Social Question

Pandora's avatar

Did you ever get a bad reputation you didn't deserve?

Asked by Pandora (32385points) January 6th, 2010

When my daughter was in High School the bus would drop her off in front of the house. I would get home from work before her and I would sometimes be sitting on the porch and notice the kids on the bus would turn and look at me. I thought nothing of it, till one day my daughter gets off the bus with a friend of hers and it is report card day. My daughter could easily get A’s in school but she oftened got dinged for not doing homework assignments so she would get a B. So if I saw a B she would try to make excuses, like the teacher doesn’t like me and so on. Any how I would tell her a B was not acceptable because she was simply just lazy. (By the way, teachers always let me know when she forgot assignments.) Anyhow, I would never yell just simply tell her it was unacceptable and she best shape up. Now when it happened to my son, I knew its not because he was lazy, he would work long hours after school to learn his stuff and always completed assignments. So even though he was disappointed in getting a B, I would tell him he should be proud of it because of all his hard work. Anyway, my daughter would get upset and her friend started to cry because she was a C and D student. She felt I was calling her stupid. I later found out she got off the bus to support my daughter from the horrible reprocussions she would suffer at my hands and that a few people thought I was going to beat her. Turns out she, didn’t say I beat her for bad grades but that the reprocussions are would be horrible. (The worst I would do is no TV at night) And she made herself sound like a step child because her brother would never suffer for his grades. So the kids on the bus were looking at the monster mother who would beat her child. Although amusing as this is, I wonder how many people have the opposite reputation. How many of you are something you are not?

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15 Answers

Sophief's avatar

That sounds awful. Just plain jealousy on your daughters behalf. To be fair to her, I can see that and she probably didn’t try out of revenge on you. Is your daughter still at school?

FlipFlap's avatar

When I was in high school, I was very quiet and timid. I had a loud, clear reading voice and have never had the regional accent most people here have. I was like your daughter. I hardly did my homework, but always pulled A’s and B’s. For some reason unknown to me, someone – I never found out who – started telling people I was “stuck up” and that I thought I was better than everyone else. I always wanted lots of friends, but only had a small group of close friends. Some of the athletes decided that since I thought I was better than everyone else, they would start giving me a hard time. For a couple of years, they made my life a living hell. I got to be very good at avoidance, since I didn’t like being physically and verbally abused in public. Humiliation just never was my thing.

I never did find out who started that reputation for me, but it wasn’t true. I have never thought I was better than everyone else. All I really wanted back then was more friends. High school… I’m glad I’ll never have to endure that again, but if I did, I would do a few things differently. (For one thing, I would hit back as hard as possible.)

Pandora's avatar

@Dibley No, she pretty much did it so as not to have a reputation as being too smart. Both her and my son where in advance classes at the time and it seems all the kids would envy her being smart so she had to make it seem like she was being forced to do well so she would fit in with the crowd. She said all the kids on the bus would tell of the horrible grades they had and then would ask her about her grades. As for her brother she just never grasp the idea that he wasn’t favored, I just knew she wasn’t living up to her potential and he was harder on himself than I ever could be. When I would tell him it was ok because I knew he worked really hard for his B, he thought I was giving him pity. You just don’t win with kids. LOL Shes 25 now with and excellent job so she should have no complaints now.

Sophief's avatar

@pandora. Kids can be so mean. I hated my secondary school. I was bullied all the way through because I have red hair. I haven’t really answered your question, sorry, I don’t think I have a reputation.

ucme's avatar

Who me? I’d never hear of such a thing~

Pandora's avatar

@ucme Is that your way of saying you have a reputation you deserve?—
@FlipFlap My son had the same problem as you. People thought he was stuck up when in fact he was just socially inept. He was very smart only its taken him years to learn some social cues. He also wanted many friends but he many would mistake him for being stuck up. By the time most realized that it wasn’t the case he was already graduating. He did have some good friends. Funny enough it wasn’t your typical nerd. His best friend was a kid that many of the other kids thought a thug. Only he too had a reputation he didn’t deserve. He let them believe it because the other kids would leave him alone.—

ucme's avatar

Who knows? Maybe, if I have that’s fine. It wouldn’t be from anyone who really knows me so hey, water off a duck’s back to coin a phrase.

Chikipi's avatar

I was raped when I was 12 and the word spread quickly throughout the school that I had sex. The majority of the 5th graders did not understand that rape is forced sex so I became known as a slut for a few years. It boggled my mind because the only sex I had was with my rapist and that was forced. Anyways, by my highschool days the concept of slut went away because people knew by then what had actually happened.

Pandora's avatar

@Chikipi Funny thing how sex education is all such a huge thing but they usually don’t cover topics like rape in it.

ultimatestar's avatar

no, actually, i embrace my notorious reputation.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

I’m sure all my wife’s friends just think the world of me.. she tends to tell them all the bad stuff I do.. but rarely the good. XD Luckily I have no rat’s asses to give for their opinions. Not one. XD

wundayatta's avatar

No, but I’ve gotten good reputations I didn’t deserve. Of course, that’s a little easier to dispel.

Chikipi's avatar

@Pandora yeah at my school sex education was a one period class which is not enough to cover all topics on sex

DrasticDreamer's avatar

When I was going to public school, I was labeled a racist. Why? A girl in my class was talking with her friends while the teacher was demonstrating something. I happened to be at the same table with her, also talking to a friend of mine. Out of nowhere, she turned to me and told me to “Shut the hell up”. I retorted, “You shut the hell up, you’re talking as much as I am”, which she then blurted out, “Fucking racist, bitch!”. Then, throughout the day, she proceeded to tell everyone that I was racist. Because she was black and I was white, everyone believed her. Which is laughable looking back, because I’m such the opposite of that, that anyone who knows me would think she was insane for even insinuating what she did. Ah, life…

Pandora's avatar

@daloon Yep that can suck as well. My husband makes it sound like I walk on water to his co-workers. I’m sure after I leave they probably think him endearing and me not so super fantastic. I didn’t mind being the monster mom because at least their friends would respect me for fear of seeing my so call bad side.

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