Can one ever fill their emotional blackhole?

Yes it is possible and I have done it.

It took years of work, years of therapy and a lot of practice. I’m not saying I never have the urge to find a quick fix (alcohol etc) but I’m much more likely nowadays to figure out why I’m feeling that way and fix the root of the problem.

Personally I don’t think I will ever fill mine. I just try to find less unhealthy fillers. It doesn’t rule my life, but it is always there to one degree or another.

well, hop in, cause i’ve felt that way my whole conscious life. it’s such an odd feeling, i don’t know whether to feel ashamed, selfish, ill-nurtured, silly, etc i think part of it is me living in a place of my own where regardless of reality and how something will turn out, it’s always built up in my hand to this fantasy or my expectations take on a mind of their own, where almost all things are upsetting, people back away, or miss something with me, if in a relationship, because i am so set somewhere empty, somewhere else they can’t get to. i think a big change would be letting people get to that point with me, where they are let in, i think i’d rather be engulfed by the black hole, than allow anything to try and fill it..i’ve given one attempt and it’s failed miserably, and as people know and operate, that is enough of a chance to last a lifetime =/
i wish you luck, sorry if this is rambling.

@rooeytoo i respect your answer entirely, sounds carbon copy to my situation. with a little less use of words.

I suggest using a C-20 mix with addtional sand or a mixture of 1 part cement, 2 parts sand or very fine aggregate, and 6 parts coarse aggregate. On an emotional level, talking out the problem with a therapist or trusted cement distribuitor.

Yes! With rocky road ice cream.

I have evolved past the need for somebody, that emotion that so many people look for, love. I see that it isn’t all important and I can be happy without a companion.

Re-visualize the imagination and that solves the problem. The only one deciding it’s a black hole is you. Make it a coffee cup or something and it’s easily filled up with hot chocolate. The focus is the basis of the problem, anyway. In imagining the source as outside of you and necessitating other to fill you, then the power is outside of your hands and the one thing that is in your hands- (i.e: the imagination), you create a black hole. Take back the power by making a decision to think a different thought. Imagine it’s a coffee cup. You’ll quickly have an overflowing cup and then you can share your cocoa with others.

The trick is not to rely on others to fill your black hole.

I have taken to filling the missing parts of my life with easy women & strong booze, don’t know if it’s really helping any but it does make the journey much more fun

@SeventhSense – is that a Jungian theory?

Ask Oprah her husband’s been gone for days!

yes but she screamed like hell when I did it without asking first

I think it’s quite cynical to say that your emotional void will never be fulfilled. I think half the battle is knowing that there is always room for expansion and that life is never complete in itself. The important part is putting your life in perspective: identify your progress, appreciate what you have and use your empty spaces to motivate you to accomplish more.

I dont ever dwell over what I dont have or what I think you need. I dont ever forget to stop every now and then and be happy with all I have so far. Also, appreciate the little things.

@Disc2021 i wish i could think the same. it’s like there’s the proof on differing outlooks of the human mind.

Stop waiting for others to fill your black holes and fill some of them yourself.

@Silhouette how do you do it girl, tell me how!

well, who wants it full… it kind of propels me through living.

@gretchenpadams First you figure out what you have, second you figure out what it is you feel you are missing, third you decide to make the required self improvements and last but by no means least, don’t look at yourself with loathing, look at yourself with acceptance, kindness and honesty.

You have to figure out what it is you need. Then you have to give that to yourself. Looking for something outside to fill something inside doesn’t usually work so great. Love yourself unconditionally. Then face the shadows you have with compassion. Make intentions to move in a direction towards what you feel you need. Accept, love and honor yourself.

What is it that gives you zest for life? Do that more often.