For those who are: Why are you your own worst critic?

Who knows how shitty my work is better than I do?

I am my own worst critic because I am arrogant and think no one else can do a better job of it, seriously. I also focus on the negatives and can’t help myself. Others can.

For me I think
my playing is boring/cliche
singing is out key/tune
physically I am weak and bit out of shape, chubby slightly
mentally up and down and though I want to become lazy and complacent but I do not or try not to.
I feel below standard on intelligence

So I force my self to look at myself as “Jesus what a piece of sh….” so as time goes on I keep moving and ticking for improvement.

I HATE when people say its good or whatever, only to find something or someone else doing it better then I think to myself of my own qualities or do I really do that good?

in my life I think maybe no real parents made the situation up to me so when I failed , I failed hard….not in the literal sense, I was probably like anyone else but for me it was far worse.

To some degree I let people judge me too much and worry but then I say, I do not care only to find myself indeed caring more than before.

I guess I could go on more….but I do not even feel like it.

@frdelrosario I agree with you.
@daloon I may be my own worst critic but I am also my own best friend. I realize that it is an impossiblity to do all things well or to look better than everyone else or to have more than everyone else. But what I do well, I do very well. When I fix myself up I know no one can improve me more than I can because I know everything that works and when it doesn’t work for me. And what I do have, I have more than most. I have no desire to have the most of anything. Just more to clean. LOL But most of all. I do the best impression of me. I’m complicated and simple at the same time and I haven’t ran into anyone remotely similar to myself. I’m am constantly discovering new things about myself. So overall I like who I am and what I am and who I will always be. Me. So you can be critical which is a good thing because it drives us to improve ourselves and at the same time be accepting and never scar your ego.

Lack of balance. To me it is a result of an extremely weak ego, unable to negotiate with the overbearing Superego; those things that we are taught as a society to be, become… those standards of excellence that the Ego must provide persay. Of course Freud was a coke head… but there is some substance to his rationale. It is most certainly a learned response from childhood… criticisms by others, self doubt, low self esteem, failures… pick one. They all have their roots in throwing our Ego system off balance. It is easier to criticise oneself… be one’s most harsh critic, because deep down, we justify those criticisms and learn to adapt and compensate. Hearing it from someone else… well, that is a little too close for comfort now isn’t it?!? Messes with our egos even more…

No one else thinks I’m worth the trouble.

If I don’t criticize myself, others will. I would rather have it come from within than hear it from others even if my own version is harsher.

I think this is also the basis for self-deprecating humor. Making fun of oneself before others have a chance to. The worst they can do then is agree with you.

I’m not….my ex husband is….

Compliments are almost as bad as criticisms: they can mislead you, being useless flattery. I find that criticizing myself can be a bit painful, but at least I will not have to be told my faults by someone else.

A childhood of being criticized by everyone else. If you’re told something often enough it seeps in and you can’t help but believe it.

I’m in constant turmoil telling myself I have tons of potential, and telling myself I’m crap and shouldn’t burden anyone by letting them get to know me past random crap you’d talk about with a co-worker. Sometimes I feel as if I am two different people, one trying to succeed, and the other trying to raze everything that’s been built.

I’m not really sure why. My parents are nice, and encouraging enough. Some times I like me, and other times I don’t. One thing I always do consistently is internalize it and not put my shit on anyone else back. Often I find myself rationalizing that, I might not be better off without people, but people are better off without me.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I also self deprecate a lot. It’s funny, and diffuses what they have to say before they can get it out there.

@downtide I’ve been there. When you realize you’ve been criticized by a bunch of weak, and screwed up people, and MOST of what they said was BS…it’s quite an experience!

Because often other people are too kind—they tell you what you’re wearing looks good even if it doesn’t, what you’ve done is good even if it isn’t, that you were brilliant, didn’t just humiliate yourself…
I guess it’s a never ending cycle. People are nicer to you because they know you’ll be harder on yourself and they don’t want to push you down but then you’re harder on yourself because people are being overly nice…

I don’t think I’m overly hard on myself, I think I’m as hard as I need to be… and I think a lot of people think that about themselves. Now, I’d probably tell them they are too hard on themselves, and they’d tell me that I’m too hard on myself…

I think it’s also a kinda addicting habit. It’s hard to stop, it’s hard to turn that little criticizing voice off. It kinda goes on its own accord, doesn’t it? You’re not always conscious it’s happening…

No one else in my life is willing to be highly critical of me or my work. Someone has to do it.

