What do do about a shy guy?
Asked by
Spinel (
3220
)
January 4th, 2010
A guy I really admire is quite reserved – painfully reserved. It seems odd to me because he is a fantastic (and aggressive) athlete and is known for his excellent character.
We are aware of each other, but neither of us has really made a move. He has attempted to have a serious talk with me before, but blushed and lost his nerve. When around him, I feel awkward – he gets bashful so easily.
I feel he is a really good catch – smart, attractive, fun, good reputation, good habits…one of the few guys my age that happens to be taller than me. He is also one of the few people I can have a deeper, intellectual discussion with (that is, when he’s not blushing and stuttering).
To make the the situation more difficult, he has about four other girls chasing him, so its hard to find time alone. Also, I have a dominate personality so its tempting make the move (even though my gut instinct says that would be disastrous).
What do do, oh what to do?
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12 Answers
Keep bugging him until he tells you to fuck off.
By then, he’ll have overcome his shyness.
At that point it’s bangarang, man. :)
Stop being so nice to him. Start teasing. Playful insults will give you the advantage. ;)
(smile though! don’t embarrass him seriously. make sure he knows you’re kidding)
Jump on him.
Then press the “B” button to lift him up. Press it again to throw him at a Bob-omb!
/nerd humor
Smile when you see him.
Ask him non-threatening questions to start a conversation.
Make gentle non threatening contact with him when you talk to him, e.g. touch his arm or hand.
Find a way to share a laugh.
Its not something that will fix overnight. The best thing to do is to draw him out slowly. Get him involved in activities that may require him to talk and interact with other people. It will take some time, but sooner or later – he’ll come out of his shell =)
It’s possible he WANTS you (or A.N.other) to make the first move?
Send him an anonymous love note, but sign it!!
Be direct, Ask him, sit and have a “do you think we could maybe go out” type conversation.
Instead of giving him hints, give it to him in plain english. “I like you, you like me, we could make beautiful music together, what? you cant read music? you dont know guitar? Oh, have you got a brother…...?” :0)
I’m a shy guy. I love it when the other person makes the first move.
@johnpowell me too, as long as it’s not too aggressive…it just doesn’t happen enough!!
@Spinel – Don’t get too carried away, dooshing him on the head with a big stick and dragging him into the cave may not go down terribly well….......
As a former shy guy I would advise strongly against @ninjacolin‘s suggestion. Don’t be afraid to make the first move, give really strong hints, take chances. Do what @scotsbloke says.
I’ve been asked out by a girl before and it was anything but disasterous. I’m sure he would be relieved if you made the first move. Plus you might gain some respect for the next person to build up the courage to ask you out.
I picked up my shy guy like a six pack and carried him off to my cave. He married me a few months later and we have been very happy for 31 years. It’s worth noting, that I was very shy too, but I wanted him so I took him. Felt need motivates.
@Silhouette My lady had to do the same with me. Thank Bog for assertive ladies!
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