(NSFW) Sexual positions better for older women and men?

I think Ièm going to avoif this question before…DAMNIT HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN!
Meh what the hell

Keep switching positions and have fun. You guys will orgasm when you orgasm, enday storee.

But I’m 27 so what do I know. :/

Mental images! Oh dear, lol!

I think on the knees is a bad move because of back issues.

You can get gadgets to halt orgasm in men. When I read the title I thought you guys were in your 70’s so I dont think sex changes that much when you’re in your fiftys (I’ve had male lovers of 50 but I am not 50) and we did all the regular position like normal. Try her on top in a lying down postion for example or sideways is good. Perhaps she needs to get her blood pressure checked to stop that exploding feeling in her head?

Visit the nearest adult store in your area, you’ll be surprised at the different things they have in order to help every sexual being.

Side by side is much more relaxing and free of strain for both people involved.

I highly recommend “The Joy of Sex”. Great accurate drawings for every position described plus lots of other good info.

I realize it’s been around for quite a while but some things just defy time.

I have no experience with 50+ sex, but, see if there are positions that may seem easier for you on sexinfo101.com
How about doggy style? Can you last longer when you wear a condom? What is you masturbate prior to sex?

You might have go for the old sidewinder.
or
You can always just stand while she stays on the bed. Just be sure to wear comfortable shoes.

@Violet – The problem with being on top is that while trying to support your entire body weight on your arms, so you don’t crush your lover, it is difficult to remain relaxed and comfortable – a state conducive to more prolonged love-making.
Doggy Style is the knees problem for my sweetie! It works great for me. If I come before having sex, it requires a very long refractory period – I’m not 18 or even 28. It takes a long time to recharge the batteries after discharge!

@Buttonstc – Side by side may well be the best solution. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

@Just_Justine It’s not her blood pressure, its the intensity of her orgasms that become too much for her. The head exploring is her metaphor. Yes of course sideways will be a big improvement!

@peedub That could work well too. Thank you, Thank you

@Dr_Lawrence that is the same reason I hate being on top! Have you tried doggy half standing? Or on the bed?

@Violet Doggie half standing? I’m not clear on the geometry of that – could be a tricky alignment problem. We have to avoid her supporting herself on her knees -regardless of the softness of the surface. Maybe a bunch of pillows under her abdomen would help?

@Dr_Lawrence It’s doggy style, but no one is on their knees, like this one http://www.sexinfo101.com/pump.shtml or this one
http://www.sexinfo101.com/standingdoggy.shtml
You can also have he hold herself up using a bed, couch, or wall.

@Violet – excellent suggestions and helpful links too!!

It is an enduring characteristic of youth that they can’t imagine that they will ever age. I think perhaps they don’t like to hear about people our age making love because it reminds them of their ambiguous feelings toward mom and dad, but for one thing, that’s no reason for them to get nasty; for another, they will be astounded how soon they develop creaky knees and aching hips. Thanks for taking the chance of being vilified, @Dr_Lawrence, and for your honesty.

@pdworkin Thanks for your thoughtful input.

I figured that this environment is safe enough to ask an honest question and get sincere and helpful answers. The question was labeled well enough for those threatened by the topic to bypass it. Some could not resist mocking – which refers to the points you raised.

@pdworkin Not all of us view it that way. I find it quite inspiring that Dr_Lawrence has been married for so long. That’s rare and more than a bit special. As for the more private part of that marriage, the question was marked properly, so I’ll keep my nose out of it.

I think Fluther should create an adult section for these types of questions, so they don’t show up on the main page.

@HumourMe In the Guidelines, it says “NSFW (Not Safe For Work) content…is okay as long as it’s not on the front page and you mark it as NSFW.” Do you know what the guidelines are referring to when its says ‘not on the front page’?

@Spinel What exactly is the front page? As soon as I click on the Fluther website the first page that appears, the NSFW question is there.

