Has it ever been easy to let go?

Very difficult to do considering you still have an emotional investment in the situation. It is not until you are able to detach and be objective, that you will be able to truly let go and walk away. Of cours, you can always try to fake it before you make as the old saying goes… It starts with looking at all the information you have (not knowing the details, it is tough for me to be ore specific), making a decision as to what YOU want, and building a plan around how to achieve what it is that you want. That takes time. It will not happen overnight. But remember that for whatever reason things happened the way they did… it isn’ your fault and you are not to blame. Sometimes people just do not live up to expectations as they are all different and have different motivations. Part oof my strategy is to set realistic expecatiosn based upon “Dealbreakers” for me and make sure that they have been clearly communicated. Remember love is a reciprical emotion. It is difficult to have a one-sided love… Again, probably not the best advice, not knowing all the details of your situation… but they are basic self help strategies to help you move toward the right direction. My two cents… for what it is worth. Hang in there… the best healer is time!!

It’s never easy. That’s why I repress all my sadness and regret into a place where it will surface in the future in a more aggressive, psychotic form.

You being distraught is understandable.

You start by not seeing her anymore. Just cut it off.

Your pain will not be lessened by seeing her (as you found out last night).

Then you give yourself time. It is not going to be quick. Focus on something outside yourself. Maybe volunteer somewhere. It will put your problems in persepctive.

Take care.

No, it’s never easy to let go. Because something about the relationship was great and you will feel a sense of loss even if it wasn’t ideal for you or her, especially if a lot of time was invested in this relationship. But remember that the pain you are feeling is natural: if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t feel it (and it wouldn’t be real). Just embrace it and keep going, do your everyday things and find things to fill up your time. Eventually (yup, it takes time) the pain will fade, the memories will fade and you will have new experiences in your life and new people in your life who will quickly fill the void.

You won’t begin to let go until you decide you want to. Perspective is your best friend here but it’s the thing you’re probably lacking most (evidenced by the fact you feel you don’t “understand” – the truth is you do understand, “it’s over” she told you as much, you just don’t want to accept it). Stuff like this hurts, unrequited love especially, there’s no way around it but believe it or not, you can and will deal with it and how you do so is up to you. When you’re ready to let go, and it’ll take time, you may not even realize it – things will just start to seem better, the colors a bit crisper, the details a bit clearer – but until then it’s going to hurt so why things worse by being miserable? Accept that it hurts, that you’re sad, but don’t dwell on it, get out and do something nice for someone, make them smile, you’ll be amazed at how quickly time passes when you focus on helping those around you and before you know it you’ll be hard pressed to remember why it hurt so much in the first place. Good luck.

Are you still with this girl? If not, why did she end it?

My take: you don’t let go so much as you change the role people have in your life. I still think about (and dream about) every woman I’ve ever been in a serious relationship with and a few that I haven’t. I sometimes get wind of what they’re up to; and I always wish good things for them.

They still make my life richer and more purposeful although I rarely communicate with them. Bittersweet… but still richer.

Letting go of someone you love is the hardest thing to do…thats why I always say that it is better to love yourself more than you love another person. Start loving yourself and you will get the strength to get over it…