Is it the right thing to do by putting my 18 1/2 year old cat to sleep? Is it betraying her or helping her?

You did the right thing, your cat was just suffering. It would be different if it was younger and more lively.

I have to be honest. With it purring on my lap every night. I don’t think I could possibly put him to sleep.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this with your furry friend.
Many animals, in my experience, have an amazing ability to act mostly normal while suffering horribly. It sounds like your cat might be doing this. At your cat’s age and if the vet is right, she is suffering. Starvation is a horrible way to go. What is your other option- wait until the cat is visibly in pain? I know what I would do, as hard as it would be.

I have had to do this and it is the hardest thing in the world to do. It is hard to let them go, but harder to let them suffer. Perhaps she is on your lap purring and saying her goodbye’s to you. I am glad you got two vets opinion’s, as I did also and the first one was wrong. Only you can decide to do this, but if you do, it is not inhumane or cruel. Let her know you love her, as I am sure you do daily.

Awful decision, I know now that I own a beloved cat. You will feel the same heartbreak next week or next month. I wouldn’t wait too much longer, no matter how anguished you feel.

Plan ahead and find a beautiful spot for her to rest. Plant a tree there perhaps when the inevitalble occurs

It’s definitely not the wrong thing. Hard as it is, you have to decide how much quality of life your cat has left, and it probably is the right thing.

I tend to think it is selfish to keep pets alive as long as we tend to, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong either. It gives us something we don’t always get, a chance to come to terms with the inevitable.

I’m sorry if this sounds curt because that’s not what I intend, but your cat is going to die eventually anyway and there’s no point in prolonging her suffering. It sounds like she’s ready to die.

You have also already given her a very long life. If she lived “in the wild” so to speak, even if there were plenty of food available and no predator or car had gotten her, her condition would have killed her long ago. You are not depriving her of anything.

If she purrs when you hold her.. she is still happy to be alive. It is okay to let her live and die naturally. There is nothing wrong with that. All you have to do is love her. If the thought of putting her down bothers you, it may bother you more after you do it. You have to be really mentally prepared to do that..

I will pray for you cat.. I pray that rest may come to her naturally.

I remember reading this:

It is not uncommon for cats to purr around the time prior to death. This final purring may indicate a state of anxiety or possibly euphoria, which has been described in terminally ill people.

No, it’s not betrayal. You love her very much and you don’t want her to suffer. You have been a great owner and given her a wonderful life. I’ve been in your shoes a few times and it’s extremely hard. I really do feel for you. I’m so sorry..

Here lies the whole point. By the description you so eloquently gave she is far from having a wonderful life as you said in your closing remarks. Let her go you’ll be doing her the most remarkable favour you’ve ever done. Of course it’s tough that just shows your love for her. Do it & do it soon she’s worth that much.

Euthanizing an animal that is suffering is an act of mercy, not of betrayal.

Well, thinking about my pets in such a circumstance, I wouldn’t want them to be suffering. Of course, it would be quite painful, and take me a fair while to agree to have that done.

Really, it sounds like your cat has had a very nice life. And it’s quite humane, better than getting any worse.

If she is suffering, it’s time.

I had to do the same with one of my cats some years ago and I could barely stand it, to this day I don’t even remember the drive home. I had decided to let her die at home and at peace (and I would suggest you do the same if you think she’ll be at peace, but…) in the end, for me, it became all too obvious how much pain she was really in which just made it all the harder.

For you to suffer so another doesn’t have to, hard to call it selfish.

One more thing… one of the things that I felt made it so hard was exactly what you mentioned about betrayal. Your cat won’t feel betrayed, you’ve spent 18½ year earning it’s trust and love, it will trust and love you through this too.

I don’t know….I have had a cat until it died at age 23 years old, another at 21. Every cat is different. If you haven’t already received a second opinion, I might suggest doing that. With an experienced vet who has taken care of senior cats. Or a vet who specializes in holistic medicine as well as conventional. I would do what I can, within my own means. If my means were limited, it definitely wouldn’t be worth it to see it suffer.

