How should a strippers daughter act?

a good, swift kick in the pants. same for the mother.

This girl needs therapy. She is understandably angry and frightened inside. Who knows, she may well have been abused.

@john65pennington, Just a quick question, how would you feel if your mother was a stripper and you went through what this young lady did? Angry maybe?

There needs to be some sort of intervention. This girl is screaming out in need. She needs counseling and maybe some sort of treatment. She does not need to be arrested.

If I may add another comment….............Do you think the child should be removed from the household. I am sitting here thinking what a sad thing that must be. She needs love!!!!

The daughter, I think, needs to be treated on her own merits (or lack thereof), whether her mother is a stripper, a cashier, or a CEO. There’s nothing that says a stripper doesn’t love, or must abuse her child – in fact, I know a stripper who did it because that provided more money for her family than any other job she could get, and she’d rather do that than not have money for the kids’ needs. (The only thing we know about this mom is she’s a stripper – we don’t know if she’s a crackhead stripper or a stripper putting herself through college to make a better life.)

I understand her anger. i know her daughter well. the mother grew up three houses down from me and my wife and i have known her since she was 8 years old. how she became a stripper i will never know. wife and i did not hold this occupation against her, until she had children. i knew what the outcome would be with the children. and, its proven true. children repeat what they see and hear and this girl is no exception. she has watched her mother smoke pot, so now the daughter sneaks and does the same. things have gotten so bad with the whole family, that the mother and two daughters have had to move back in with her parents. this further complicates the situation. the 13 year old girl is now going through puberty on top of everything else. we are in the process of psychological therapy for the daughter. she is loaded with anger from all points of her young life. i advised her mother that help was out there for her daughter and i was going to make the arrangements for her. children cannot be responsible for what their parents do. she should have known better and now she know it. to be honest, it may come down to this: Children Services, after learning all the facts, may step in and take custody of her 13 year old daughter. this will kill the grandparents, our neighbors. i have told her mother time and time again that you reap what you sow. and now, its come to pass.

Funny thing. My sisters kid does the same shit, he is 15. The biological father is a cop. My sister is in school to be a nurse and her husband is an electrician.

Tell me how their occupations fucked up the kid.

I live in Portland, the land of the stripper. I know a few girls who strip and have children. Who cares? They make tons of money and have funded home businesses, take time off when they want to and have provided for their child and often times for other people as well. I think the real question to ask would be this;
did the child have to go to work with her mother ever? If so that could be the answer as to why she became a stripper in the first place and if not then WHO THE HELL LETS A CHILD STRIPCLUB?
Sounds to me like mommy was bringing her work home with her.
I say smack the mother for not stopping the child from acting up in the first place and then smack the kid for not respecting her mother.
I am not a fan of this new school love them more style of discipline. Old school would fix this right up. My Grandma would fix it. Who cares what she did, she put food on the table right? It’s what she does at home after work that makes the diff.

@johnpowell has there been physical attacks by the child?

@Flo_Nightengale :: He gets mad and hits. But it isn’t to hurt. It is just to let you know he is mad.

Gee, I wonder how different the kid would behave if society didn’t treat stripping and other such professions as filthy, disgusting jobs only occupied by the scum of the earth.

@Grisaille have you ever met a stripper?

The occupation of the mother is not the issue. Women who are strippers can be fantastic mothers. This has to do with the mother’s level of appropriateness surrounding exposing her child to her work and her parenting skills.

@eponymoushipster I’ve met former strippers who were and are lovely people.

@eponymoushipster I have.

I Know plenty of strippers and not a single one of them suck as people. Not a single one of them.

@john65pennington, it sounds like the poor parenting skills, and perhaps the choice of occupation, etc. stems from something far deeper than the fact that the mother is a stripper. Do you know for a fact that both the mother and the daughter aren’t being abused by a male member of the family, like the mother’s father or a brother? It happens in the “best” of families…

Concerning the abuse. i have my suspicisions. the mother has been married three times and the last husband had the stepdaughter underwear in his chest of drawers. was this by accident? at this point we do not know. i assume all of this will come out in counseling and i am holding my own until after that time. wife and i love both of them like our own children and this why this really concerns both of us. i will do my part as a law enforcement officer, when the time presents itself. did the mothers occupation have anything to do with this situation? at first, no. then she became addicted and you know the rest of the story. i have no clue what may or may not have happened at their house. they lived about 20 miles away and thats still an unknown. the truth will come out. thanks everyone for the answers and the concerns. john

@john65pennington Addicted to what? Coke? Meth? The money?

