Hit me with your fave quotes/sayings:?

Do unto others as others would do unto you – only do it first.
Nothing Succeeds like a budgie with no teeth.

A Real friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be somewhere else.
Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.
You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.

“Any fool can make history but it takes a genius to write it.” -Oscar Wilde.

“I cannot live without books.” -Thomas Jefferson.

“The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man that can not read them.” – Mark Twain.

“Books are divided into two classes, the books of the hour and the books of all time.” -John Ruskin.

”Treat others as you would like to be treated.” – My kindergarden teacher after I cut some girls hair with those safety cutting things that I can’t spell.

Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
Sun Tzu

Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack.
Sun Tzu

I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.
Muhammad Ali

Follow the logic it usually leads back to the truth
Rafael Hypocrisy_Central

It’s not bragging if you can back it up.
Muhammad Ali

If you can actually count your money, then you’re not a rich man.
J. Paul Getty

“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”- My Nanna- and probably someone else…

Most folks are as happy as they make up their mind to be.
Abraham Lincoln

If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
Louis D Brandeis

A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
Woody Allen

Do what you like in your own home, but don’t do it in the street as you’ll frighten the horses: My Dad at my sisters wedding.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils… – Louis Hector Berlioz

Everything happens for a reason.

Let’s make better mistakes tomorrow.

OSCAR WILDE: (according to Monty Python)
Your highness, there is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Me:
There’s only one thing worse in this world than being talked about, and that’s being kicked in the goolies!

If you’re going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance.

Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.

Love me, love my dog (s).

Don’t do that – you’ll go blind

There’s many a clever fool in Hell.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (or a wife with PMS)

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. – Lao Tzu

All that mankind has done, thought, gained or been; it is lying as in magic preservation in the pages of books. -Thomas Carlyle

If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything, is ready we shall never begin. -Ivan Turgenev

We ought not to treat creatures like shoes or household belongings, which when worn with use we throw away. -Plutarch

We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the same sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-H.L. Mencken, writer, editor, and critic (1880–1956)

Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages. – Thomas A. Edison

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. -John Lennon

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish & the tyranny of evil men.Blessed is he who, in the name of charity & good will, sheperds the weak through the valley of darkness.For he is truly his brother’s keeper & the finder of lost children.And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance & furious anger those who attempt to poison & destroy my brothers.And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. Ezeikel 25:17. Actually learned that from Pulp Fiction.I’m not religious, just sounds like a cool thing to say.

It ain’t what you don’t know that hurts you, it’s what you know that ain’t so.
(attributed variously—i like Josh Billings’s version)

favourite movie Quotes: from A Few Good Men (1992)

Kaffee: Colonel Jessep, did you order the Code Red?
Judge Randolph: You don’t have to answer that question!
Col. Jessep: I’ll answer the question!
[to Kaffee]
Col. Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I think I’m entitled.
Col. Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I want the truth!
Col. Jessep: You can’t handle the truth!
[pauses]
Col. Jessep: Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: I did the job I…
Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: You’re Goddamned right I did!

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. – John Lennon

Everybody’s got something to hide, except for me and my monkey. – John Lennon

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you. – Oscar Wilde

Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not everyone is entitled to his own facts. – someone significant.

No, no, ignorant is good. You can’t fix ignorant. Just be glad they weren’t stupid. You can’t fix that. – my boss

If Bullsh1t was music, there would be a brass band playing in there
(Vinnie Jones on Celebrity Big Brother last night, talking about Alex Reid and Steven BAldwin)

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened

I can’t for the life of me remeber where I heard this

At the moment I’ve got “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” -Hamlet, running through my head so I’ll go with that. Though it lasts because it serves to remind me to keep an open mind and to expand my horizons when the opportunity arises.

Although on a more practical if verbose side I’ve always been partial to Hawkeye’s “I’d like a dry martini, a very dry martini. A very, very dry, arrid, barren, desiccated, veritable dustbowel of a martini. I want a martini that could be declared a disaster area.” in fact I just used that one last night.

Now that I’m thinking about it another favorite along the same line is “Just open the bottle next to the glass while you’re pouring the gin.”, I think that might have been Churchill.

“If you can make black marks on a straight from the time you turn out of a corner until the braking point of the next turn, then you have enough horsepower.” – Mark Donohue

Doh! – Homer J Simpson

Not all those who wander are lost – Tolkien

You must not come lightly to the blank page – Stephen King

@wonderingwhy “Madam, if you were my husband, I’d drink it.”- Churchill. He was awesome.

@reactor5 another great Churchill moment, when a female member of parliament said to him “Mr Prime Minister, I do believe you are drunk” and he replied “Yes madam and you are ugly but in the morning I shall be sober”

@RareDenver hah, yeah, we should be in his fan club. Peace.

You’re so fat you broke your foot with your shadow.

Gravestones cheer the living, dear. They’re no use to the dead. Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

“I Would Have Wrote You a Letter, But I Couldn’t Spell Rude Noise and that’s about all I got to say….....”
Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs

A gold mine is a hole in the ground, with a liar standing next to it.

I forgot this one and it is too good to omit

“Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid!”

Among the anthropophagi, a man’s friends are his sarcophagi.
Theory and practice are the same in theory but, in practice, they’re not.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. – Albert Einstein