The thing is, when I have seen cats suffering (as they are slowly getting worse), they were really suffering (ie unable to walk, not purring, etc.). They ended up at the vet, and passed away there. That may indicate my position more than anything. If a vet insists it is dying and suffering but not showing a lot of symptoms (keeping in mind cats don’t like to show their illness) I would get a second opinion, and maybe find other options for improving it’s health, if that is possible.

I don’t want to offer false hope, just help you with all your options so that you feel some comfort with the ultimate decision you’ll have to make.

Putting pets down is a really tough decision. I’ve had to go through the deaths of several beloved pets and it’s never easy, especially if they have been with you for so long.

A “natural” death as @Jonah mentioned seems kind of cruel to me. Your cat is slowly starving to death because of her age and medical condition, in spite of all the love and care you are giving her. Her death is inevitable, as it is for all living creatures. It is your responsibility to make her life as happy as possible. If you continue to let her live like this, she will just continue to waste away, and although she may not show it to you, she will be suffering. Cats don’t like to let on that they are in pain and will often put on an act to hide the fact that they aren’t doing well.

It will be hard to put her down after so many years of companionship, but she has lived a long, happy life will all the love and care an animal deserves. If you choose to euthanize her you will be providing her with a peaceful, painless death instead of a prolonged period of quiet suffering.

this breaks my heart. i hope you figure out what to do, i’m sorry i can’t offer any advice. wish you and kitty the best of luck.

Oh, I can’t tell you how sad this thread makes me. I had to put a beloved cat to sleep 30 years ago and I STILL feel guilty. The thought of having to do it to my current cat makes me feel physically ill. Nonetheless, I think following your vet’s recommendation is the right thing to do for all the reasons stated above. I’m sorry.

My 20-year-old cat went into renal failure last November and we put her to sleep. Seeing first-hand the effects of such diminished kidney function, not to mention her very long life, made it way less devastating than I ever expected. Don’t get me wrong, it is very difficult and I have to fight tears back when I think of her, but she was my friend for 20 years and I would feel horrible and selfish if I let her suffer just because I couldn’t bear to let her go.

Beside the starvation, your kitty will become dehydrated and weak. I can only speak for myself, but I would prefer to not have my kitty suffer unnecessarily.

Yes, if she’s got renal failure and she’s not taking in any nutrients, she’s not got much longer. She’s suffering and it would be best to let her go.

Your next step is likely to be needing to inject fluids under subcutaneously. If you get there, it’s definitely time.

I guess my only question is; Do you feel that she is suffering? I’ve had my cat since ‘96. She’sabout 13 and ½ now. She has careracts, but is not completely blind. She is still bugging me to let her outside, even though right now there’s about 4 inches of snow on the ground. But I was thinking about this just a couple nights ago. I was thinking that I would have to get some sort of carrier and tote her around with me, because I wouldn’t want to leave her home alone if she got really ill. And I was wondering if I would have to make this choice anytime soon. I thought I’d be faced with it two years ago. She was walking funny, but the cateracts were first coming on and I think now that she was adjusting to her new “vision”.
I’d HAVE to know that she was in pain or suffering I guess. I’d have to be with her at the end and hold her while she was slipping away. That small life has been part of mine for so long. Putting her down for my convenience is an unthinkable betrayal. Letting her go to end her suffering is the last thing I can do for this gift I’ve been given. I think you feel the same.

My cat Monkey suffered renal failure in April 2007. He was 19. We knew it was time to put him to sleep when he stopped purring. He never purred once the latter half of April and he was put to sleep on the 28th. I suppose it was pretty obvious that a cat is not doing well when they no longer purr… :(

I think it probably is the right thing to do because it’s only going to get worse.

It is time to let her go. Our pets rely on us to do what is best for them. We take on that responsibility, and that includes the hard parts. It would be selfish of you to avoid your responsibility And to wait longer would not be in her interest. She is not going to get better from being old.

It might help to ask your vet to help you understand a little more clearly what kind of symptoms she is probably having that might not be obvious from her behavior. Here is a link that goes through the stages and symptoms of renal failure for humans, from early mild insufficiency to endstage failure. I don’t know if most of this translates to felines or not, but your vet might.

When the time is right, there are some vets who will come to your home so your pet can die in familiar surroundings. We did that for our malamute Tallulah some years ago. It still was very hard but there was a rightness about being in her own yard holding her while she let go.