Both. cocaine and the money. i always told her that when you play with fire, someone is going to get burned. i think that time has arrived.

That sucks. Nothing like wearing the stereotype. Good luck to you John. I hope that you act as a friend and not as a law enforcement officer. My father was a cop and sometimes he just did’int know when to take the badge off.

I agree with everyone who said that stripping isn’t necessarily the direct cause of the damage done to the child, unless the mother took her job home, and it apparently seems that way. As for how her child is acting, there’s no way that she should be punished in any form. If her mother was addicted to drugs and money, there’s no telling how she behaved in front of her daughter, but we can all probably rightly assume that it wasn’t good behavior. Thus, the daughter had nothing to learn from, no one to teach her. It’s understandable that she’s acting out now, and like you know, therapy is the best thing that can happen right now. Until she’s in a stable and actual loving environment, it will only keep getting worse.

@judochop I also live in Portland, and I’ve met plenty of strippers that are fucked up women. Is it because they’re strippers? No, not necessarily. But you’re going to find fucked up people, no matter what profession they have.

Your question implied some kind of causation between the mother’s profession and the daughter’s attitude. Then later in the thread you talk about drug abuse and potential sexual abuse, as well as multiple partners (husbands, anyway) for the mother.

Those things that were omitted from the original question seem to have a lot more bearing on the problems than the mother’s occupation.

Correlation is not causation.

My mother was never a stripper, but she was an alcoholic.

I can still remember being 13 and knowing that I had lost all respect for both my parents. Not just because of the addiction, but all of the lies. That’s not how it’s supposed to be for 13 yr. olds and a part of you knows that.

I was fortunate to have a set of circumstances enabling me to get the hell out of there. Obviously this girl isn’t as fortunate.

I don’t think that the stripping (altho part of the overall picture) is the main issue here.
Much more salient and more corrosive is the addiction dynamics and the total chaos that always accompanies it.

I certainly don’t blame the daughter for her anger and lack of respect. But she needs to find something constructive to take it’s place or she will self destruct as well.

Get her into therapy and in contact with an Ala-Teen group so she can begin to deal with all this crap in a constructive instead of destructive way. She needs to know that biology is not destiny. She is not necessarily destined to follow in her mothers footsteps. She has choices.

But she needs to see that she realistically has other healthy options. But whatever else, get her out of that hell-hole masquerading as a family home. Even if it takes getting Social Services involved, it’s worth it.

Hmm, sounds like plenty of other teenagers with parents of all sorts of occupations – don’t draw conclusions when they’re not necessary.

@CyanoticWasp GA. I logged back in to Fluther to write that I find it interesting that the OP asked about a stripper’s daughter… not a drug addict’s daughter or a young girl who may be the victim of abuse.

@John

The stepdaughter’s underwear was in his chest of drawers.

And you ask “Was this an accident ?”

Really ? Really ?

All I can say is denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

Come on now. Please.

@Buttonstc Maybe if the family does their laundry together, her underwear stuck to his clothes and was accidentally put away? I occasionally find my guy’s socks stuck to my stuff in my dresser… But that’s the only way I can possibly imagine that “accidentally” happening…

As a neighbor and an officer of the law, I think the best thing you can do is wish her well and maybe suggest that someone else respond if the police are ever called as a result of her behavior (not a guaranteed eventuality). It’s not your role as neighbor, cop or citizen to tell someone else how to raise their child.

It is your responsibility to maintain public order and protect others from her, but if you have a long relationship with this girl, yours may not be the best voice to put out there on this. This is especially true if nobody needs any protecting.

@mamrad

So you don’t think that the 13 yr old needs protecting ?

@radar

Well if it were socks…

But it wasn’t socks.

My spidey sense tells me it wasn’t an accident.

@Buttonstc I’m certainly not arguing, and our spidey-senses are on the same wavelength. Just playing a little devil’s advocate and giving a possible but far-fetched explanation. :)

@radar

No I got what you were saying but I have higher expectations of a trained lawman.

