How do I become better?

This is a good start. Social sites are a great source for conversation.

lol hi @Silhouette x

I would just be here – talk to me..I’m friendly and have no idea either what to do! x

@lynneblundell Hello good to see you. shhh

Try “practicing” on people that you don’t care about (friends, acquaintances). Get in the habit of smiling at people you pass on campus, of saying something when you are in an elevator with someone or standing in line next to them.

Talk the way you write on this site. Just be yourself.

(@Marina excellent answer!)

I have social anxieties and worry about all that sort of thing. Give yourself you time, tell yourself that you can do it and that you can talk to others and figure out how to stop giving a damn. I’ve been having a hard time with it, but it’s been working for me. Everyone is self conscious of what they’re doing, how they look, how they present themselves, and when you keep that in mind, it makes it a bit easier.

The secret to engaging someone in conversation is to ask them about themselves. Most everyone likes to talk about themselves, that is the easy part. The hard part is staying awake and interested in what they are saying, heheheh.

@rooeytoo Very good point!

@Marina – Thank you :- )

You would need to ask people what they are interested in. Then that will be the time they’ll start talking to you. Ask some follow up questions about what you asked or what they shared then thats the time you’ll share a little something about yourself.

Look into your local Toastmasters Club. They are tremendous at not only helping you feel comfortable speaking in public but they are a great bunch of people, of all ages, that can be great resources. I did it years ago and can thank them for where I am today.

@rooeytoo wonderful answer! It never dawned on me to do something so simple and obvious. I’ll have to try that one myself. :)

Maybe you could try a Toastmasters class. Even though you’re not looking to be a public speaker, you could learn some great techniques that might help you relax and just learn to talk casually.

@Trillian great minds think alike!

“What’s a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?”

Here’s something that worked well for me with my anxiety at social interaction.

I tried seeing every occasion where i had to do something that i was rubbish at (for example asking girls out, or speaking in oublic at) as a practice run. I wasn’t really personally invested in it, i was just learning how to do it better, practicing for the day i was really going to need it.

This really helped me take the edge of the nervousness, and thus i relaxed. Being relaxed, everything went better, and i started gaining confidence. After a while i could do it without feeling anxious at all.

Think about it, if, for example you are playing a game online, are you worried about failure? No. You are just practicing to be better the next run, to have fun and get better at it. There is nothing invested, and nobody will die if you do poorly. This is how life works as well.

Try thinking about everything you are anxious about as a practice run for the next time, I think is the best advice i’ve ever gotten for overcoming performance anxiety. After a while you will find you can treat everything in life as practice, and you will become more relaxed.

In nerd terms: treat it like an RPG, you are just gaining experience points so you can level up :)

It is very easy to talk to guys about classes you are both taking. They like to feel smart. They like smart Women too.

I’ve always been pretty shy, too. I found that talking to other shy people helps, immensely. When I know that they know where I’m coming from, talking becomes much easier.

I agree with @nisse a lot. The things you are good at are simply the things you have sufficient experience with. The things you are not good at are the things you need more experience with. For example, let’s say you spent the last 20 days at school having no less than 5 conversations per day. If that were true, you would have 100 conversations worth of experience that you simply don’t posses today. That is, you would be a different person than you are by virtue of possessing those 100 experiences and countless memories.

Becoming better at something requires experience or “practice” as @nisse referred to it.

Always try.

The best thing you can do is be claim and relaxed then the rest will take care of it self.