Any good suggestions on getting over someone you had it bad for?

The five stages of grief are real, and they’ll take their course. You might not really get that until you reach depression, but it’s true.

This is something I have a good bit of experience with, but not yet any advice. You can check out some of my old questions… 1 2 3

Time.
A lot of it.

I’m sorry you broke up .. but it’s better to find out before you’re married and have kids that it wasn’t working. It’s sad for sure .. but think of it as a new beginning—not an end. Concentrate on making yourself happy. Go out with friends—keep busy—enjoy yourself!

It is not something you can get over that easily. First, allow yourself to grieve and feel your very real pain.

Then, as time passes, go out in the world again. Start doing things with girlfriends. Start going out in groups.

Gradually, when you feel ready, you will meet someone and date again.

You just have to give yourself some time to feel better. You must have had a good reason for breaking up with him, and in time you’ll feel relieved that you did the right thing. Having a sense of freedom as a single person is a lot better than being in the wrong relationship.

go out there into the world and show the guy what hes missing, give someone better the chance to know you, though it might seem hard at this stage, you will get over him eventually ^-^

I hate to be that guy, but you never really do. It’ll always be there, haunting you.

You have to tell us more. there had to be events leading up to his airplane flight away from you so suddenly. what happened?

I was going to say get as far away from him as possible but he already did that for you so that is actually going to make things easier for you. Also, I would suggest for you to start hanging out more with your close friends. It is important for you to be close to your loved ones and know that they are there for you. I once broke up with a boyfriend of 3 years and let me tell you it wasn’t pretty, but now that I look at it 4 years later I can tell you I’m much happier now than I was then. Just be strong and know that better things will come of this. Good luck!

I’m sorry for your loss.Get involved in activities to keep your mind busy, so you don’t dwell on it. Find a new hobby, do some volunteer work, work harder at your job, which will make your boss happy and could lead to a better work environment. Be sure to set some personal time during the day to allow yourself to experience a safe amount of feeling sad.

I agree with everyone else: time is the cure. specifically, spent not dwelling on him. think about what you have not about what you lost.

@J0E I agree.

Also, hobbies are fantastic.

wow… that’s such a painful thing to go through… but not too worry, time moves on, your feelings will move on… maybe he’s so messed up inside at the moment when he figures out what’s important to him he will return to talk things over… but don’t waste your time thinking about it! Just keep yourself busy until your emotions are healed

Time, time, time. It could take years, too.

In the meantime, try to keep busy. Volunteer. Spend as much time with friends as you can. Throw yourself into whatever it is you do.

But in the end, it will seem like the only thing on your mind for ages. It hurts so much. I know. I’ve been there far too often. Oh. Look out for depression, too. If it seems like you are really down for a while (and especially if you start thinking about suicide), then get to a doctor or a psychiatrist as fast as you can. There are meds that can help deal with that aspect of grief.

Grief is normal, but sometimes it can be too much. Deciding when it is bearable and will go away, and when it is unbearable and could be permanent is difficult. That’s why you see a doctor.

Exercise. If you do some good solid aerobic exercise it will help you with the stress and depression that is most assuredly a part of your day. A good raging bonfire of personal artifacts of the relationship is very therapeutic and paves the way for a faster recovery!

The separation pain for me always was the worst the first 30 days. Every time you remember, it can extend it. There is an agitation component.

Depression is common.

Remember the secret of depression. It involves a sense of inescapable discomfort or hopelessness.

While reunification with the individual who is hurting you maybe hopeless, definitely there will be others in your life, likely better, if this has been a learning experience.

Being in love is not denied your future. Denying this person who hurt you in the future would be likely a good idea (in the general case)

Every-time you reunite, you will have to through this again. Get it over once, and try again with someone different next time, hopefully at better odds.

Time heals all wounds, replace the love you had for him with God and he will heal all your pain. I have had one horrible heartbreak in my life and it’s never happened again I’ll tell you that!

@Erica_Rachelle Your plan does not work for everyone. I have tried it and found it woefully wanting. Putting my life in the hands of a mythical story did nothing for me.

@ john65pennington Here’s more details…. he’s an alcoholic, he slipped up and got drunk and when he’s drunk he’s angry drunk. He hit me and gave me a black eye and it was Christmas so my whole family knew and everything. i know it’s not okay what he did…. but does one messed up night warrent giving up on a 5 year relationship?

i’ve been trying to keep busy… lots of cleaning. I’m trying to sort through what he left here and throw away some stuff and put the rest in a box and put it away so i don’t have to look at all this stuff that reminds me of him

@sunshinedust

You may not think so now, but count your lucky stars that he left. It sounds as if you wouldn’t have had him go. Being drunk is NO excuse for that kind of abuse. I, for one, am glad the bum is gone. You can do better.