I really hope ultimately you make your own decision, because you love your cat, you know if she is in pain too much, or how much she has changed, or more importantly if you are ready. Because one she “goes to sleep” it is over for her, but the pain remains with you. It is painful seeing her like that, and it is painful letting her go. You will know instinctively when it is time or not time to make a decision. Don’t pressurize yourself, take it day by day and see how it goes. No one can make the decision for you except of course God can decide to take her when he is ready. I wish you comfort hugs and loves at this difficult time. xoxoxo

I have had to take several of my siblings’ pets to be euthanized. It is never easy. A pet is a commitment, and as @stump said, our pets rely on us to make decisions they can not. So sorry you are going through this with your cat.

I sympathize with your struggle, @stevenb. Letting my cat go was the first real grownup decision I ever had to make. Decades later I still remember how hard it was and how I cried. But it was the right thing to do. It’s really no easier now than it was back then.

Don’t do it until you know it is right. It’s irreversible. In May of 2008 our vet told us our old guy was ready for the needle. We just saw too much life in him and couldn’t let him go yet. In June he hunted and brought down a young crow after a 20-minute battle in which he did not let go. Then he ate its head. It was revolting, but we cheered him. The old guy still had what it took. He lasted until September, when he was killed by a neighbor’s kindness.

His symptoms sounded a lot like yours. What kept him going was Pancreozime. The vet prescribed it without even being sure it would help, but it did. It was a necessary aid to his digestion and enabled him to absorb the nutrients from his food. It would have worked much better if neighbors hadn’t thought he was too skinny and needed to be fed. Every time they fed him without the meds, they cost him his appetite for a medicated meal.

When it was time to let him go, there was no remaining doubt. He was ready and needed us to help him one last time.

I think you better not do that,even if she’s suffering she’s still has the will to live longer and try harder despite her poor condition,let us wait until the time she decide to leave you forever. Cats in nature will die when the time nature ask them to do so,let us not interfere her own decision(cat is an independent creature,so let mothernature play her role),the only matter is that you should ask yourself;‘are you tired caring for her?’,if the answer is ‘yes’ then that means you want to kill her!. Just because you having a cat as your pet it doesn’t mean you owning her life(unlike a dog,a cat own it’s own life),and just because you can’t stand watch her suffering each days it doesn’t mean you can take her life as she’s struggling to still alive. I hope you know the best for her(sometime a miracle could happen),do not fear to lose your cat(every living creature will eventually die in the end but new life will keep blooming,that’s the way it has to be), and your life will keep go on.

In October of this year my cat of 14 years passed away. I had her since I was 7 years old, and I can’t remember not having her in my life. It was so hard to lose her but it was also necessary. She had begun to wither a fade, she lost all her weight, was beginning to have trouble breathing and my family knew her time was coming.

I no longer am living at home and was not willing to move Penny at her age. I wanted one last visit with her because it seemed her time was coming so fast..

I didn’t make it.. My parents knew her time was so close and took her to the vet to be put to sleep. Penny didn’t even make the 10 minute drive to the vet, she ended up dying in my Mum’s arms.

I grieved for only a short time when I realized that she had lived a long and healthy life with so much love and affection, yummy food and TONS of cat nip! Penny had a very happy and fulfilling life <3

During her last month with us, my Dad, who is a Photographer, took some GORGEOUS pictures of Penny, for me to keep always. I really suggest you do this, even if you have to pay a little local photographer to come and snap a few photos of your cat, it will be all worth it!

You, will know when your little furry friend’s time has finally come. It’s so hard, I know, but it’s a necessary part of life. I am worlds jealous that you have had 18½ years with your little one.

The only thing I can really suggest to you is when you have made that decision, have a close friend or family member be there. Don’t go into the room with them, so you will only have memories of your little kitten alive and happy, purring in your lap.

It’s not easy, there is no way for it to be. I wish you all the best and I feel for you, tears in my eyes remembering..

WIth very much love,
LB

The thought of this breaks my heart. I have two Persians both 15 years old and in fine health. I don’t want either of them ever to suffer. I think you should follow the vets advice. Have a nice spot picked out to bury her, plant a tree over her. I also worry that Angel and Simba might outlive me and I’ve made careful arrangements for that.

