Just friends with a woman or maybe more?

I know you do not want to hear this… but very unlikely! She has issues and you cannot fix them as a lover or a freind. She is using you to feed an emotional hole. She has commitment issues and if you continue doing what you are doing, you will end up with a broken heart. You have a couple of options: 1) Play games and distance yourself and always keep yourself more distant then her, but it will never be a healthly relationship and one of push-pull… or 2) Let it go… and move on… and let her figure out her issues and what she wants and what she needs to do to change her behavior so she can have a healthy relationship (Whether with you or somone else). Regardless, you are in a lose-lose situation… and you must not allow yourself to get caught up in this dynamic. Figure out what YOU want, define boundaries (Deal-Breakers for you), and look/allow only people into your life that can meet your needs equally. Been there, done that… too many times to count.

Here’s what I think, being a woman myself. I think you give her time, if she needs to get over her ex, giver her time. If she’s living in the moment, give her time. Time will fix it, trust me. But, when I say time, I don’t mean give her like a year, but don’t give her a month either. Also, I mean talk to her, let her get used to you, but don’t push things that will just feel a little weird to her. An alike thing happened to me, I fell in love with this guy in college and he was like “the one”. Then, I figured, hey why not get to know each other a little better. So, we did, we kissed went on a date and whatnot. Then, once this had happened I thought to myself, this isn’t what I want to do right now. Maybe I need to expand my horizons, relationship wise or just physically. I still talked to him, but broke it off. He was clingy and wouldn’t let go of me, so I slowly took my time socializing with others and letting him find his way and see that my path was not what he wanted his path to be. That may sound tacky, especially to guys, but I’m just saying that I wanted to go another way, or at least not his way. NOT my thing. So, there, don’t be clingy. But, you can keep in touch, be friends and just let her find the time to see where she wants to go, who she wants to be with, and what she wants to do. Saying “I want to live in the moment” doesn’t mean that I want to stop seeing guys or am with someone it means that I’m still trying out different things and seeing what best suits me, just playing it day by day, but I, personally, would still be open to relationships just not serious ones. I hope this helps! and good luck!

She may not have any issues and just wants to be casual. You would do well to just be casual yourself and don’t become too needy. Live your own life and if you get together let it be what it is. If it becomes more whatever. But don’t make her your world and just give her space and live your life. Just chill.

Well I already have a broken heart lol when she said i like you as a friend. I just didn’t want that to fuck up our friendship because shes one of the only friends i have right now. If she has never said lets hangout I would still be sitting in my room playing video games alone and be content with it. Hanging out with her was one of the first times i connected with a person in 3 years . I felt like a human again. Sense then I actually want to have friends and go out and stuff.

@killerkadoogen
Hey. It was a great experience and naturally you’re going to be a little emotional because you let yourself be vulnerable. Move on to better things and new experiences.

This is easy to say since it isn’t me, but it seems she isn’t interested in romance. You might have caught her at a vulnerable moment and now she is regretting leading you on.
You know how good it felt to make out with her? It can feel that good to make out with another girl, if you would just allow yourself to get out and go find her. And I don’t really mean just “making out”. I mean finding someone you want to get close to, have a relationship with. Please get yourself motivated to get out of your house, away from the video games and just live life.

It wasn’t really the making out but the going out somewhere and talking to someone that got me. When we made out I didn’t really feel anything like that. When I got home from hanging out I started obsessing and couldn’t wait to talk to her again. Yeah I know you’re right Ive been trying to find someone else to get over her so I truly just be her friend. Its hard tho I don’t really know where to look. Even if I found someone there is a chance I wouldn’t go through with it. I am still a little boy inside and am terrified of females if there is any kind of attraction.

@killerkadoogen
It wasn’t really the making out but the going out somewhere and talking to someone that got me. When we made out I didn’t really feel anything like that.

You see how silly it can get? You’re obsessing over a girl you didn’t even have chemistry with. Sure a kiss isn’t everything but if that’s not there then there’s not much room to build a more substantial relationship on. It’s ok to be vulnerable. It’s hard for most guys to understand this but you can be vulnerable and confident. This can be a huge turn on for the right woman. When girls are young not as much, but as they get older do you think they want to marry a jerk and have children with him? But at the same time they don’t want to marry a guy who they have to raise along with the kids.
Like men they want everything.
The bad boy, rebel, sweet, father, strong, silent, communicative, listening type :)
Meanwhile just be the friend for a while and raise your confidence by speaking with women as if you don’t care if they like you or not. Just try to relate and overcome your inhibitions. And believe me, trying to push to make something happen and succeeding only to find out it’s a mistake is a far worse problem.

@SeventhSense The bad boy, rebel, sweet, father, strong, silent, communicative, listening type. Where can I find him? :)

Well…..unfortunately they both died

aww, how true. Thanks for the memory.

I have been friends with a guy for a long time. I know he is attracted to me, and would jump at the chance to be with me if I had ever given him the signal. I told him that his friendship means too much, to end up ruining it by a “relationship”. This was my excuse and way to be nice- the real deal is, I am just not attracted to him in that way!

With your situation, it’s very unlinkely that she will ever see you as anything other than a friend. Once girls get into the “friend zone” with a guy, it’s really hard for them to see the guy in any other way. (sorry to burst your bubble)

@killerkadoogen
There’s always the possibility that you can appeal to her by completely ignoring her. If you don’t want to be friends and she does you won’t get anywhere by indulging her. She has everything she wants from the relationship friendship. Don’t play this game.