@Dr_Lawrence I’m sorry some people answered in a negative way, to me it was a simple question about sex, I am not so sure why people react to those questions in unpredictable ways. I hope you focus on the good answers instead and ignore the uptight answers I hope you keep on asking questions too

@HumourMe That’s a good question. I was hoping you would know. :S….:)

My best guess is that it refers to the homepage.

@Spinel But my home page shows the NSFW questions so the Fluther guidelines for this must be wrong. They say as long as they aren’t on the front page but you say the front page is the home page, so why can I see these types of questions?

@HumourMe Here is a site with no disturbing questions about normative human sexual activity. Perhaps you would prefer it to Fluther, where a number of us have reached the age of majority.

There was no explicit content where the NSFW warning appeared. Only those who clicked through beyond a fairly generic question, were asked the more specific questions and exposed by your own choice to the mature content.

Is that not how the guidelines intended us to frame such questions?

Anyone not mature enough to decide whether they want to read the specific details of a topic should not be on Fluther.

This a not a website for little children. We have safeguards in place so that those uninterested in participating in the discussion of mature topics can skip right over them.

This is safer than the internet as a whole!

@pdworkin Woah woah woah hang on a sec! I never said I was against these questions I just thought it would be okay to have an adult section, just an idea people. Yeesh, I didn’t expect such a backlash.

@HumourMe Dunno. I’m out of info. You might want to contact the Fluther’s staff about the vague “front page” issue.

@Spinel It’s okay I just wasn’t sure what they meant by front page, because I can still see the questions there. I don’t know why I’m getting attacked here. @Dr_Lawrence I was just suggesting an idea, not in a spiteful way.

I am not opposed to an opt-in adult section to __protect those__ who cannot resist choosing to read detailed questions properly labeled as pertaining to mature content.

I think it is interesting that with all the resources available on the internet and in the library you ask a group of mostly young people how old people can have sex?? I think I would have joined a senior citizen group in yahoo and asked them.

Actually I am surprised you didn’t get a lot more smart ass answers. I am an old fart too but even I am tempted to be flip. It’s like way TMI for me. I just don’t need to know all those details.

If you object to the question, and can’t, or won’t provide a helpful answer, why not STFU and let the people who wish to respond do so. What’s in it for you to attack the questioner? Is it self-loathing, by any chance?

Yep you got it, I loathe myself! hehehehe

I gave a legitimate response, why don’t you mind your own business, you have become a real mother fluther telling people what is allowed and what isn’t. I see you doing it all the time.

I have noted that there are some fairly astute and experienced people older than you might think frequent fluther as well as some younger people. Some excellent answers from some of the younger adults were greatly appreciated as well. I could have trimmed some content from my question to protect those of you who were overwhelmed by some of the details.
OR
You could have not clicked through to the detailed question once you knew what the topic was.

We have tens of questions a day addressed to sexual juvenalia, and people continue to answer them helpfully no matter how repetitive or idiotic they may be. Suddenly when an adult asks a serious, gentle question about mature sexuality there is a huge kerfuffle. You may attack me all you wish, @rooeytoo. it merely confirms my opinion that you find something about this uncomfortable. Otherwise you would be unlikely to misbehave.

@rooeytoo Perhaps we need to stick to the important questions of adult life such as yours of a few months ago, ”Does your nose itch when you floss?”
Of course that could be asked at sesamestreet.org!

I know you almost have an undergraduate degree and are therefore an expert in diagnosing my self loathing based on answers in Fluther so I completely agree again.

I simply thought it is a funny venue for an old person to ask about senior sex and I still do. I also get a kick out of you feeling the need to be the mother fluther. I am not attacking, I am enjoying and so grateful for your free diagnosis.

Hehehehe, does your nose itch too???

I don’t need to mother anybody. I just feel free to mention it when I encounter aggressive stupidity.

You are a self appointed mod, you mod more than the mods do. If it makes you feel good go for it, I’ll just keep on chuckling.

