Do you believe this relationship statement is true?

Momma’s got smarts and can read people like an open book.

Yea she was…. She knows the ropes..

Meeting the parents is always a good way to sort the wheat from the chaff. If they didnt want to meet her (your mother) then i would have questioned their intentions also. Pity she wasted so much time on them.

@FishGutsDale Whats Chaff? She not only wasted time but she gave up relationships after the second guy left her to marry his pregnant girlfriend. She was 4 years with him. She always wanted kids but wanted the traditional family. However this guy jerked her around so much she never was willing to put herself out there again. He even had the guts to borrow 5 thousand dollars from her before he dropped her. I’m pretty sure he never paid her back.

This is a bad story, but I don’t think that if my girlfriend doesn’t want to meet my mom she has someone else. There are many cases when two lovers live together and never meet each other parents. My opinion..

@Pandora chaff is the casing around wheat, which needs to be removed when harvesting wheat. Its just an old saying about picking the good people from the bad people.

also, sucks to hear your sis was demoralised from those relationships, some people are just take take take

Not only would I not have dated someone who didn’t want to meet my parents, I wouldn’t have dated someone who didn’t get along with my parents. Family unity is too important to me. I think it is very indicative of someone’s disingenuous intentions to not be interested in getting to know a “loved one’s” family.

Mom wasn’t just lucky. She was intuitive. She knew.

Its been my experience to believe that people that cannot look you straight in the eye are guilty of something. sounds like this is the case with the two boyfriends. i met each girls mother i dated way back when. i had nothing to hide and we developed a good relationship at that time. like other responders have said, mothers “know these things”.

Your mom’s got it nailed, kudos to her for having some sharp instincts.

Sometimes a guy can be waaaay nervous about meeting the parents and will even try to avoid it once or twice, but in the end, if they’re serious, they all know it has to be done and will suck it up. Anything past that is definitely suspicious and cause for concern. Not being able to look someone in the eye who you don’t even know… yikes, time to try door number two (or three in this case).

I think if a person is serious about you they want to meet your family and want you to meet theirs. Anything else, and they’re probably just trying to keep it light. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if that’s the case, then they should be upfront about it.

Nothing’s worse than someone who doesn’t have the stones to tell you what they really want and what they’re really ready to have with you, but will string you along nonetheless because they like what you’re giving them.

I don’t think it’s always true. I prefer to keep my relationship life and my family life separate, so I’m totally okay with a boyfriend not meeting my parents. It’s not even that I’m a bad person and I’m afraid of them finding stuff out about me. It’s that I’m just not allowed to date. It’s just so much simpler not to get my parents involved at all.

I don’t think this is always true….

I met a guy’s mom after a few dates. And he turned out to be a rodent. He was always begging to meet my family.

Uh…no….that will not and did not happen.

True in some cases, but I think that if a guy is slick, he will also turn on the charm.

However, I will have to say that mothers very often know the truth.

I don’t need my parent’s approval for the people I date. So they don’t have to meet my parents, ever. However, if I ask them to meet my parents (now, just my mom, the more obnoxious of the two) and they come up with excuse after excuse, I’ll just think they’re childish and can’t spend a night with adults – I wouldn’t care if they had anyone else but their inability to meet my mom would show me they have a flaw I don’t like.

Here’s a story: when I met my current husband, it was online and we weren’t looking for love. I had a single photo of him that he took with his cell phone of half his face. On the night when I realized I must leave my marriage and maybe pursue things with him, I got my mom out of bed to look at the picture. She looked into his eyes, he said they’re intirguing but that he’s hiding something. I trust my mom with these things, usually. I met him anyway, he’s now my husband…but, at the time when we met, he was hiding a lot about his life…it took years to find out all of it, all the darkness, all the trauma. So mom was right.

I think most moms (not all) can pick out the the snake oil salesmen when they meet them. Some are really good at selling themselves, usually because they’re convinced that they’re a good person. Someone in my circle of acquaintances has that going on. Her daughter is lovely, kind, bright, but not self-confident. The young man comes from money, works in a family business, is very assertive. Mom sees him as a better catch than her daughter deserves. Everyone else sees him as a control freak, and potential abuser. When they were dating two months, the young man began monitoring what the size 5 young lady was eating, even when they weren’t together, because he didn’t want her to “end up like her mother” who wears a size 12. Mom sees this as concern, friends see red flags.

The next step in Commitment in an Exclusive Relationship is meeting the parents! If the person Won’t/ Is not ready/ Avoids it and The total time together is someplace between Two to Six Months and He/ She Won’t then they are Not ready/ Seeing someone else secretly or Just Confused and not willing to admit it and are afraid of being Burned again.

Dump Them! Not worth wasting the time when you can be pursuing a relationship with a person that has there “Crap”(for lack of the right word I can’t say on this site) Together…

I don’t believe that it is possible to waste time. This woman learned much and had many good and bad experiences throughout these relationships. Nothing was wasted. Not all relationships have to “go somewhere [in specific].” They all go somewhere—maybe not where your mother wants it to go, but it’s your life, not hers.

@daloon I’m not sure I can agree with the whole statement. Yes you live, love and learn, but some people become so scarred they stop living. And whats to say that while your spending time with Mr. Non committment you may over look the right guy or he over look you because you are with someone else. It is surely ones own life to waste but one should be given the option up front. Both guys never told her about the other women because they knew she would choose to maybe move on. They should’ve at least had enough regard to give her that choice. Now, one of them is married with a family and he has the life she wanted. So I would have to say he wasted her life and stripped her of her confidence.

It really depends on ages, and expectations. My Mom made a real mistake (I didn’t hold it against her) when she met my husband, the only thing she said is “how old is he?” Nothing about his family or background. She came to love him in a short time, and we’ve been married for 35 years.

I tried to warn my son about his first wife, but he didn’t want to hear it. She ran off with another man and took everything they owned, after running up several thousand dollars worth of debt, while he was deployed at sea.

@Pandora I think it is not helpful to lay the blame for “wasting” her life on this guy who didn’t tell her the whole truth. In doing that, you place all the onus for change on him, and give yourself no responsibility. That means you don’t have to learn anything from the situation, and then you can make the mistake again. And, in fact, we see this because there were two guys who did the same thing. She was complicit in her victimization, or, on the other hand, we could also say that was what she wanted, even if she said she didn’t want that.

I’m not saying this is what happened. Just that it’s another way of looking at things. I think this way of looking at things helps one get more of what one wants out of live. Yes, you may have little control over event, or you may have been lied to, but it is incumbent upon us, I believe, to learn to see events coming so we can avoid them, and to learn to identify liars before they harm you.

If you learn from experience, it is not wasted. But even if you don’t learn from experience, it’s not wasted. It’s your life, whether you achieve all your goals, or some of them, or none of them. There is no guarantee she would have been happily married with a family even if he had told her the truth.

Taking the victim approach to life—well, it can make you feel life isn’t fair and it can give you a soapbox to stand on. However I don’t think it really helps you get on with life, and it is especially bad at getting you the things you want.

Question still is, if the following statement above is true?