I appreciate compliments but politely ignore them. Those who compliment me can’t know what I was trying to achieve, so they can’t see when I fail to achieve it. And I usually fail.

No one else knows the corners I’ve cut. No one else knows the things that go through my mind. No one else knows I’m inherently lazy.

Therefore no one else knows how to properly criticize me.

I think maybe people become less critical of themselves as they get older and allow life experiences and their personality to develop them as a person. I know that I’ve become more accepting of myself as I’ve hit my thirties and I still have insecurities in some areas but at least I acknowledge them.

My parents certainly were not role models, so as far as ‘echoing them’ I’ve probably conducted my actions and choices with a view to being the opposite of them. Maybe their failures and personalties as individuals has given me a drive to achieve more than they have/did. So if I hadn’t achieved what I have and felt that I have become a much better person than them then maybe I would be more self critical.

However, if you were to ask me the same question in my twenties my lack of confidence and self esteem would definitely have shone through.

I live in fear of disappointing others. It had disastrous consequences when I was a child. I couldn’t win. If I did well, I was politely ignored. If I fucked up, I was treated with scorn—subtle scorn, too. Others might not have noticed, but I grew up in it.

The default state, as far as I’m concerned, is to screw up. I work to avoid scorn, not for praise. Praise is so unaccustomed that it makes me suspect the person is trying to pull something over on me for some reason.

In such an environment, it seems much safer to criticize myself before anyone else can, and to do it very harshly, than to let someone else do it. It’s kind of like an inoculation. Even this is an attempt to inoculate myself. If you know how much I fear it, maybe you will hold back. Although, I can’t win that way, either, since I’ll know you’re holding back, and you aren’t saying what you really think (which is much worse than what you say).

Why do I criticize myself? To keep me from feeling so bad when others do it.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land: I think you’ve got something here with saying if you criticize yourself more harshly then you don’t feel it as deeply from others. It might be a defense to hedge against insecurity more than a pride thing but I am similar in that I’ll also use humor to throw myself under the bus before anyone else has a chance to. It’s late in the game but I do feel better every time I restrain myself from doing this, we all should until it becomes an old and infrequent quirk.

For me it usually starts with all the shoes piled up by the back door…then I begin to question my upbringing, choice of schools and all the days I skipped school as to the reason for all those misplaced shoes. From there is spirals into second guessing my political affiliation and all the votes I cast over the years and all the coupons I never cashed.

Don’t get me started!!

I don’t buy into bullshit excuses, not even my own.

I was always my own worst critic from grade three through high school, university and then graduate school. I knew better than anybody whether I was doing my best and unless I did everything to the highest standard of which I was capable, I would be very tough on myself. I did get through three University degrees with top marks in increasingly challenging courses because I pushed the every living crap out of myself. As a consequence, I struggled with anxiety and periods of depression until I learned that my standards exceeded those of even my toughest professors and until I learned to cope with my own extreme expectations.

Once my children reached the age where they know everything, they took over as my worst critic! Two of them seem to love me despite my many inadequacies and the other has all but given up on me. We’ll see what the future holds between the two of us.

@hungryhungryhortence With me its an old habit since childhood. Open self-deprecation is a way to avoid expressions of rejection. Another trick I’ve used for about as long is to make it very clear that I don’t care if I’m accepted or not. People are less likely to express rejection of someone who doesn’t give a shit. They would rather reject someone who appears to be striving for acceptance. The self-taught coping skills of an autistic kid who wasn’t diagnosed until almost 50.

Well, I suppose because I know exactly how full of shit I am. Whereas everyone else only has a rough idea. So it’s best for me to let myself know.

I’m only my worst critic/enemy when it comes to my cooking and occasionally my appearance. I hate the way my food tastes even when others say “it’s awesome”, I make them find some sort of problem with it.

I have a good self esteem but I am humble about it.

I know myself better than you (do). Besides, criticism begins with the self Before directed at others…. ;)