Now to keep this on topic, I would suggest your wife gets some volleyball knee pads, perhaps that would ease the discomfort. I think asics makes them with gel in the plastic cap, that should really disperse the pressure.

I was born in 1954 and on my last birthday I was 55. So I am not an “old person” and neither is my wife. The topic was adult sexuality among somewhat older adults. I feel that I have more in common among this demographic than I have with most seniors aged 65 to 100.

Perhaps sports equipment might be part of your sex life, but I don’t see your suggestion as realistic. Feel free to climb into your bed with soccer cleats on if that suits you and your beloved. I promise I won’t make fun of you if you tell us that you do!

@rooeytoo 50 is not old! That is why I answered the question, I thought it was coming from a much more mature aged source. 50 is young! and yes people of 50 have sex (shock horror aghast!) so any question from any age is relevant. And if it isn’t then we must all just google yahoo right?

Look into a sex swing. It is a harness that hangs from the ceiling, the rider can face many directions and the height is adjustable. everything should fit together nice and easy regardless of height, or any other differences. It will open up a new range of positions, and you can enjoy all of the old ones without any pressure on her knees.

@Capt_Bloth Thank you for a well thought out and clearly explained suggestion that has merit. It may benefit other couples as well who for various reasons need a bit of a lift!

ummm..very interesting question or statement! Whatever works, is my motto! That would be at any age. There are people that are young with handicaps and they make it work. Bottomline, it is about two people showing their love for each other. It is not a contest to see how many positions you can accomplish…it is all about feelings for the other person.

I’ll try to read over most of the rest of the thread later, so this may have already been mentioned. But I’m as lazy as I am inventive, so, even when I was young I enjoyed experimenting with positions that let us relax more and require less strength and endurance.

So, doing only “original” research and my own field work, my wife and I “discovered” the joy of an “interlocking scissors” position. Imagine each of you being a pair of scissors, with your legs as the blades. Now imagine the scissors being introduced to each other (lying in a bed, of course), “blades to blades”. There’s still a lot of variation available, but that’s the start. Since you’re both more or less reclining, you can take your time.

How about her on top after she comes from oral sex? Would that work better for you in terms of time and her in terms of hip/knee problems?

(And kudos for asking the question!)

Hmm, I seem to be arriving late to this discussion… positions I might have suggested have already been mentioned by others. An interesting read, though. I have some knee issues but they’re not bad enough yet to interfere. I do find it interesting, as has been mentioned, that generally the similar type questions asked by people under, say, 25, are treated thoughtfully, but people seem to think this one is inappropriate, somehow.
(picks up bullhorn)I’m over 50!! Some pieces/parts don’t work so well anymore! And yet I still have(& enjoy)sex!!! :-)

Again, one of our fellow flutherers has asked an honest & sincere question. There was nothing XXX about it. I’ve seen tasteless & slutty questions on here & that seems to be just fine. Dr_Lawrence came here asking advise, not wanting to get ridicule from people. If you don’t like the topic, MOVE ON. Don’t even open it. Don’t bitch & moan about it. No one MADE you read this question.

I totally agree with PD & DL. I am of their age, & this can be a concern. My hips can’t take what they used to 20 years ago.

Dr_Lawrence, I hope you find a solution that works for both of you.

I only have one comment: the question was an honest question and a person seeking advice. remember, this is not Answerbag. the people on Fluther are a step above that other site, so lets all act like we belong here.

I’m sure you’ve tried this, but the first thing I thought was putting you in an upright position (like sitting on a couch) and your wife on top with her legs wrapped around, maybe leaning back a little. She could prop herself up with her arms or pillows if needed.

Absolutely extraordinary. So to clarify. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask what are essentially strangers, their opinions on ones’ sex life. In what I might add unecessarily explicit detail. I have that right don’t I? Okay moving on to the ridiculous notion that any right minded person finds that let’s just say unappetising, is therefore immature & unable to comprehend “us adults”. Would you discuss such private matters in a restaraunt for example or any other public place. With the knowledge that anyone may hear & quite rightly disapprove. I’m loving the duality of my fellow man.

