How do I move on?

Honestly, you just do.

It takes time. There aren’t shortcuts with this kind of thing. Mourn, and wait, and eventually there will be growth. It just happens when you don’t expect it.

Oh yeah, and stop pining. It won’t do you any good. That part of your life is over. Keep living. Keep functioning. Stop thinking about it, suck it up, and find your reason to be strong. Then you can move on.

When your life burns to the ground the ashes make the best fertilizer for a new life to grow. Take any lessons you learned and set your eyes on the future.

Growing past the loss of a loved one is painful at first but know most of us have been where you stand. You will survive so long as you do not mire yourself in self-pity or keep looking within for blame.

If you look up and forward chances are you will find a life better than you ever imagined possible. I know- it happened for me.

It’ll happen. Trust me, I know from experience.

As far as the ring, I was going to pawn mine, but I paid $600 and the shop would give me less than $150 so I decided against that. I was going to sell it to a friend who was going to propose to his girlfriend, but then they broke up. But now I’m glad I held onto it – I’ve given it to my girlfriend (as a promise ring, of course.. I would never recycle an engagement ring!)

Also, don’t go searching for love, and don’t jump into a new relationship too quickly to try and quell the heartache you are feeling. When you’re ready, the right person will come along.

Give it time. I know it sucks to hear that, because when you’re heartbroken, times seems to go by soooo sloooow. Focus your energy on moving forward in your life. Eventually, you’ll notice that you can go more and more time each day without thinking about your ex, until one day you’ll realize that you’ve gone all day without thinking about him, and then all week. It’s strange how that works.

You definitely will not feel this way forever – there are hundreds of thousands of people on this earth who can assure you of that :)

put the ring in a safety deposit box. Forget it. Someday it will be worth a memory or two.

Alternatively send it back if you feel nasty.

If you feel realy nasty you could video it’s destruction, put it on youtube then send the link to the concerned individual.

I wouldn’t do that, but the evil humor in the thought may relieve your pain. – the naughty fantasy, not to be acted upon.

As we’ve all said. Time.

I suppose coming here gives you a diversion. Throw yourself at other peoples problems for a while. Give your heart a rest.

Pay attention to something else. As long as you’ve got your brain glued to thoughts about this sad loss, whether brooding over it or trying to get past it, the event is still controlling you. Give some attention to something that has nothing to do with it.

Something like this might be a place to start.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Puppies.

Also, a hobby is fantastic. Stay busy. Then one day you’ll just realise that you really don’t give a shit about this anymore.

I really wouldn’t know how to get over someone anymore. When I was much younger I was in my first serious relationship, and when that ended I went downhill and fast, because I couldn’t cope. How did I get over that? It took me 7 years and a much better man after that. I carried his picture in my purse all that time, not one other relationship gave me the thought to destroy it. Until the one I’m in now.

I would think about all the things that I am good at and focus on it. I would look myself in the mirror and ask myself what do I want to be and go for it. Everytime I think about the person I would immediately try to think about someone else that I like. The key thing is to find the beauty and love within yourself. There are plenty fish in the sea and you are not a bad fisherman. You will get another prize catch…someone much better… Just focus your mind.

I wish I had that forwarded message. I recently got one of those tiresome forwards at work, but it said something that helped me as I’m still dealing with ghosts and regrets from my recent disaster of a relationship. It said, when god takes something away from you, he’s emptying your hands so you can hold onto something better.
All you can do is give it some time. That really is the best healer. In the meantime, try not to use too many adjuncts like, you know, substances. Distract yourself and get involved with other things.

Obsessive thoughts are very difficult to overcome. First you must come to the realization that they are obsessive thoughts. You are not only grieving the loss of someone you love, but you are also mourning the loss of the future with this person. You must realize that you are battling the loss of two very important things to you. Moving on happens only after you have allowed the grieving process to happen completely. Of course, you can try and fake it til you make it, which helps, but it is no substitute for reaching the final stage of acceptance. A relationship of 5 years is significant and it will take more time than perhapa you would like, but you must accept these things: Allow the greiving process to happen naturally and expect that you will vascillate through all of them before reaching acceptance. Start meeting new people and making new friends. That is not to say that you should jump into a new relationship; you should not. But start making changes in your life and replacing new habits with old ones. Get a new hobbie. Get involved with a charity. Pursue things that you have always wished you could, but never had the time before. In other words… Occupy your time and you will occupy your mind!. People come and go throughout our lives and there is no answer as to why they are here today; gone tomorrow. I have my thoughts on why, but I will save them for another time as I am here to support your question and need for closure and the ability to move on. It starts with taking the first step… and knowing that there is an end to the feelings and thoughts that you have. Fiull the time in between with something that drives you and fills your mind you at the same time. My two cents for what it is worth, as I have been there more than once in this lifetime and know what you are going through.