t hang around them any longer than you have to though.

I agree with @Harp – except…

Kindness is the lubricant that keeps our society running smoothly. We don’t just go around slapping people on the face (literally or metaphorically) because then we couldn’t do our grocery shopping or dry cleaning without getting slapped in the face. We already have so many different ideologies, religions, philosophies, -isms, etc., in our private lives, but we need to keep up some semblance of unity as a culture (I think). We have to play nice – or be on guard all the time, and who wants that? Because for every person you think deserves a nice slap on the face, there’s someone who probably thinks the same of you.

You owe it to yourself to be nice to everyone wherever possible. That’s being true to yourself and what you believe. How people choose to react to it is their business. At least you know you did the right thing and that’s the most important thing. You never know, you might just make someone happy along the way as an added plus!!

Kindness is a necessity for livi-

Er. What @laureth said.

I’m always late to these kinds of questions.

I have modified the golden rule a little. I treat others as they treat me. I’d like to be treated nice all the time and I’d like to be able to treat everyone nice but I’d be a damn fool if I did.

Yup, and slapping someone up the side of the head should be done AS A LAST RESORT, after you’ve tried everything else, after you’ve prayed about it, after you’ve “thunk it through”, and after you’ve considered all the consequences. And can you live with things the way they are?

I had to live this one. Did all those things, and eventually I had to give hubby the big ultimatum. He chose to do the right thing, we’re still together, and we’re happy now. He even goes around speaking to men’s groups about how husbands should treat their wives. Yay, Hubby!

Treating others with kindness should be our default approach.
Those who act with cruelty or violence against others who have done nothing to deserve it or are helpless to defend themselves need to be stopped and punished.

You are not obligated to go out of your may to be kind to those who have mistreated you or threaten to harm you or others you care about. We are talking about individuals not groups.
We are not justified to mistreat groups of people on account of the behavior of a few individuals or even a subset of that large group.

Just because you don’t approve of how Islamic extremists act does not justify unkindness to all Muslims, all Pakistanis, all brown skinned people, etc.

Be specific and don’t over generalize when it comes to punishing people!

I am wondering what you mean by kindness. If by being kind you mean showing a basic civility then I think that is proper behavior. You do not have to agree with what everyone says or does to extend them a basic courtesy and listen to what they have to say. You can even openly oppose what they say if done in a respectful manner.

Civilization works by everyone being civil in their own little microcosm. Civil = nice, gracious, well mannered, decent mood. The world runs smoothly when people are courteous to each other.

Kindness isn’t a responsibility, nor is it a chore. Kindness arrises out of who we are, not what we do.

Well first of all, it’s okay to relax sometimes and not force kindness especially if you don’t believe in it – I believe people should earn your respect and kindness and if you don’t think they do, you don’t have to be kind to them. OTOH, I teach my children the following: be kind to people and even if they’re not kind to you, be kind anyway because kindness is not only for them but for your own goodness, within you…remain a person of character, especially when others lose theirs.

Kindness is not necessary, but civility is. Kindness, though, is much appreciated. It goes a long way towards how people treat you in return.

I love these quotes I’ve heard tossed around here and there. “You teach people how to treat you.” And “I expect respect from you and I will accept nothing less”. Kindness and respect are not that far off from each other.

Sometimes the way others are acting or behaving or not behaving isn’t even known to them. They are unaware of it. Or it is the result of events that just pushed them a little to far.

Your kindness could be the very act that brings them back over to happiness and contentment. The very step that sets into motion a new beginning for them. One that enables them to finish the rest of their day.

I see that all the time where I work. Once a woman came in, barely able to speak for what appeared to be anger and frustration and said “Put what is on this drive on this sheet of paper.” I did as she said as fast as I could and said if there was any other way I could help please let me know and have a nice evening, I think she might have said thank you as she walked out. She now drives past our competitor, a copy shop and another branch of our stores to come to our establishment because of the kindness I showed her.

It might take a while to. When I was 16 in my first job bagging groceries this same old woman asked for me every single week. She told me how to bag them every single week even though I knew it by heart and she got practically the same things. After about 7 weeks of this I said when I got to her car “if there is anything I can do to make any of this easier for you please let me know.” I came in the next week to find out she spoke to my manager to compliment me and gave me a Christmas tip that year. And a hug. Never said a word but “Don’t tell your boss about the tip or he’ll have my hide.”

It turns out it is actually an evolutionary factor that has led to the strengthening of the human race. Those who have show the most kindness to others have been chosen more often to procreate since the dawn of time, making kindness an important trait to the continuation of the species.

Social settings warrant adaptibility… to treat someone kindly regardless of whether or not they deserve it is a moral issue. My mother always said you can “catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” and that is good adivce if you are trying to manipulate a situation… but there is also something to be said about being true to yourself… and expressing your emotions at each moment as they occur because we all have masks we wear in any given situation and denying how we feel at any given moment causes more damage to self than we realize. And if we are not okay with us, then we can never be okay with other people. That is not a license to be cruel to others… but rather an ability to break from the shell and move beyond the self protective strategies we have created for ourselves in an effort to be authentic. I have found that being true to self is more healthy than trying to be true to others expectations… It only perpetuates the facade that has been created by ourselves as we attempt to cope with all of the issues we have dealt with from childhood… which is what makes us who we are… if we allow it. There is always a choice. Choose to be you and respond accordingly to any given situation. If you stay true to yourself in authenticity you can never go wrong.

Being kind does not mean putting up with bad behavior or forcing yourself to associate with those that you have no common ground with, or,those that are at serious odds with your value system, OR..on a path of self destruction.

One can be kind, and free others to their own journey.

We should always be kind, in general, but that does not mean at the expense of your authentic self as @Holden Caulfield says.

I recently let go of a 16 yr. friend/biz. partner because her emotional problems and denial of needing some intervention was not something I could overlook any longer.

I was kind, but honest and direct in that our incompatabilities and differing levels of development were no longer a match.

‘To thy own self be true’ does not mean suffering on behalf of others, ever.

Sometimes the kindest and most loving thing we can do is separate from situations that will only continue to create suffering for all involved.

Just like ‘forgiveness’, we must be able to forgive for our own psychic and spiritual health, but that doesn’t mean you will choose to keep that person in your life.