@ucme But this ISN’T a public restaurant. He’s among friends here & obviously feels comfortable in asking us for help. That says something about this community of friends. As I said before, if you don’t want to venture into this area, don’t open the question! And if you do open it & don’t like what you see, go on to a cake baking question. But don’t poo-poo a question where honest answers are appreciated.

@jbfletcherfan Ahh cakes. Not for me that confectionary delight. Like my youthful trimness don’t you know. I love the term poo poo, so good they named it twice.

ummm..interesting discussion! What is offensive to one person may not be offensive to another. Think you both have a good point, JBfletcherfan and so does Ucme! Personally, did not bother me, but each his own. Not going to attack either answer…JB’s or Ucme! All in the “eyes of the beholder!”

You can get special furniture to help I think I just did a quick search but couldn’t for long as daughter is in the house! They are like a special sofa/beanbag/cousion type thing. It’s worth researching I can imagine them being very comfortable, also there are special hammocks I think! I’m no expert but it may help?

@Cotton101 A sober judgement in a sea of misguided aggression, Either that or take the splinter out of your bum~ Good one bud!

I have no idea why people got all up in arms about this question – the details helped me understand exactly what the issue is (which is what they’re supposed to do) and the question is a brave one (given and clearly exemplified by the above knee-jerk reaction of many) because people are unable to talk about what happens quite often (for the lucky of us) in our own damn bedrooms (nothing that was discussed was out of the ‘ordinary’ whatever that may be).

to the OP:
I think it’s wonderful that you’re having sex and loving it despite the fact that your aging bodies are giving your certain barriers – it’s an inspiration.

@ucme Job well done. You made me laugh. :D

@jbfletcherfan Well that’s what i’m here for, well that & my dazzling repetoire of diplomatic tactics online.I’m glad you laughed it’s good for the soul you know!

Just to clarify, none of us actually said this question was “disgusting”, “offensive” or “tasteless”. Nor did they answer in an “aggressive”, “hateful”, “bitching”, “ridiculing” and “moaning” way.

So all those people who are saying that we should grow up, go to another site, involve ourselves in more child oriented questions that we can handle and get over it, well I’m sorry but you’re actually defending something that you have made up.

Just because some of us don’t particularly enjoy reading the detailed sexual life of a 50-something year old doesn’t automatically make us immature, disrespectful , over reacting bunch of kids that can’t handle adult topics.

@HumourMe I don’t think anyone has called you an immature, disrespectful, over reacting kid – truisms must work both ways.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You didn’t read what I wrote properly. Of course no one called me that. I was just quoting what people have been saying about those of us who have reservations about this question.

lololol never thought sex and age could cause nuclear war far too funny

@Just_Justine Well they’d probably fallout of bed anyway.

Just because some of us don’t particularly enjoy reading the detailed sexual life of a 50-something year old

I’ll say it. I think it makes you a whiny, immature, disrespecting, over reacting ageist baby.

—@pdworkin I wish they’d remove the nasty comments, someone said there were none?? I cant be bothered to scroll back but some said something like nasty old age sex, gosh, I can’t believe how narrow minded and stupid people are about life. If I had asked this question and gotten this response I would be traumatized. Some people are so judgemental and ignorant. I don’t think I will come back here.—

ummmm..hate to repeat an answer, but it would be applicable here!

What is offensive to one person may not be offensive to another. All in the “eyes of the beholder!” The question was not offensive to me, but respect the answers of those who were offended.

So, regardless of our answers, we should respect the answer! If you want to disagree, cool…but, personally, like to be respectful in my disagreement.

@Dr_Lawrence, I have also always enjoyed a position where the woman lies on her back, with one leg raised, and I’m on my side under that raised leg, and with one of mine over her reclining leg. Once you’re both in position, you can both relax (she doesn’t have to hold her leg up in the air) and take your time again.