I do realize that it wouldn’t stand up in a court of law or something. But in the court of common sense it’s a slam-dunk, IMHO.

Proverbs Verse 31, that should answer the questions as to the defunct parent, and why the teen is belligerent. Where is dad?

And if all else fails, we can just do this, right @scrumpulate?

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother… Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city… And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die.

Deuteronomy 21:18–21

Go away.

And exactly in which chapter would VERSE 31 be found?

In order to limit confusion,
I’m going to assume you are referring to the entirety of Proverbs CHAPTER 31 which speaks of many of the desirable properties of a virtuous woman.

Being addicted to cocaine rather short circuits the ability to develop those qualities, don’t you think ? Did you read any of the rest of this thread? Doesn’t seem so since that was stated definitively several posts ago. Hit and run Bible quoting without understanding the issue is usually counter-productive. And even MORE counter-productive if you can’t take the care to be accurate about it.

Quoting that is kind of like closing the barn door after the horse has already escaped so I’m trying to figure out why you posted it.

I think it’s already been realized that a cocaine addict is not a virtuous woman.

Should we just beat her over the head with that chapter and expect her to see the light ? Should it just be quoted to the daughter once a day to shame her into compliance ?

I am quite familiar with this chapter and I honestly don’t see how it’s at all helpful to the situation at hand other than to gloat.

@ Grisaille, Yes, that is right. and are you recalling this information from spite, or because you actually know the scripture. Do you not see the failing of the youth in the world? drug dealer children killing people with heroin? Kids shooting AK-47s against women in Africa? I think these kids should get stoned to death, and so should their G-dless parents. why should the village accept f-ucked up behavior and suspicious behavior? if these kids and parents cant get their shi* together then they should go away, ans you are fond of saying.

For such an upstanding bible-thumper, @scrumpulate, you sure do have a whole lot of venom.

You know… I’m sitting here debating on how exactly I should handle such an ignorant, violent, and thoroughly absurd statement… but I can’t. I really cannot. You refuse to spell out “fuck” or “God” yet wish death on nonbelievers. It denies logic. And is absolutely hilarious.

You are a special kind of stupid. May your “god” have mercy on your “soul.”

P.S. that whole “THE YOUTH ARE MISGUIDED” is a bullshit, outdated and silly argument that has been replayed every generation. Get a new schtick to tout your hateful ideology with.

Edited out a typo. Seems the stupid is contagious.

Also, no one flag @scrumpulate. I’d like him to marinate in his bath of stupid juices.

@scrumpulate

Luke 18:11

And the Pharisee stood and prayed thus, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publication.

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Jesus had some interesting evaluations of those who enjoy gloating over others sinfulness while ignoring their own.

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Matthew 23:27

Woe unto you, scribes, Pharisees, hypocrites! For ye are like unto whited sepulchres which are full of dead mens bones, and of all uncleanness.
Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

Selah…

@scrumpulate ah yes, I feel the love of Christ literally oozing from you to me through the computer screen as you write about stoning kids and killing godless parents…it’s so sweet and warm and a nice way to start the morning…thank you Jesus for having followers such as @scrumpulate – and a big fuck you!

Religion aside, we teach our children through example. You said mom does pot now the kid does pot and so on. Also kids can be cruel. Many of her friends probably think her mom is a hot slut and figure the daughter will be too and treat her as such. She has two options available to her. Fight everyone who treats her this way and act the opposite or give in and do what is expected of her. All very frightening for a young girl. Especially if she doesn’t have a strong male role model in her life to make her feel valued. If mom truly did love her she would find another line of work. I know I’m going to hear crap about that because people are going to say she has a right to live her life her way. And I agree with that. But then she should’ve stayed childless. Having children is not a right. Its a precious gift that should be handled with care. Not tossed aside sometimes because her feelings aren’t convienent to your profession. Her first profession is that of a mother. One she willingly accepted when she had her child.

@Pandora You said “especially if she doesn’t have a strong male role model around to make her feel valued” – teaching girls that they can feel valued through a man is no better than to teach them stripping – a woman or any person for that matter has intrinsic value in it of themselves.

Maybe motivated not to follow the path of your mother. Maybe aware of how it has affected her life and wrecked yours. I assume there has been no night time Mom. That is sad, but you don’t need to be sad. Study and have a goal, and you can break the cycle.