I imagine that your cat has her good days and bad days and often the good days are worth living – she sits on my lap purring in contentment – in spite of the bad ones. Let her die in her own time.

Just reading this made my cry….Do you think she’s in pain?

You have trusted your vet to care for her. You’ve been a good friend. Now it’s up to you to make sure she ends her life without agony and with some dignity. It’s your responsibility to do the right thing, no matter how tough it is on you.

Afterwards, you’ll cry but you will know you were her best friend right to the end of her life.

Say good bye…
Remember the good times…

Heal (Time)

Adopt (Rescue)
When you’re ready…

Steven, wait until the very last moment. You very well may have to euthanize her, but not now. Be with her lots. Delay, delay, delay. You will know the right time. So long as its not clear.. then wait. The right time for a cat to go would be similar to the right time for a human to go, under similar physical circumstances. The cat is an individual with her own desires that are most important. But if we don’t know those choices ourselves… then it’s best to just wait till you know for sure. The decision is forever. So be with the cat much as you can, and delay her departure long as you can. She’s not miserable yet. Wait till she’s miserable, then you know it’s obviously the right decision at that point. Right now, be with her presence as much as you can. Fill the end of her life with love and companionship.

I have had to face this issue at the deepest and most personal levels in the last few years. Part of being alive is preparing to be dead. At some point we begin to trade quality of life for quantity. Many times we can prolong life to the point where it becomes a virtual living death. There comes a time when we must respond to “We can extend your life a few more years,” with “Why?” We want to keep the living things we love close to us as long as possible, but if that makes them suffer, then it becomes a type of selfishness. Cherish the time you have left with her, and when it becomes obvious that her suffering is getting hard for her to bear, let her go. You’ll be happier for her in the long run.

Thank you everyone. I appreciate all of the great advice and that you would all share such sad and sweet stories with me.

I haven’t yet decided. Yesterday morning she accidentally urinated on the bed next to me. I know she felt guilty. I did too. She has been having accidents like that lately, and she has never done that in her whole life. I can tell she hates that, and I feel bad for her. She is wobbly on her feet and cannot see very well. I think I am realizing that I am keeping her here because I can’t bear to lose her. I plan on spending the next three days with her to see how she is during the day when I am usually gone at work. I will keep you all posted. Thanks again to everyone.

@stevenb

Animals are God’s creatures too. I will pray for you both.

@stevenb Obviously I don’t know you, but from what you’re telling us it does sound like you’re keeping her here for you. That’s totally normal, and having gone through this with dogs I completely relate. I hope you and your kitty come to peace with whatever decision you make.

If I were a cat, I couldn’t think of a better way to go to sleep forever than while lying on my best friends lap and purring happily.

Steven, whenever you do realize it’s the right time for your final act of love for your kitty, there are Vets who are available to make an appt. to come to your home to euthanize. You may have to call around a little to find one. I don’t believe it costs that much more.

I do know from my experiences with cats that they love nothing better than their familiar routines with those they love.

She will just experience it as going to sleep peacefully. How could that be interpreted as betrayal.

When I first read the details you gave in your question, what caught my attention was your mention of her losing urinary control more often. Cats are so fastidious by nature, it’s no wonder that this is so distressing to them. Altho not physically painful, it is nonetheless emotionally painful for them.

But I also understand your reluctance to end things when she is still so full of life and happily enjoying purring on the lap of her favorite companion.

It was about a year ago when I was faced with a similar situation with my 18 yr. old cat, Velvet.

She developed a very fast growing tumor under her tongue which didn’t become apparent until Christmas day when she just sat there drooling uncontrollably from the side of her mouth.

We were out of town visiting friends and to make a long story short, when my regular vet examined her he said it was most likely malignant.

But if it wasn’t too deeply involved, removing it would only give her a few months as it would regrow. But her mouth would heal up quickly from surgery.

As I spent a little time with her, trying to decide, she was still so alert and lively trying to hop down from her carrier and explore. I just couldn’t bear to euthanize her right then and there even tho the prognosis was so grim.