And as for whether or not the Q belongs here, and suggestions about how to improve Fluther by alternate flagging and segregating Qs, adding an Adult section, etc.—I’m surprised the Mods didn’t step in to suggest that those comments don’t belong in this thread—valid for discussion though they may be.

I don’t know why I bother…

good, maybe you’ll stop

Okay fine is this what you want to hear?

Great question Dr_Lawrence!! I would be delighted to help you find some more comfortable ways to f*ck your wife. It’s a totally normal, mature question, because EVERYONE enjoys sex, it’s great you’re so honest about your sex life and telling us exactly how you cum!

Now that you’ve asked such an awesome question I hope it can open up more people to divulging their problems in the bedroom! Well done!!! Who cares if Fluther turns into the very classy, sexually devoted Answerbag or Yahoo!Answers. The point is you have the right to ask whatever question you want! Everyone else who doesn’t like it can grow up or piss off!!

Happy now?

@HumourMe Too much coffee this morning, hon?

OK, here’s a coupla general questions for all who complain about reading, in detail, about over-50s sex:
Why do you think it’s labeled NSFW?
Did you think it was going to be something juicy & now you’re bitterly disappointed?
If you discovered you didn’t like reading it, why didn’t you stop?

@pdworkin Hahahahaha good one…“too much coffee” Freakin’ hilarious…~

@HumourMe This is a question/answer site. It exists to help people in many areas of life. Sex being one of them. If you don’t like the question, don’t engage.

@HumourMe THAT’S the point! IF you don’t like these kinds of questions, WHY are you here on this one? Just read the headline & go on!

Fine, just don’t ask your questions so explicitly. Like this:

“I have less control to hold back from coming”
“She loves for me to eat her”
“She feel like her head will explode”
“She wants me inside her”
“She comes hard”

I feel sorry for the kids who come across questions like these.

@ccrow You came way too late lost interest now got a headache, juicy well fruity at least.

anyone get the feeling most of the answers are from people under the age of 50! lol cool, just observation!

@HumourMe Let them bang on. Yawny poos!!

fruity?? :-s

@HumourMe None of that is inappropriate, especially since it is labeled NSFW. It’s not like it was titled “What can I get my 7 year old nephew for his birthday,” then BAM! a spattering of profanity and x-rated material. If a kid comes across this, then that’s because of parenting (good or bad, it’s really subjective and for each family to decide). It is not up to each Fluther user to censor him/herself for the sake of children.

@ccrow By gum keep up!

Sorry!! lol

@ubersiren But they could have a little decency and self-respect to not ask such a sexually explicit question, not on Fluther anyway. You want tips how to fuck better, go read a porn magazine.

@HumourMe do you know of any geared for arthritic over-50s?? If so, please enlighten those of us who could benefit!

@HumourMe everyone has a different perspective…agree with Ccrow!

Oh here comes pdworkin’s response I’m so excited. What’s it going to be now? Another personal attack maybe?

@HumourMe The longer you go on about this, the more you reveal your own insecurities and neuroses. Maybe you should quit while you’re ahead. I’m glad that among the oldsters the excitement is sexual, too, although whatever floats your boat. I don’t mind exciting you.

@HumourMe I’m disagreeing that it’s explicit. You’re the one using words like fuck and porn. And did you just suggest that a kid would be better off watching porn than reading that a man’s wife enjoys oral sex?

Oh, a response from @HumourMe ! I’m not the least bit excited.

@ubersiren I said sexually explicit not verbally explicit. On your second point I have no idea what you mean. Please don’t put words in my mouth.

@HumourMe You suggested that if you want “tips on how to fuck better” to go get porn rather than go to fluther. GASP! What if a kid read that!

Also, “fuck” is a pretty sexually explicit term, and also verbally.

Well my Daddy’s bigger than your Daddy, oops… perhaps the wrong thing to say!

