What is your experience with victimhood?

about 40 minutes ago, i just disowned my family after deciding i don’t care about them enough to put up with their constant verbal abuse.

about two years ago my father had a stroke, leaving him irrational and hateful, my mother has gradually lost her mind, and my younger brother does nothing to help.

after a large argument, i now find my self in a situation where i plan on leaving the country and changing my name to make my self unfindable. as for how it will all turn out, i guess ill come back and edit in a few months.

@poisonedantidote: I’m sorry you are in this position. I can somewhat/partially relate. Good luck with it.

I have been wronged a few times in a really big way. Mostly by the same people. When I was younger I would be mad and then avoid them for a time, but ultimately continue to put my head in the lion’s mouth.

I finally learned two things:

1) I needed to ask myself, “Why does this person think they can treat me this way? What have I done or how do I act that makes them think it’s OK to treat me poorly?” Even victims play some part in their own predicament.

2) I needed to realize that staying in a relationship with these people is a choice. Regardless of title, relation, history, etc. you can choose to stop putting your head in the lion’s mouth.

Generally what stops us from learning these two things is ego and guilt respectively. If you can get past that, the chances of being a victim lessen greatly.

PS: When I say that “Even victims play some part in their own predicament”, I don’t mean random, senseless, violent attacks by strangers (rape, muggings. etc.)

My Autistic Son was throw out of the New York Learning Institute in college point queens ; because Jill Young and Sue Venner the two money Psychologist that were running it said, we were not donating enough money.
Chris Weldon head of AABR is just as money hungry and said, he could not help me. AABR only pretends to help people.
I helped start this school. I payed these two Psychologist out of pocket for a home for a based program for over a Year. I told all the millionaires they helped my Son.
My Son has been in a much better program in New Jersey since eleven. I cry because I know he missed time in the hands of these money hungry immoral evil women.
I Also blame New York state and NYC for not creating appropriate Programs for Autistic children .
NYC does not have any appropriate programs . Their Teachers do not know ABA the only documented method to teach Autistic Children. This is documented Scientific fact. Not my opinion.
I pray every day that they will all suffer till the day they burn.
I am educated and I would like to see their incompetent rank armature Teachers work at a real job. They would all be fired. They are lazy and immoral people.They have worked in my home. I fired them.
I hope G-d exist because if he does hell awaits them all.
New York state has a terrible educational system. NYC schools are under funded by the state. Jullani and Blomberg failed to help Autistic Children. May they all reap what they sow.

@cprevite thanks

@poisonedantidote: You are welcome sir.

Sexual abuse.

How did I feel? Violated/lost my innocence/dirty/ shameful

I didn’t tell anyone until I was in my early 20’s

Did I get past it? I’m working on it.

I’m not victim material. I have been the focus of attempted victimization but I make a sorry target. Not the kind of girl to roll over and pee on my chest like a whupped puppy.

I had one thing happen to me where I was a victim although I brought it upon myself. It felt embarrassing and painful. I responded by distancing myself from that person despite his wanting to “have some more fun.” I guess I’m past it. I don’t think about it much, and I don’t think it has affected me or my life at all. It had less to do with my attitude and more to do with my poor memory lol. I learned to not go to parties with frat boys.

The two worst disasters that have occured in my life so far were due to ‘natural’ causes. The support of my family, and my love for my child/his need for me, got me through it. I also read dozens of the popular psychology self-help books at the time, and found a lot of tips and ideas that helped shaped my resolution to be happy every single day for the rest of my life. That, along with my father’s philosopy in a nut shell “You don’t have to like everything that happens to you, but you do have to make the best of it”.

Yes, I have. I was filled with rage and I wanted them to suffer for what they did.
The rage just reinforced my sense of being a victim and poisoned almost every experience in my life.

I am not one of those who just turns the other cheek. I learned however, that I have to let go of the rage and the hatred to get past the horrible experience.

I don’t have to forgive or forget. I refocus my attention on living fully in the present.

If adverse experiences befall the parties that have hurt me, I won’t either celebrate or cry for them. I won’t run to their rescue either. I’m just so busy living in the present.