What I especially love about fluther - and have come to take for granted already. Do you feel this way, too? Details inside.

That was lovely and clear.

But I do hold grudges. My main gripe is homophobia. I track that and will not help people that are homophobic. And I do keep a list.

@Zen_Again I think you have captured my feelings exactly. And that is exactly what makes Fluther, well, Fluther. We can disagree but at the same time understand that everyone has their own opinion and we have to respect it. Thats why I love this site so much. Great question by the way. :)

I hold grudges. If someone is consistently stupid, I will wait until he or she directs an answer to me, then go for the jugular.

Other than those really ignorant users, I don’t have issue with converse opinion, not in the slightest.

I completely agree.

I don’t hold grudges and don’t have the time to make lists – but I’ll be more than happy to rip you a new one if you’re an asshole.

i’m gettin’ tired of all you queers tearin’ up my asshole.

@Zen_Again- Great question. This phenomenon hasn’t escaped me. I have thought about this exact thing many times and I believe it is one of Fluther’s many strengths.

Now f*** all of you. See ya on another thread. ;)

@AstroChuck On another thread, you’ll still be six. And that’s why we love you. Just as A A Milne wrote: Now I am six, I’m as clever as clever – so I think I’ll be six now, for ever and ever.

Haven’t found any long-lost cousins yet, but I sure do enjoy being in the company of my fellow Flutherites and Flutherettes

I agree with @Zen_Again on this topic however I was upset the other day when I was asked when was the last time I flew a kite. I didn’t answer the question because I was mad at Zen_Again. It upsets me because I realized I’m not five anymore and miss my youth. I purposely skipped the question and didn’t answer, but today I came across this one and it fits exactly how I feel. GQ :)

@Chikipi Thanks – however – if you do not use thre ampersand, it’s hard to follow that you are speaking to someone, I caught it by chance because I am watching this thread now, otherwise it would\ve been “lost”.

Use the @ sign – like @Zen_Again – okay?

Edit: I see now that you used it initially, then typed my name later on. Sorry. I don’t see very well.

:-)

@Zen_Again like this? I’m a rookie so I have a few things to learn. :)

But an ampersand is this: &

I have not been around long enough to know much of Fluther’s bad side (I have seen a little) but, being a moderated site, it is nowhere near a free for all, which is something I dislike. I have been on enough unmoderated boards that I just will not bother.

From what I am seeing so far here they are stricter about battleroyals. I have been on other sites that do have moderation but you have to wait for a moderator or they are lax compared to here. I see newcomers complain about the moderation and I am certain, in time, I shall have a bitch about it. However, from what I see so far, I prefer it this way.

As far as myself, I hold a grudge. I will not go after someone and I will speak with them politely if whatever they did was not terrifically obnoxious. However, there are some things that will put someone on my bad side unless they change whatever it is. I will not respond to them no matter what they do.

Being on my bad side means that I cease to see the person. I can see their name and avatar and have absolutely no curiosity about what they have to say.

I’ve seen alot of things on Fluther and one of them is definitely civility and that’s such a welcome and needed aspect on a website like this one. The moderation has always been top notch and the maturity and common sense of Jellies has always been way, way above average in my opinion. There certainly is and continues to be a strong sense of people ‘agreeing to disagree’ as opposed to infighting, hostility, and a breakdown of decorum among members. There’s just no better site than Fluther and I will always sincerely believe that.

@Zen_Again. A very nice question on your part with lots of good information in your details. Kudos to you.

@Chikipi Yes – exactly, and sometimes it’s good to do it in the middle of a sentence, like this @Chikipi for the old fogies like me. This will grab my attention – remember: sometimes you come to a thread after a day or more, or sometimes a thread will get really long, and then if you don’t use the @Chikipi then your remarks to someone specific could get lost.

:-)

I know what you are talking about and it’s one of the big reasons I keep coming back.

I can think your opinion is wrong, poorly researched and hypocritical- yet I will respect you. Even if at the time I want to shake the stupid out of you Most people can do the same here and that makes Fluther one in a million.

I may disagree with someone but I don’t believe in investing emotional energy into avoiding or hating someone else. I just don’t have the energy for it these days. Who knows, we may agree on something in the next question asked.