@HumourMe, why didn’t you complain about this, this, or this, while you’re at it? Did you think this was the first explicitly wrded question ever asked on here?

@ubersiren At least with a porn magazine you’re not asking anyone to help you have sex. Where as asking a question on Fluther clearly is.

Where’s @GailCalled when you need her?

@HumourMe Go to the Fluther.com homepage. Look in the right hand column under “Topics.” Sex is one of those topics. If you don’t like this, take it up with the creators/moderators. Stop whining about it to those of us who don’t see anything wrong with it. You’re coming off as a senseless prude.

What’s wrong with being prude? I see it as a quality considering the over-sexed society we live in today.

I am so pissed off that this question has degenerated to this. It was labeled clearly, the OP had a sincere interest in getting some help, there have been a million questions by teeny-boppers on “How can I get him back?” and people are objecting to this. I really think it is an ageist thing; many of you don’t like to idea of us having sex and wanting help with it. If you don’t like the water, get out of the pool!

@HumourMe Nothing, in itself. However, your prude agenda is being pushed where it is not welcome.

Gee I didn’t know self-respect, dignity and standards weren’t allowed here.

Wtf?

ROFL!

I recommend spooning, though it isn’t on top, it’s quite easy.

No, don’t do that. Just stick to the topics you’re comfortable with and let the moderators do their jobs and you can enjoy a full life of Fluthering. Many have recovered from worse.

@HumourMe decency is a subjective concept – one might even consider it a decent thing to stop spouting off while you’re ahead – this is not a forum for you to express about how you’re a prude and you like totally love it in this oversexed society…and really, why do you keep talking about porn magazines? do you even know what’s written in one…the answer to this question is not what’s written in them…

Maybe the 69? That’s when you both are giving/receiving oral sex at the same time. More info
Yes I do realize that we’re talking about mostly fornication here, but this can be used to spice things up a little
Edit: You may enjoy the missionary

[Mod says:] This question is clearly labeled NSFW and so conforms with the Fluther Guidelines. Further off topic posts will be removed.

@HumourMe For the 3rd time…if you’re so offended by this topic. why are you still here? Click the “stop following” button & go to another question. It’s that simple.

I suppose a slow comfortable screw on a fleece blanket with your slippers on would be one idea~ Followed by a good book & a spot of tea. I’m on topic leave it, come on you’re overworked as it is. Put your feet up. Nothing to mod hear.

@Dr_Lawrence you’re welcome. A friend found that site for me a bit ago, and I use it all the time as a reference for sex topic

@Dr_Lawrence hey, if you need any advise about s e x, here is MsV’s number!!!! she is an expert…LOLL..just kidding! We ABers love MsV!

Thanks to all of you who were respectful enough to try to answer an honest question.
For those who chose to be offended and yet stayed in the fray you have gotten tougher feedback than I received.
For those who were offended and did not participate, I truly regret offending your sensibilities.
Thanks to the moderators for your patience and for clarifying where the question falls within the guidelines.
The aches and pains that come with age do not need to disqualify us from life.

@Dr_Lawrence This is true. When you’re with a loving, willing person, you’ll find a way.

I guess I must be a young 60, because the 18-year-old twin Romanian acrobats never seem to complain.

@pdworkin LMAO…...........

@pdworkin LOLLLLLL…good for you! :D

(Hi, Cotton…..)

@pd

While the Romanian acrobats may not have any complaints, I’m sure you’re girlfriend may have a few things to say about your extracurricular exploits :D

(I’m just busting your chops. I knew you’re just going for a laugh.)

@jbfletcherfan hello my friend…going to watch the game…TCU or Boise State…going with Boise State

@Cotton101 Well then….Go Boise!

I’m celebrating a little. I have jury duty for the month & I just found out that I don’t have to go this week. YEAAA!!!

@jbfletcherfan loll…can relate with that comment…

go skinny-dipping!!

it’s amazing how lovely our natural buoyancy is when it comes to lovemaking