After going out to a nearby restaurant to sit and think about it for an hour or so, I decided it was worth the expense of surgery to give her a few more months of a decent quality of life however short. I just couldn’t kill her right then and there with so much life still in her.

Unfortunately, when he called the following morning, he said that the tumor went too deep and would necessitate amputating her tongue. Even if I could have talked a vet into doing that, I knew that was no kind of life for a cat. Velvet had been such a foodaholic all her life and such a meticulous groomer. I just couldn’t do that to her so I had to let her go.

I told him not to even wake her as that would just cause her more pain.

It was difficult but I knew I had made the right decision.

When it’s time to let your friend go, you will know. It sounds like she is close but your vets opinion is just that—an opinion.

You will know when it’s right to let her go. She certainly won’t feel betrayed as shell know it was your final act of love for her.

I’m glad you will be spending extra time with her. This will give you more complete info to evaluate the total picture.

Animals know when it’s their time to go. Be open to allow her to communicate this to you. She will let you know if you are open to it.

@Buttonstc Lurve for sharing your very sweet story.

Thanks. I’m still busy wiping the tears and blowing my nose.

I still miss her terribly.

I talked to the vet again. I asked again if my cat is suffering, and/or ready to die. Her answer was “probably not”. She said that several of her organs appear to be shutting down due to old age. She said that in her experience, when a cat is suffering or ready to die there is a noticeable change in behavior.

My cat hasn’t changed the way she acts yet. After spending five whole days solid with her I made a decision. She isn’t ready to die. She still is eating a lot. Moving a lot, and showing a desire to be here.

I realize she may change in a month, a week, or an hour. I can accept that. I will take every minute with thanks, and when the time comes and SHE is ready, I fully believe I will know. I am still positive I will cry and be sad for a very long time, but, in no small part due to all of your advice here, I will be able to let her rest. Right now I am just happy with whatever time we get to share. She has been, and still is a wonderful companion and friend. I love my sweet kitty. Thank you all so very much for your help. You have shared such amazing stories and advice. I am truly touched by your help and thoughts. I will let you all know when the time comes. Thank you all again. Bless you all.

What a great owner you are. My heart to you and your kitty.

Thanks Chyna!

Good for you for following your instincts. With as much of a bond as you have with her, I think she will let you know when life becomes too burdensome for her.

Out in the wild, when animals are ready to die they usually cease eating and drinking and go off on their own.

Being an indoor cat, she may begin hiding instead and stop eating/drinking.

I had another thought regarding something that may help with the bladder problems, especially when she’s beside you in bed.

Are you familiar with the blue and white Tux Pads? They are plastic backed rather thin absorbant pads which are larger than diapers and lie flat

They are used in hospitals and with bedridden patients at home. You can call around to local drugstores to see who stocks them.

Hopefully she would be ok lying on one when she’s next to you in bed. Or, you could put a comfy blanket or towel on top of one for her thus sparing the mattress.

Also, has your vet discussed the possibility of assisted feeding which would provide her with more nutrition?

I recently found out that there are considerable numbers of folks with CRF (chronic renal failure) cats who have managed to give them a few more years with this technique.
It basically involves swaddling her in a towel and using a pediatric plastic medicine oral syringe.

I found out about this several months ago when my current kitty was spayed. Normally they’re off their feed for a couple of days after surgery and then snap back.

But she continued to refuse food and wasn’t drinking either. I was pretty alarmed as she only weighed 5lbs. to start. I had never had this problem with any other cat. The vet said about 10% of cats react this way after spay.

Anyhow, several days of assisted feeding was enough to snap her out of it. But I got a lot of helpful info from kitty parents about it on those websites. Just do a Google on assisted feeding for cats.

Another thing I discovered is that Fancy Feast canned food has a reputation as “Kitty Crack” as many reluctantly eating cats love it so.

Good luck with your kitty and you are doing the right thing. She will let you know when it’s the right time so just continue enjoying her as you have been.

If you want more info on the specifics of the feeding technique, PM me. It’s really not that difficult because it’s easy to slip the syringe in on the side of the mouth in the natural space left by the arrangement of the cats teeth.

Enjoy every second you can with her. She loves you!

