When I think of “bases” I think of excited gossipers in my distant childhood past.
The bases arent a recipe, its a form of comunication. How far you got with someone.
I think below age 16 there is a massive amount of communication/for so little actual activity.
Somewhere along the line of growing I concluded that maturity and popularity was linked with getting to this or that base.
While sex is linked with status, it’s a pretty shallow way to approach something as important and intimate as – well intimacy.
I like however the comparison between age and a base limit. – I try to raise my sons on the idea that sex is a realm of personal responsibility we must face as adults, whether or not you are one.
The consequences for error could lead to disease, unwanted pregnancy, abortion. I don’t try to scare them, I want them to grasp the association between choosing under duress (temptation) and consequence.
I think the emotional impact of intimacy is beyond what some, if not many younger persons can easily cope with, and the pain of separation may be less devastating for an older person. Love hurts.
There’s no time to start learning responsibility and judgment like the present. (this doesn’t mean go forth and start boinking – it means go forth and use your head)
I tell them – if and when you are presented with a “choice” it’s not likely I’ll be there. Your going to have to know yourself well enough to know what you are going to do, and be responsible enough to face the consequences.
I try to avoid telling them what is right. Instead I tell them that this is the ultimate puzzle anyone must solve. In the end we all chose to do what we think is right, and this defines us.
(I’ve not observed sociopathy developing – instead “I’m deeply disappointed” produces a strong response.)
I think this way, because as I grew up, I became fiercely independent to the point, that anything my parents would say, I tried the opposite.
So what age is a good age for intimacy? I think the psychological risk of harm is less above age 16, and really should not be pushed at any age. In life sex grows on trees, there is no need to run up and down the street screaming “do me!, do me!”
This might be a good question to use on your parents so measure the shock value, try it while they’re drinking milk to see if you can get it to go out their nose.
“Um, hey dad, how old were you when you first got to third base, and do you have any advice?” – this may not be safe to ask in certain families. I think a very safe age is when you are an adult, then it is your life, your body. You still by the way, will have adult responsibilities. Also there are some who will have difficulty with intimacy at any age without therapy.
It pains me to recollect all the things I did in youth. I would be worried if my own kids followed my slutty ways.
Love, sex, so much better when they are the natural evolution of things with someone you love, shared at a meaningful pace. I can say that after 18 years of marriage.
On the other hand, I was one of the young ones running up and down the street when I was young. ;)
I think it’s worth noting also, that there are legal limits (look up statutory rape), and religious limits on age/sex. My discussion above is a purely pragmatic approach (practical reasoning) with touches of practical morality.
Sex and ethics go hand in hand. If you don’t get it now, you will eventually.
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