ATTN: Male jellies- I need advice on this dating predicament?

I think you need to give him a little something something. Start small and go slow; hold his hand, give him a peck on the cheek, hug him, etc. A relationship cannot work without physical intimacy. Physical contact builds trust between people, so you must bring yourself to do it if you want this to work.

And that control issue you have? You should really work on that because it never ends well when your try to have too much control.

just tell him how u feel an if for some way yall brack up then he most not be that good of a guy becuz I know if my gf said that I would ask ?‘s but then I would under stand

Srry about tha speeling I’m on my itouch super hard

If you are reassuring, so that he knows that it is not something about him, things should be fine. If he is too impatient, I guess he’s just not really for you.

My opinion is that if you truly like the guy, you should start to open up yourself to the inevitable. . . if you can’t do great big hugs right now, then there’s no better time to start with small frequent contacts to get you de-sensitized. If I’m in that relationship, I would start feeling weird about the whole thing within a week or 2. The reason folks get into relationships is to get connected, including physical.

So, drop your guard and start embracing (pun intended) the realities of the birds and the bees . . .

I think that would depend entirely on the guy. You’ve done the right thing. You’ve disclosed it to him. You;re showing him nonverbally where your limits are every time the two of you are together. He’s going to have to decide whether it’s a problem to him, or just an idiosyncrasy he can accept. There are guys who feel the same way, you know, and would be tremendously relieved they had finaly found a soul mate who didn’t think them cold or unresponsive.

I do not think it’s something you should bring up over and over. You’ve told him how you feel. You are showing him in deeds. Too much dwelling on it, and he’s going to begin to wonder why it’s such a big deal.

hmmmmmmmmmmmm i would probably take your time and move on only as fast as you feel comfortable
touching hands or caressing a cheek with some nice eye contact is always nice
take your time

As others have said, it is great that you have talked to him about it. Personally, if I really liked the person, I could put up with no physical contact for maybe a month. You will need to work on it, physical contact is basically required in a serious relationship.

Weel contact is an important part of any caring relationship as an extension of said caring. It’s a way to create certain intimacy that does not exist with other people as well as a way to transmit a sense of comfort within said relationship. Not touching someone shows a bit of insecurity and mistrust and can be taxing. I for one am a very affectionate person and very touchy-feely. My SO is the same way. If she were to keep her distance in that respect i would know something is wrong.

Being as physical as i am (talking just hand holding, hugging etc) i would not last long with someone that wasn’t. It’s important to someone like me.

I agree with drdoombot but maybe you just need to get really friendly with a guy over a long period before escalating it and be straight with him. There’s a special person for everyone.

@SheWasAll_ – Make sure you tell him and remind him of this He’s a nearly perfect match to my personality and I’m really excited about the possibilities. and go at your own pace. You’ve explained where your coming from. If he is any kind of man he will wait until your ready. If he can’t he should at least give you the chance to decide if it’s go or no time.

Aside from that I would also encourage you to work on the control thing. Unless it is a trust thing bread out of a seriously bad experience, it isn’t to fair to have things one sided. I am leaving a relationship where they were that way for 13 years and it just isn’t fair.

Sounds like this is a perfect opportunity to not only get into a relationship, but to build confidence.

I’d only say it would be harmful if you didn’t let him know. Should be all good, especially if he’s understanding.

You and i would never make it together. i am a very huggy person and you are not. if i like or love a person, i am going to express my love with a hug. you would probably run away from me screaming bloody murder. i sincerely hope your boyfriend understands how you feel about giving and receiving hugs. down the road, this could be a very serious problem for you two. to be honest, i would not understand this, at all.

@john65pennington
I’d last 10 minutes too.

@Naked_Homer The control issue isn’t just a need for control, it is a trust thing bread out of multiple bad experiences. Some would say horrific. . I hoping to build enough trust where I can fully explain the reasoning to him, but I’m glad to know I’m not completely crazy for feeling this way.

@SheWasAll_ – that is what I was wondering. If it was just purely a “control thing” I would be surprised that you were concerned at all about it.

Then I stand by my initial statement. Give him the best explanation you feel comfortable giving him. Maybe get a little help by talking to someone because you are missing out. But don’t feel pressured. That is my opinion.

bread——> bred
Professor punctuation :)

Don’t hold him off too long, he could loose interest and stray…

i think you should have a glass of wine to loosen up a bit
and maybe have a second glass and go from there
watch a funny movie at home together

get out the popcorn and a blanket for two