Should I tell my boss I am bipolar?

Are you living in South Africa still? What kind of company is it?

I’m asking because I don’t know what the cultural perception of mental illness is in South Africa, and I think that it is important to know something about the education and background and personality of your boss before you say anything. Also, I don’t know what the law is.

In the US, I don’t think you can fire someone because of a disability. Bipolar disorder is considered a disability. So some people argue that it protects you to tell the boss.

The reasons for telling include that it is important for people you work with to know. If they see something starting to happen, they can be part of your early warning system. Some people just tell their boss, and other people tell everyone.

If you do tell, and they accept you, then you will probably have to educate them about what to expect. They may be afraid, simply because they don’t understand what bipolar disorder looks like. They might think you’ll suddenly go off in a fit of violence.

It’s such a sensitive issue. However, I think it is important to be as “out” as you are comfortable being. One in five people are supposedly mentally ill, but we all hide, so no one knows what is really going on. If you come out, you may find several others there who are also suffering. These people can all be allies, and you can support each other.

On the other hand, people are prejudiced. They can be scared of the mentally ill, and have wild images in their heads about what craziness will do. It could isolate you. Your boss might not react well. You could get fired (made redundant).

From a political perspective, I say you should go ahead and do it. From a personal perspective, I say don’t tell them what they don’t need to know. I haven’t told my boss, and he’s probably the kind who would understand. I also haven’t told my parents or siblings. There’s a lot of prejudice in my family against mental illness.

It sounds to me, though, that you need support. You live on your own. You can’t get through to your shrink. I think you don’t have a choice. I think you have to tell them and enlist them on your side. You have to explain that you don’t mean your moodiness, or what it does mean. You’re not going to survive there without support and they are the only ones who can support you. If they refuse… well, you won’t be there long, anyway.

I’d start with your boss, and see how that goes. Educate your boss first. Then think through, together with your boss, how to let others know and how to educate them.

Sweetie, I wish you the best. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be in your situation with no support. I know how hard it is for me, and I’ve got lot’s of support. Good luck!

Do they have bipolar support groups there? Those folks, if they exist, could help a lot.

I don’t know what the laws are where you live. In the US an employer is forbidden to discrimate in hiring people with handicaps, but they do anyway, merely stating a different reason for not hiring you. If you need the job and are not specifically asked any health questions on the application or in the interview, I’d advise you to keep quiet about it. The worst they can do is fire you later, putting you back in the position you are currently in, so no worse off.

I hate to say this, but I advise not telling them as well. People are likely to attribute your reactions to bipolar even if they are not.

This is one of those times when honesty may not be the best policy.

If you can’t see your doctor, make an appointment with a therapist. They may not be able to prescribe meds but they can help you work through this. If they think it’s important enough they may be able to expidete your appointment to adjust your meds.