How can I help my daughter boost her self esteem?

If it is serious you should take her to a counselor.

Only she can build up her own self confidence. You can tell her nice things about herself all day long, but if she doesn’t believe them herself if won’t do much good. Just be there for her and make sure she knows that you are. How old is she?

I advice that you make “a date” with your daughter. Go to a local icecream parlor or resturant that she likes. Treat her. She may just need your attention or something occurred in her private life that you don’t know about. It doesn’t hurt to speak with her privately and tell her that you’ve noticed that she seems to be a little down lately and that you are concerned for her. See if that works.

I agree counseling is important if she is really depressed. That being said what are her talents? Supporting them and giving her a chance to shine and excel in them can go a long way toward helping self-esteem.

Teenage girls are under more pressure today than ever. They are held to an impossible beauty standard, and are also expected to achieve, have lots of cash, lots of clothes, lots of “things” and start acting sexy WAY before they should have to deal with that particular issue. If you’re really worried, it wouldn’t hurt to have her talk with a counselor, either through the school or your church, or even a referral out in town.
You can “catch her doing well”. When you see her doing something at which she excels, praise her. Be careful that you’‘re able to be sincere. .Teenagers can spot patronization a mile away. Set her up for success. Make sure she’s able to do tings that she does well. Be careful not to overload her with extra-curricular activities. Kids need time to just hang out and relax.
Just be mindful of all the pressures she’s under and make sure she has someone to talk to. Keep us posted.

Communication will help any relationship, as will quality time. Encourage her to spend time with her peers. Tell her an honest compliment (i.e. “I’ve always admired you devotion to _____.” “Thanks for helping with the laundry today. That really means a lot to me.”)

It starts at puberty and ends at menopause. The best you can do is buy her ice cream.

Do you know why she is feeling this way? Maybe that would help you treat her. She could be feeling depressed over any number of things; homework, relationships, etc. Once you know what she is going through then it will be easier to help her. Although encouraging her in what she does and supporting her is always good.

Good luck to you and your daughter :)

Have a great deal of it yourself. Kids follow good models.

Praise her accomplishments.

Tell her that she is loved just as she is.

Downplay her failures. Praise her for her efforts. tell her failure is a learning experience.

Just wanted to say that I think it’s great that you noticed and want to help. :) There’s some good advice above, and don’t get disheartened. I know I was a bit of a pill from 15 to 17… but it got better after that!

It starts at puberty and ends at menopause. The best you can do is buy her ice cream.
….and of course i mean depression

Talk to her. Look at her life fom her point of view. Assess her likes and dislikes, her strengths, her skills, her desires, her interests, then continuously provide her with the opportunities for achievement relative to the assessment. Let her choose which opportunity she finds interesting. Always encourage, never discourage. Teach, don’t lecture. Guide, don’t push.

Achievement is the cure for low self esteem.

I remember having low self esteem at that age too. Mine was because I was really quiet and I hated the way I looked. I never talked about it, but I wrote about it in my diaries. I was too embarrassed to talk about it because I guess I thought it was stupid. I ended up growing out if it and learning to just love myself for who I am. I think it would be a good idea to hangout with her somewhere and maybe ask if anything is bothering her. Its important not to pressure it because she might not be ready to talk, but it is very important for her to know that you will be there for no matter what. Knowing you have a support system at home is extremely helpful.

Congratulate her when you see her working hard, but don’t succumb to the temptation to praise her for things out of her control (her looks, for example) or things that are ordinary (doing her homework.)

You could have her evaluated for clinical depression by a psychiatrist. It might not be related to her situation. It could just be brain chemistry.

gasp! no ice cream! correct me if i’m wrong, but teenage girls are too prone to eating disorders already. if anything, take her out for regular exercise and good nutrition.

mostly, i think what you want to do is help her to come to understand what issues she has in life and then help her to learn how find solutions for them. knowledge of how to begin and how to succeed at overcoming obstacles is a great anti-depressant.

More praises when she does something right. Give her something to do and tell her you like each good thing she does. A loving hug or smile will let her know she is doing it right.

Also remember that a certain amount of moodiness is normal at that age. I know my 14 and 15 year old girls can certainly appear depressed for a day or so, and then go on to have a day full of fun, followed by more “down” time. The questions to ask yourself are: Is this persistent? Or does she have periods of ups and downs? Is it interfering with her life? Is she crying all the time? Have her eating/social/study/sleep habits changed? If it really does seem to be depression, I highly recommend taking her to a counselor. If not, you may just need to let her know she’s loved, that you’re there for her when she wants to talk, and then let her be for a bit. Good luck to you!

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