Should I have eaten it?

Hm, I don’t know – was this a special meal or something…was it difficult for her to make?

I have a touchy stomach and if something doesn’t feel right I won’t eat it. I would have just said, I can’t eat it because of a medical condition.

I’ve eaten bad food that people have served me before, but I don’t think that you can eat food that is too spicy for you. If something is too spicy for me, I’ll have a physical reaction. And if people serve me food with onions in it, I just cannot eat it.

I don’t understand why some people make it so personal. My husband gets very upset with me if I don’t like his food. I often wonder if he would prefer the alternative solution, me lying to him about it.

If you really couldn’t endure eating the meal, you had every right to stop. But there is a polite way to go about it. You said “I told her that I couldn’t eat it”. Maybe there was a nicer, more gentle way you could’ve said it…

@Simone_De_Beauvoir No, nothing special. We just were hanging out and went to her house for dinner.

yeah some cooks can’t take criticism. No you shouldn’t have eaten it, I always tell my guinea… I mean guests that if they don’t like something speak up or you’ll get it again. If it just tasted bad sometimes you just have to grin and bear it if for no other reason than to show you appreciate the effort but if something’s too spicy it’s too spicy speak up, but be sure to be polite about it and praise her efforts and thank her.

@newbee well let’s see and I’m going to try to put myself in her place – if something I made was too spicy for you, I’d understand and wouldn’t get upset because I like my food really spicy and no one likes it as spicy as I do – if you made a stink about it and a face, I’d be pissed off at you being a child but just let it go probably

@ItalianPrincess1217 That was more of a paraphrase. I told her it was just a little too spicey and I wasn’t RUDE about it. She flat out told me my chili tasted nasty a couple of months ago. I didn’t get mad at her for that.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I just got in trouble with my husband for making a face over his chicken. But the face was a natural reaction. I didn’t plan the face, it just happened because the chicken tasted horrible and it was in my mouth.

You just said that you couldn’t eat it?... hmmm, I would’ve come up with another excuse, such as “I can’t eat foods that are too spicy” I would’ve been upset too, if I were her.

It sounds like her feelings have been deeply hurt. Just let it go. What’s done is done. If you have a problem with spicy food, tell her that. Maybe her food actually was good, but you just can’t handle spices, so it didn’t taste good to you. You could also throw in a compliment about food she made in the past that you actually did like if you’ve eaten other dishes she’s made and enjoyed them. Something like “I’m not really big on spicy food, but that banana bread you made last week was delicious!” should suffice. Well, only if she actually did make banana bread last week that was delicious. ;) Seriously, though, a response like this would show that you 1) appreciate her efforts, 2) recognize that it’s your taste buds that are acting up, and 3) you’ve enjoyed other recipes she’s cooked up/baked enough to remember them.

As for whether or not you should have eaten it, if you can’t handle it, you can’t handle it.

@curiouscat My EXACT words were “Peggy, I’m sorry but this is just a little too spicey for me. It smells really good but spices hurt my stomach. The salad is great though” Then she got mad and I left.

I see you were truthful and complimented the meal otherwise, so I don’t see what you did wrong. You shouldn’t be forced to eat something that causes you physical pain. If you explained truthfully, then she shouldn’t have taken it so hard.

Edited after @newbee‘s clarification.

@newbee, oh, that sounds fine… well, things should probably cool down after a while. Nobody should break off a friendship for anything that silly. Anyways, don’t worry, and good luck!

@curiouscat Thanks. I didn’t get mad when she outright told me my chili tasted nasty…......maybe it just wasn’t spicey enough for her. :)

@jamielynn2328 well you can’t help what happened – I’d smile and say ‘I’m sorry I made a face, I don’t like it’

Maybe she lacks confidence in her cooking and it is a sensitive subject. Not your issue and you were still perfectly justified in your comments. Just a possible explanation for her [over]reaction.

seriously, it is her issue, not yours. I assume you presented the situation politely, that is what is sounds like….let her cool off. I kinda think WTF!!!

@newbee Wow, you didn’t say anything wrong at all! Hopefully she will get over it.

I believe that you did the right thing by informing your friend that you could not eat it. It would have been nice if she would have given you an alternative. Some people do become offended if their cooking is not liked due to the time and effort they have put into it. If your friend wants to be pisted-off and the food was burning your mouth, well, then let her be mad. Your health is more important. Next time, give your friend a “heads-up” as to what you can and cannot eat, depending on what the meal is. I say: wait it out a couple of days and wait until your friend contacts you, if they don’t contact you, then call them and leave a message (if he or she does not want to talk)- you are then placing the ball in their court. And you decide on whether it is worth keeping the relationship or not.

@newbee ” I didn’t get mad when she outright told me my chili tasted nasty…......maybe it just wasn’t spicey enough for her. :). Let me get this straight, 1) “your chili tastes nasty”, 2) doesn’t know(?) not everyone can tolerate spicy food, is someone who you want frienship with? You might need to value yourself a little better.

Oh I can so identify with you on the whole spice issue. I don’t even use regular pepper in my cooking at home.

I just have extremely sensitive taste buds. It wouldn’t even have a chance to make it to my stomach :D.

I think what you said was perfectly fine. What kind of a cook is clueless about the fact that peoples tolerance for spice has a HUGE range of difference from one end of the scale to another ? ?

But I make darn sure all of my friends and anyone I eat with (even in a restaurant) knows that my poor little tongue and mucus membranes have zero ability to handle anything peppery.

Because I’m a pretty adventurous eater eager to try any type of cuisine, I have found myself needing to frantically down copious amounts of water or preferably milk if something ends up hotter than what i was led to believe one persons mild csn very well be five-alarm for me

I certainly don’t get insulted at being laughed at for it. I know I’m just a wuss when it comes to hot and spicy and I always ask about level of spice before I take the first bite.

If someone is going to take offense at it that’s just too bad for them. This is what I was born with and it’s not like I can change it.

Hopefully, she’ll calm down in a few days. You did the best you could in the situation. You were polite in your explanation. If she persists in being an ass about it that’s HER problem. You did the best you could.

@newbee , you have been friends for a year and she doesn’t know how you feel about spicy food? I guess that is possible. I can’t get over someone outright telling me it is “nasty”. If someone is purposely trying to hurt and undermine you what would they say, instead if “it is nasty”?

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I did apologize for the face, but then I asked him why it was so personal. He said that he is a cook and food is his art.

@jamielynn2328 well every artist knows or should, anyway, that sometimes you have to make crap to get art

Maybe you guys just shouldn’t cook for each other any more.

Uh, no? You shouldn’t feel obligated to eat food that tastes horrid.

I totally agree with daemonelson. You weren’t obligated to eat food you didn’t like and had every right to tell your friend this. If it hurt her feelings, that’s her issue—not yours. Honesty might now always be the best policy, but it’s usually the wise one.

@Owl Well, it was hard to eat when my eyes were watering so bad. She used a lot chayenne (?) pepper in the sauce and it was just too much for me.