Should i try to work things out with my ex?

Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt.

Agree with mowens. Not a whole lot of info in your question, but I suspect it’s time for you to move on.

there are any number of reasons for his seeming indecisiveness but ask yourself this, has anything really changed? if not, then trying again will likely lead to the same result. the fact that your even asking the question probably means you already know the answer you’re just not quite ready to admit it. bottom line, if you love him and want to work it out that’s great but if he doesn’t feel the same way, nothing good will come of it; best to move on.

Nope. Ex’s are ex’s for a reason.

I just retried with one i didnt talk to in over a year, nothings changed about her. Arguments now we’re arguments then. Ended up just calling it quits.

Are you sure you love him or are you afraid you won’t find someone who will love you consistently? You can be on your own and have opportunities to meet other guys.
The past behaviour of this guy you’ve been with on and off, is the best way to predict what he will do in the future. Are you ready to be dropped by him again and again?

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean it’s in your best interests to be with them.

(twitches) Um, that little key on the left side of your keyboard.. the one that has “Caps Lock” on it.. press it.

Only press it once.

It’s not that i’m afraid that someone else wont want me cause i’ve had chances to go on dates with other guys but said no cause i didn’t feel like it’d be fair to them because i wasn’t over my ex. Every time he wants to try again things do change he goes back to the sweet caring guy i fell for and i think that he just gets used to our situation and quits trying.

@mowens : Hehe YES only once, thank you for that clarification ^.^

Nope, this guy sounds like the kind of person who is emotionally unstable and can’t commit to anyone or anything. If he really cared about you, he would stick with you. He sounds like the kind of person that wants to have benefits and no commitment. Forget about him.

Sounds to me he has commitment issues and you are caught in the wake of his wanting his cake and eating it too. I suspect he like you doesn’t like to be alone but he is obviously looking for of wanting something else than what you are providing. Put him off on the back burner for a while and let some time pass to see if you and or he develop stronger or more realistic feelings that would show commitment potential.

No, it is not a good idea to keep starting over and then breaking up. You love him. When he breaks it off again, you will be hurt.

@SMSNPM18 Please respect the Fluther convention of not “shouting” by typing in all caps.

Why are you yelling at all of us?

@mowens
You slippery wordsmith you…nice.

A heart needs a second chance…. Give it another try. From the looks of things he seems to really like you and you feel the same way about him. I have hardly heard of couples refusing to date other people when they have broken up, so this sounds like a good thing.

Why does he keep ending the relationship? To me it sounds maybe that he is young and immature. He obviously likes you or he wouldn’t be with you regardless of what you call it. I think maybe you need to tell us a little more if that is possible?

I have been there. Many many times we broke up and got back together, I felt it was his doing. Now we are just friends and I am with someone that I have been with for a year and a half. My ex and I plan on just staying friends forever, we broke up probably 3–4 years ago.

@SMSNPM18, I suggest that you make going to see a couples counselor before you actually agree to get back together again. Some people are better off friends, but if both people don’t understand exactly why they keep getting together and breaking up, then it can lead to a lot of heartache for one of the pair until both come to terms with what the true dynamics of the relationship is. Often that’s more easily accomplished by talking to a third party who has an objective perspective and can talk to both of you without having a vested interest in the outcome.

If you’re at college, the university counseling center will do this.

You seem tied to him, so I wonder if it is possible for you to turn him down when he comes around. So I don’t think “moving on” is an option. It would really help if you could give us your understanding of why he leaves and why he comes back.

Anyway, I don’t know if you came here to get support for moving on or for working things out, but I don’t think you really have much choice. You have to keep on trying until you’ve been hurt so much, you no longer like or respect him, or until he leaves forever.

As @PandoraBoxx said, if you have access to a couples counselor, they can really help. I don’t think it will help if you keep on acting out your same old patterns. If you don’t find a way to understand what causes the miscommunication between you, it won’t work. So you have to talk about things yourselves, or with someone else.

When you do talk, you must listen to him (as he must listen to you) for as long as it takes to talk about what he wants or what he thinks is going on. You have to try not to be defensive. That just shuts the other person up. You’ll both need active listening skills. That’s a start, anyway.

He doesn’t even sound like a good friend let alone a good boy friend. I agree with “mowens” – find someone who can’t live without you – believe me, you won’t be sorry. Going on 30 years chasing my wife around and she still let’s me catch her.

I really don’t think it’s a good idea. Do you really want to be with someone who won’t make up his mind when it comes to whether or not he wants to be with you? Also, are you SURE he’s never done anything with anyone else? It’s possible that he has done things with other people and kept all of that information to himself.