Is someone forcing you to watch pornography sexual harrasment/abuse?

Yes.

@avvooooooo ok thanks

Absolutely. Stay away from this man at all costs.

I would absolutely stay away and also tell someone. There may not be nothing that can be done about what he did to you but maybe you would be helping another potential victim of his. you never know if he did it then what is he doing now.

Is it normal to feel like it’s not real and I wasn’t molested…it feels like It isn’t real and it was just a dream but my gut is saying it happened and I’m now scared of guys…is this normal…did I maybe just dream it…I know he definitaly forced me to watch porn and him cyber but did I dream that he molested me? I just remembered he did in 2005 and now I’m confused….if I did dream it or not…I can only remember bits of it it’s like my brain blocked it out of my memory…well some of it.

Not only is it harrasment/abuse, but it is criminal. I knew a person who did similar things, and after alerting the police that person was monitored, and caught doign other acts with other people too.. This person is now spending a suitable amount of years in a jail cell.

If this person was doing it to you, then you can be 99% sure they are doing it to other kids to (and more), so anyone who stands up and says something is helping all the other kids too.

Yes. Terrible!

Yes, it’s a felony

I told someone because I couldn’t live with it anymore hopeing things would get better and they told my grandma and my grandma told my mom and my other grandma and my mom and one grandma got mad at me and then my other grandma phoned the cops and my mom freaked out on the cop and I was forced to make a statement but Im so comfused now….the cops them called social services on my mom and now I have to deal with them….

That is very normal cause it happened to me to when I was 5 also a family member he was 14 at the time. I did tell my mom and dad. but I waited til I was 11 to do so. There was nothing we could do but at least people knew. I felt the exact same way you did and sometimes to this day I am 28 years old now, I still wonder if that is what changed my life. If it had some kind of bearing on who I became. I will never know the answer to that but I learned to just put it out of my mind on a day to day basis. It’s hard and reading things like this bring it up but I am glad that I can offer you some advice on how i dealt with it maybe it will help.. Good luck and God bless

if you where over 18yo in 2008 i would not be able to say its abuse, specially as you was not forced and left and went to bed. well, maybe if he just put it on with no warning. however, this guy sounds like a total nut case and i would at least stay away and even consider reporting him maybe.

as for what happened when you was 5, and the cyber sex thing, yes that is most certainly abuse and something should be done about it.

EDIT: the porn thing would also be abuse if you where under 18yo.

@disturbed_broken what a mess. Well, you can’t change any of that now. Don’t beat yourself about it. You will feel better when it is all over. It will all be worth the stress in the end. It is good that you are dealing with the police. Do you know how much courage it took to come forward? It takes even more courage to deal with this whole process, but it will be worth it in the end.

@poisonedantidote
I’m 15 now…

@disturbed_broken then yea, he is being abusive and something needs to be done for sure.

Thank you for the answers everyone…it really helped!

Please consider getting some therapy to help you deal with everything that has happened. Best of luck to you.

@augustlan
thanks, social services forced me to go to counseling but it’s just not helping.

Yeah, I’d definitely say so.

Any chance you could follow him up? People just shouldn’t get away with stuff like that.

It takes time for therapy to start helping. It is worth sticking with.

definately

@disturbed_broken , If you don’t like who you’re seeing for therapy, find another therapist. If you don’t like the therapist, even if it’s not a huge dislike, it ruins it. It’s about trusting someone to listen to you and trusting them to help you. If you don’t feel that, find another one. Keep doing so until you feel that comfort because it really does make all the difference. There are great therapists out there, it just takes some searching. All the luck to you and to your future. To just tell someone about what happened is extremely brave and admirable. Not everyone can do that.

Therapy sometimes doesnt start really working until you are older and independant from your family. It is then that you can look back and realise the enormity of the events that happen in your childhood. You are still living your childhood so are not yet able to take full stock of your life yet but in time you will be able to. It is especially hard for you as your whole family are aware and I am sure that is hard to deal with – they all will have their own responses and emotions etc and might be making you feel as though speaking out was wrong because it makes them uncomfortable etc (it wasnt wrong it was absolutly right – you may well have saved children and young people from his future offending so thank you for that). Adults have a tendancy to put their emotional stuff onto kids maybe your job in therapy for now is to learn to sset boundaries with yourself and your family and with others. That way you will be protecting yourself from any future perverts who may cross your path. By setting clear boundaries and be confident in yourself you limit how vunerable you will apear and therefore might well ‘scare off’ anyone who may thing they can mess with you now or in the future.

I think that is the best advice I can give really. Strengthen yourself by surrounding yourself with things and people who make you happy and feed your self esteem. That way you will be strong and confident to recognise anyone again who may want to abuse you or take advantage of you. If I had learned to do this at 15 then I wouldnt have had a succession of further abusive life events which then followed because I didnt know how to set clear boundaries and respect myself.

Become a strong person inside. Ask your therapist how you can go about doing this. Good luck. I am sorry that these things happend to you. It was not your fault at all. You were never in a position of enough power to do anything. Now you are free from him learn to fill yourself up with powerful knowledge and inner strength and you will have ‘gained’ something from your awful experiences rather then be totally crushed by them as is so very easy to be. Again all the best.

With all due respect, tell the guy to fuck off.

Edit: Never mind, the guy doesn’t deserve any respect from me.

Yes, it absolutely is abuse – in time you may feel differently and stronger…when that time comes, report him.

that’s fucked up.

you’re probably pretty fucked up from that

@warribbons
yeah I am kinda messed up…
But that’s because I can’t trust any adult in authority anymore because my family back stabbed me to do with all of this…..and social services is all messed up and making things worse