Wonderful….

when she stops eating its time ,think about her not your feelings

Well, I think it is time. My cute kitten is starting to get skinny and throw up every time she eats even one little piece of hard food. I still feed her the baby food, but she finds the other cats food and nibbles an immediately ralphs. I started thinking how miserable I would be if I was hungry and got sick when I ate. She looks like she is hungry alot. Unfortunately I can’t stay at home to feed her every two hours day and night, which is what I did for a while. She is losing more weight and I feel it I her time. I just wanted to thank you all again, so much, for your help, and to let you know. She DID almost make it 19 years. Just a few days short actually. Thanks again, to all of you.

I’m so sorry…

@stevenb – I’m so sorry. I know first-hand how tough it is and it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. One last thing I might suggest checking into is Science Diet K/D food, which is specifically for kitties with renal issues. I’m pretty sure it helped extend my cat’s life a couple of years. She went into renal failure and they thought she was a goner, but my mom nursed her back to health with twice-daily IVs, and the vet prescribed the K/D. She, too, vomited after eating, but it got a lot better after the change in diet.

Big hugs from me, I know it’s really sad and difficult. I give love to your kitty, too. :(

@stevenb – You did the best you could for your kitty. I’m sorry.

My heart goes out to you.

You are all very kind. Your kind words mean alot to me. @missanthrope, I tried that for almost six months. No luck. I also tried every other high level food I could find that was supposed to be easier to swallow, helped stop vomiting, etc, etc. She liked them all, as I gradually introduced them to her, but she would still vomit. Now she even vomits from straight baby food meats. That has been the best thing we’ve gotten her to eat for quite a while. I just can’t bear to think that she is always starving, so she eats, which immediately makes her vomit, so she is hungry again, so she eats…....

I think she must be miserable. I can’t ask her to stay that way. I love my poor sweet kitten too much. She has been with me since my birthday in 1991. Best kitty ever. Never bad, never sick, never any trouble at all. Always sweet, always ready to snuggle on my lap. I love her so.

@stevenb Here’s to 19 years of sweet memories!

I’m so sorry….

She is gone. She left while I held her head and told her how much I loved her.

@stevenb Well….she’s meeting my Snuffy dog (who loves cats) as we speak…..how does one show for real tears in writing God put Snuffy at the gate to greet all the cats.

If she had to leave that was certainly the best way possible with the one who loved her the most reassuring her.

She will have a permanent imprint on your heart. Even tho it’s been over a year now I still miss my Velvet (who I had for 18 years) so I I know how hard this is for you.

Even tho I now have a spunky (and fresh) new kitty running around, I still think of Velvet every day. None can ever replace her, but life goes on and the shelters are so full of cats being put to death every day simply for lack of time and space.

When you’re ready, you’ll rescue one of them but she will still hold that special place in your heart.

You made sure that her last experience in this lifetime was being loved and reassured by you. No pet could wish for more than that.

Awwww, @stevenb. :(

I’m crying for you now cause I’m such a softie. I’m just so glad for the both of you that you got to spend those last moments together. I’m hoping there’s lots of tuna where she is and hopefully now she can eat as much of it as she wants!

I hope all of you are right. I had a dream last night that she was like Ob Wan Kenoby…
IB Wan Kittywitty, made more meowerful after leaving this life. Help me IB Wan….your my only Kittten.

@stevenb, LOL! Humor is the best of all medicines!

I think it would be best to put her down. Have you ever read “Of Mice and Men”? Well it’s like that. Her existance at this point is just painful and doing more harm for her and you than it is good. It’s sad and hard to think about since pets are family if not closer, but I really think it would be best. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. My condolunces.

We are going through almost the exact problem with our Iggy Kitty now. He’s around the same age- he was a stray. My husband and I both are torn. Right now I think that he is suffering, because as many people have mentioned most pets have the unfortunate ability to hide pain from the people whom love them, and I have dealt with that and know that my pain over losing him is worth putting him out of his. My husband, however, has never worked with animals, and I don’t think that he understands the true amount of pain Iggy is in.
I also am crying for you. This is one of the hardest things that we have to decide, because they are family, and it is just like dealing with the death of one of the human members of our family.

I wish you the best, Gracie T.