Phone etiquette: Are you obligated to answer the telephone?

No. That’s what answering machines are for…

I never answer the phone until I’ve listened to the caller and determine that it’s not a salesman or robocall.

no, you’re not wrong at all. the phone is there for your convenience. if you don’t feel like answering it, then don’t. but that’s just my opinion, i don’t even answer the door if i don’t feel like it…

@mellow_girl I agree 100% about the phone, not sure if I would ignore a knock on the door though.

A phone is a useful tool, but not an obligation.

I might take a peek to see who’s at the door, then ignore them. If it’s an annoying neighbor or a Jehovah’s witness, then they’re out of luck.

I respond to all outside interruptions on my terms, including knocks on the door, emails, FB messages and phone calls.

No, nor are you obligated to answer email. Who says we have to be available 24/7?

I don’t think so; I always look at caller ID & if it’s toll free, I never answer. Then I see if they leave a message. If not, I’m pretty sure I don’t need to talk to them! I also like to google the numbers. I agree w/ @mellow_girl, the phone (including caller ID) is for your convenience, not everyone else’s. My husband is like that about answering- I just make sure to get out of the way!! :-D

I don’t feel obligated to answer the phone…even if I DO recognize the number.

We have Caller ID & an answering machine. If a number pops up that we don’t recognize, we let it go. Sometimes they’ll leave a message, sometimes they don’t. We know the ones who don’t are sales calls. Don’t need them…don’t want them.

I’ll add to the unanimous consent on the phone. As for the door, the house in NH has an electric gate at the entrance with an intercom, so it can be treated the same way as the phone. The cabin in ME is 5 miles from the nearest neighbor, has no landline phone and the cell phone only works by climbing a hill (computer is by sat dish). Anybody knocking on my door here in the woods is likely to be in big trouble so I answer the door right away.

Especially since I’ve been off my anxiety medicine, I rarely answer the phone unless it’s someone I especially enjoy talking to.

Normally I don’t feel an obligation to answer. Whether or not I answer depends on what I’m doing and if I want to stop doing it to talk.

I answer neither the phone nor the door unless I am expecting a call or a visitor.

I rarely answer my phone. If someone has something important enough to say that they leave a message, I’ll see that I have a message, listen to it, and call them back.

I hate Caller-ID! I once called my cousin, but misdialed and hung up before the phone rang. The next day, I forgot all about the misdial and I got a call from someone who said they’re returning my call. We eventually got into as yelling match. He insisted I called him and I was like “You’re an effing moron!!! I never called you!!! Why are you harassing me???” Later on, I realized what had happened. I hate Caller_ID!!!

I would have applauded Dorothy Parker’s query when she heard her first ringing telephone: “What fresh hell is this?”

Since Comcast added Caller ID to my system, I deliberately duck far more calls than I take.

There was a manual which I consulted when my daughter was still breastfeeding. A sentence, which I treasure to this day, went: “If the telephone rings, let it.” Now I am retired, if I am otherwise occupied, I may answer or I may not.

@HungryGuy I once got a call from a woman who insisted my number was on her caller ID; nobody from our number had called her. I don’t know if she misread the number, disregarded the area code, or what.

I’m with you snarp. The phone is there for my convenience. I feel myself to be under no obligation whatsoever to answer the phone. I don’t really screen but if I don’t recognize the number I’ll wait to see if they leave a message. If it is a “private number” I don’t answer it either. I feel the same way about answering the door. I don’t hide either, but if I’m showering, napping, (I work nights on the weekends), when I lived with my s/o and his pill head friends came over, a door to door nuisance, I felt no need to come to the door. That went double for idiots out in the driveway, honking. I never thought of myself as rude for feeling this way. I thought I was just living my life at my own pace. I am a firm believer in appointments. Just popping by and thinking I have a free ten minutes or two hours is a mistake. Maybe it’s because my time is really valuable. I work two full time jobs and go to school online, so my free time is limited. Either way, oops to me for not looking at it from another perspective. I’ll rethink my philosophy on that one.
Sorry about your wife. You two should probably have a heart to heart and get it all out in the open. If it means anything, I think you are in the right, but you don’t have to deal with me across the dinner table every night.

@ccrow

Did that woman call you back by entering *69 or some other call return code?

my wife is the same way exactly. If it gets to the second ring then I’m not moving fast enough. We solved the phone dash problem by getting a two phone cordless set with one in easy reach from HER. Now I hardly ever answer the phone….....bliss.

@Trillian It’s hardly worth having a heart to heart over. It’s just amusing.

@HungryGuy That’s just a misuse of caller ID. It’s the person’s fault, not caller ID’s. My mother in law was living with us for a while, and her memory is pretty fuzzy. She was going to an adult day program and got it into her head that any time she wanted to tell them something she had to call after midnight and leave a message (because that was the system to sign up for field trips). One night I got an irate call from a woman who though her boyfriend was fooling around with my wife because her name showed up on his cell phone at 1 o’clock in the morning. I couldn’t get it through her head that she was being completely insane. It probably didn’t help when I laughed at her.

There is no obligation to answer the phone or answer the door. I have say over my time.

@Snarp, actually, it might be worth getting her on your wavelength on this. At work when the “tweet” sounds for someone who got a voicemail response from one of our group… and needs (or just strongly wants) to talk to a person, I’m on that sooner than almost anyone. But that’s business; a business that I choose to be a part of (and that pays me a pretty nice salary). At home, the phone is my business, and I do it or don’t do it as I choose.

If your wife was on the same page with you on this it might make her life better, as much as yours.

You know originally the telephone was thought to be a very rude. Anytime it rang it was essentially somebody demanding that you talk to them now. Back then people arranged times to call and unless it was an emergency wouldn’t call for fear of interrupting something.

I generally answer my mobile phone (cell) even if I don’t know the number as I know it is somebody that wants to talk to me personally. So out of respect I answer that. But it isn’t an obligation.

In my house I rarely answer the phone, it could be for 3 other people and I’m never going to get out of bed for that / stop playing xbox for that / stop watching a movie for that etc.

Answering a phone when you’re with another person socially is like saying “I have other options…” Unless you’re in a situation where you’re expecting someone else to show up or it’s an emergency, you don’t need to answer.

@Brian1946 No idea. She just called to rant at us for calling her, apparently.

I think your wife should be free to do as she pleases. I also think you should be free to do as you please. I think the two of you should keep in mind that you are not part of an insect colony and that you will do things your own way. The only thing accomplished by disagreeing about it will be further arguments.

No. Nobody ever has any kind of obligation to answer the phone unless it is part of their job.

No. I always look at caller ID to see if it’s someone I know. I’ve blown off my parents a few times.

I don’t even need caller ID.

The beauty of cell phones is the “Personalised RingTone”.

My husband has his own tone, my best friend has her own tone, and my sister in law has her own tone. Everyone else is in a group (Friends, people my hubby works with, his band members, extended family…) and there’s one tone for people that aren’t programmed into my phone.

You can bet dollars to doughnuts that I have never actually answered the phone for the last ringtone. Or my sister in law, for that matter. ^_^

@Seek_Kolinahr Ha, I do the same thing. My baby’s dad has his own ringtone, so I don’t even have to get up from what I’m doing to go get the phone if I hear it.

@Snarp I am in the same situation. My bf will get exasperated with me if I don’t answer my phone. I like to screen my calls, especially from weird numbers. If it’s important, theyll leave a message.

Caller id and voicemail work wonders.

Yes I am