What did you do when your little kid wanted to quit his extra-curricular activity?

My mom kind of forced me to take piano and other stuff. I know people who hated it at first, but now love it a lot. I’m not taking piano anymore but, I’m glad I went as far as I did. Now I know how to play it. =D

I do not have children, but was one of those children who didn’t want to practice. My mother told me if I didn’t practice, I couldn’t continue with lessons and the school band. So, I didn’t continue. As I look back, I wish I had continued. My mom didn’t push because, frankly, I was kid #5 and she was tired!

I think that if I had children I would insist that they go through the school year. (Or, if it’s a sport, they need to finish the season.) Then, you can look at it again in September to determine their interest level.

I really don’t see the problem.
I actually have practised playing the guitar as a kid. Fast-forward about one decade, and my guitar just hangs there gathering dust.
Maybe your kid is like me and he won’t regret it at all.

I’d make sure they really wanted to, and weren’t just disgruntled at the moment. I’d never force my kids to do anything, but on the other hand, I don’t want them to think that “giving up” is the best thing to do. I’d have them do whatever at least two more times, and then if they still wanted to give it up I’d let them.

I would ask why they have changed their mind. It could be they don’t like the teacher, the people they took classes with or they don’t like that particular instrument. I tried five instruments before deciding to focus on my voice. It’s more than twenty years later and I’m still singing!

It would be quite unfortunate, in my opinion, if the kid quit. I never really enjoyed my music lessons as a kid, but now I am more musical than ever and I am so appreciative of my musical background. I say don’t give them the choice. I had my chore wheel as a kid which included all undesirable things from emptying the cat box to homework, and practicing my instruments was on it (I got stickers for accomplishing these things).

Even if it is considered a chore, musical education is so important, and generally boosts the kid’s creative side. Telling them they’ll regret it later is too much for a kid to understand, but wait till that kid grows up and he/she will appreciate it. You can even explain the science of synaptic pruning to the kid to tell them that youth is the best time to learn anything, that his/her brain will actually lose the ability to pick skills up and it will be way harder to learn as an adult.

I know so many people who regret not having learned an instrument or been musical as a kid and none who regret having learned one.

I always told my kids when they start something that they have to “finish the season”. If it was a club or after school activity then they would finish out the year, then decide whether or not to continue on the next year. Same with piano, dance, scouts or a sport.
They were not allowed to quit in the middle of it, unless there was extenuating circumstances like illness or something else quite serious.
@tedibear39 not bad for a a non-parent :-)

@wilma Really good answer….

I’m not there yet, so I don’t know what I’ll do. When I was in Boy Scouts I was being bullied by a couple of older scouts and wanted to quit, but my dad wouldn’t let me. I’m an Eagle Scout now. Thanks dad.

On the other hand, I took violin for about a year when I was ten, but the positioning was so painful for me that I quit. My parents didn’t say boo about it. Then again, the violin had been bought for my sister so they weren’t out any money on it. I took trumpet later and loved it and stuck with it for six years.

I reasoned that I hate to keep on at something I don’t want to do so I wasn’t too pushy. If I had paid for a season of something that they begged for I was a little argumentative.

I wasn’t made to continue piano after a year of lessons, but I absolutely hated it so I’m not sad I stopped. I don’t think I ever could have been good at it – just had no talent for it whatsoever. I didn’t need to be badgered to keep singing in various singing groups, so I did have a musical education and know how to read music etc. I sort of wish I’d learned to play the guitar, since that wasn’t offered to me as a child and I think it’d be a good instrument for me. I could always teach myself now I suppose. :)

If my child wanted to quit music lessons, I’d ask if there was any other instrument they’d prefer. If they were hell-bent against learning an instrument I wouldn’t force them, but I’d certainly try to convince them to either sing or play something to the point of basic competence.

I am forced to do piano because I’m kind of good. I taught myself to play some Christmas music when I was 5 or 6 and ever since, my mom has forced me to take lessons. I’m not really into it any more. I just don’t find it fun.

@sliceswiththings Yu wrote: I say don’t give them the choice. I had my chore wheel as a kid which included all undesirable things from emptying the cat box to homework, and practicing my instruments was on it (I got stickers for accomplishing these things).

Very interesting. Thanks.

I have only had one experience so far – I signed my 3 year old up for dance and music lessons. After the first day of lessons, he said he didn’t want to go anymore. I told him that I want him to give it another 3 chances and that if after that he still tells me he doesn’t like it, we will stop. He told me he didn’t like it, told me reasons for not liking it so we stopped. Next month the entire family and I are going to do 10 weeks of Music Together classes and I think he’ll like them more because I’ll be there with him.

It depends. Parents often choose activities without input from the kid, and in that situation it sucks to make them keep going. If the kid chooses an activity, that’s a different story. A lot of the people I grew up with had to play musical instruments for years and they hated it, but now they’re really talented. I wish my parents had signed me up for some kind of instrument

Well, at age 15 I wanted to quit piano lessons. My parents said, fine, but you have to tell your teacher yourself. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to disappoint my teacher, a wonderful elderly lady. So I stayed. I used the same tactics with my two kids. It worked.

Thanks buddy @matt
Thanks everyone.