Advice for expectant father from experienced fathers/mothers?

The best thing you can do is just be there for her. If the two of you have a birth plan, you can help to make sure the hospital staff is aware of it and sticks to it. Basically, be an advocate for her.

You can help her remember breathing techniques, talk to her to, encourage her, rub her back if that helps. Or, she might want you to just be quietly at her side once labor gets intense. I remember telling my husband not to talk to me at one point. Hold her hand, and take your cues from her. Ask her what you can do once you are actually there. She doesn’t know what to expect from labor and delivery, and can’t predict how she’ll feel. She might want you to talk to her and touch her, or she might want you just to be nearby. It’s different for everyone. I guess what I’m saying is to be flexible and don’t take it personally if at some point during the labor she indicates that she’d like for you to give her some space. :)

If possible, you can bring some things along to make the atmosphere more relaxing. A CD player with some soothing music or some massage oil might be nice.

Agree with @MissAusten about the just being there. From my own personal experience (x4), be under now doubt that your wife has the credentials to birth your child, and I’d keep quiet and just hold her hand untill she asks you to contribute.

Oh, and if your wife gets really tired and says she thinks she can’t do it, and the midwife asks you to go long, and lie about how far out the baby is, LIE!

My best advice in all honesty (since your the one who knows your wife best) is to try and enjoy the occaision no matter how scared you get, your heart will melt, you wife will instantly forget all about the pain, and you’l be be glad your were both able to experience the miracle of the birth of your child together.

Ps, make sure the gas’n air is to hand!

I agree with the other answers, be flexible and don’t get in her way. It is your baby and you will be a huge part of the experience, but she actually has to “do it”. Help her as much as you can and be kind and cooperative.
If she might get rude to you at some point, just say “yes dear, I am a son of a bitch, you are doing great!

Don’t eat in front of her, and, if it’s a long labor, try not to nap unless she manages to nod off. It’s very lonely dealing with the contractions on your own.

Don’t ‘hover’ too much!

Mother Nature will take care of your lady. you just be there for her. then, she and your new baby will be just fine.

You can’t predict what will happen so my advice: stay calm and stay flexible, look into her eyes a lot, pick up on her non-verbal cues and keep all people that are upsetting her in any way away from her – yes that includes all the relatives, your mother, whoever…she needs to feel supported by you…if complications come up, you will be nervous, stay stable for her…last labor I had, both that of the baby and my heart rates were off the charts – too high…doc wanted to do a c-section if the situation doesn’t change..my husband told him to give us time, told all medical staff to leave, closed the door, took my hand, looked into my eyes and started to talk in a very soothing voice and he began to tell me the story of how we met and how we got together and how we moved in together and how we decided to get married and all the details of our wedding and how he missed me when I was in South Africa and how we didn’t have a table for the longest time and how excited we were for this baby and on and on and on until my heart rate calmed down and so did the baby’s and I fell asleep as he put his cheek to mine and rocked with me a little…it saved my labor and I delivered vaginally within hours from that point

@PandoraBoxx LMAO, I was going to say the same thing. My husband left to pick up my mom and came back with a pocket of fries because he was hungry. I so wanted to kill him

@dphhaas Stay calm but don’t say things like this is the easy part, or you can do it, or I wish I could take away your pain, or its all worth it, and how does feel. These may be all good intentions but every woman bears pain differently. And we may not always react well to well wishes at the moment. She may look at you like you grew horns. We know its worth it to have a child but saying it isn’t going to make it any more bearable. And if you or the doc say this is the easy part and we already find it pretty painful, than we really don’t care to know it will get worse. Its ok to worry about us a bit. and coddle us a bit. I found it best when my husband said the least and just held my hand through the contractions. More importantly, afterwards when she goes to her room for some rest, go home freshen up and come back as soon as you can. She will dieing to have you and the little one together with her after they check him out well and let her rest a little.

Be very, very, very patient with her. More patient and forgiving than you have ever been in your life. Overlook anything that may hurt, anger or annoy you – do not take it personally . Its a crazy kind of pain and it makes us react in bizarre ways. I bit my husband

Also, don’t get upset if she seems to ignore you. We all react differently. Some women want to be held and reassured, others just want to focus and block everything else out.

A tip we learned in birthing class that I thought was interesting was to get a cold can of soda and roll it up and down her back if it hurts.

It’s a bit late now to give you this advice, but whenever some guy tells me they just got pregnant, I look him straight in the eye and say: “Go home right now and go to sleep. And stay asleep until the baby is born, ‘cause it’ll be MONTHS before you get to sleep all the way through the night!