@ccrow You are right! My typo: I meant asperand. An ampersand is indeed the & sign. I meant the “at” sign, sometimes called the asperand.

I have actively worked to support civility here. I’ve done it in other places, too. Part of that is reigning in my propensity to get carried away. I do that by avoiding questions where I know I’ll have difference of opinion with someone else, and it will go nowhere. If I do decide to participate in something controversial, it will be because I want to find out what makes other people hold the opinions they do; not because I want a fruitless argument with them.

I think the moderators support this, and serve as a form of trainer by giving people real-time feedback on how they went wrong. I have tried not to run afoul of them, as much as I can.

However, there are times when I find that I truly do not like someone. It is mostly because I think they do not follow the fluther way, yet they don’t do anything to get moderated, either. Sometimes, when I am on the same question as one such person, I lose it, and start identifying the things about his or her character that I find offensive and unflutherlike.

I hate doing that, because I know they will get defensive, and there’s really no point. Nothing will change. But I guess there is a time and a place to tell someone you don’t like what they do. Even if there is no such time or place, sometimes I lose it, and later I am chagrined, but it’s out there for all to see.

aye, this is a great site.

better than other moderated and unmoderated sites ive been on (cough cough 4chan)

@daloon I, lurve you – very much my friend. Thanks for being one of my first friends here, and taking the time to talk to me and explain things behind the scenes, expecially as we’re alike in many ways – thus encountering the same kinds of situations when we’re on the manic side of the b-polarism. Well, I do, anyway – I won’t speak for you.

@Zen

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Just kidding. I think you perfectly expressed what makes Fluther so unique.

But I can also understand why some decide to leave. It takes a certain maturity level to be able to disagree without being disagreeable.

Some prefer the fireworks and excessive childish drama of temper tantrums on an unmoderated site. So there are plenty of places for them to find them but for the rest of us there is Fluther.

@Buttonstc LOLed.

I have a hard time remembering names unless the person is on my friends list or they went out of their way to be insulting. Then again some people I will just plain ignore because I may notice they repeatly offer immature remarks.

I do really enjoy Fluther, and it has its unique streak, that’s for sure.
However, the relationships which you describe with people who’ve had spats and then go on the next day civilly I don’t find that it belongs to Fluther uniquely.

I’ve seen this happen on many, many places. The strict moderation here is a great deal responsible for drawing it out more than a lot of other places, but even AB had that going on, and that’s saying a lot, especially in places where there’s next to no active moderation, and people make up, or at least tolerate one another of their own accord.

Ultimately, behaviours on large online communities don’t differ much from one another, besides the intent of the community itself, such as discussion forums, Q&A’s or places like AssBook and FuckSpace, for example.
(On here, intelligence and wisdom is complemented, unlike many other places, but that doesn’t make it all that different from different places where smartassery or sarcasm is complimented instead.)

As for holding grudges on the Internet well meh. People are still people behind our screens, but the communication is much too restricted to consider hating some dude in Norway I’ve never met.

I don’t want to piss off @johnpowell !

@Judi

Yeah. He’s kickin’ *ss and takin’ names !

YIKES!!!

I wouldn’t say that I love Fluther because of this. However, it’s more like… How do I put this.. It’s a characteristic of this site (small collective size means I’ll see the same faces everywhere), and it forces me to recognise everyone’s capacity to answer questions well. I may hold grudges, even if it’s against my will, but when push comes to shove, if an answer really is a GA, I’ll probably grit my teeth and click that button. It’s hard to forgive people who you’ve felt have trod on your feet, but meh, we’re all people. We make mistakes. We all have our menopausal periods. Fluther just forces me to see beyond that, and I guess I have to be thankful for that (curse my grudgy side).

On the side, I think someone remembered a certain question, did he?

The battles do seem less bloody here…
It’s quite peaceful and productive. The fellowship here is unique.

Kind of like being in heaven…after rouge Y!A that is.

I want to tickle Judi.

I know exactly what you mean, but this isn’t unique to Fluther. I’ve experienced this on another Q&A site.

I think this is how it should be – if you are able to discuss a topic with someone, then do so – however it doesn’t matter in the long run – if I’ve pegged you as undesirable, it’ll take a bit more than a nice chit chat for me to change my mind.