General Question

killerkadoogen's avatar

How do I show love for someone without being romantic?

Asked by killerkadoogen (426points) January 11th, 2010

I fell in love, due to her situation she just wants to be friends which I am totally cool with. I still love her and want her to know . How do show someone you love them without being romantic? I just want to leave a cute post it note on her car at night or something, but don’t want her to think I expect more then just friendship.

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11 Answers

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Be a friend and be consistent. Don’t crowd her or stalk her but be available when she needs a friend.

Smile_loves_California's avatar

The best way to show someone you love them is by really listening to them and showing interest in the little details, such as how their day went, or what they think about certain events. Just be interested in what they think and feel.

Mrs_Rose's avatar

Writing her letters is okay as long as you don’t include anything in it you wouldn’t want her BF seeing. Buy her a CD she might like. Get her a thoughtful gift for her birthday. Little things mean the most, just don’t push the issue to much.

6rant6's avatar

Oh, oh! I know this one.

You need to know what her favorite candy is. Then make sure you are carrying it with you whenever you run into her. She’ll work it out.

bunnygrl's avatar

Just be a really good friend. If she’s said that she just wants to be friends, then you have to respect that, but sometimes great things can grow over time out of friendship. I married my best friend (and after some 27 years he still is). Little things (like the old song says) really do mean a lot. What might seem like silly things, like pulling out a chair for her, listening to her if she’s had a bad day or even a good day :-) Do you share any interests or hobbies? I met my hubby in the queue waiting to see the 2nd star trek movie and we were just friends for ages, but things can grow if they’re meant to.

Worst case scenario is that you don’t get to be a couple, but you do get to have a wonderful and likely life long friend and there are few things more valuable than that. In the meantime, concentrate on being friends but don’t close your eyes to other people honey. There might be someone out there who is thinking the same way about you as you are about her and maybe you’ve just not noticed.
love and hugs xx

Ellen's avatar

Help her as much as you can when she needs you and be attentive to her needs.

SABOTEUR's avatar

~ I don’t know…you’d have to ask my wife about that.

belakyre's avatar

Be what you are now…her friend. Be what she appreciates about you, I think that’s one of the best ways to show one’s love for someone.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

That post-it note idea has a creepy stalker-like aura about it; more likely to frighten her than have the effect you desire.

marinelife's avatar

Why are you wasting your time with this person? She is likely to get alarmed if you continue to leave notes for her. (And I wouldn’t blame her.)

She has told you she just wants to be friends and you “still want to show her love?” Yuck.

Do yourself a favor and move on. Look for womeone who wants to be more than friends with you.

You deserve love.

wundayatta's avatar

I know a lot of women want to change love relationships into friend relationships, but it is awfully hard. I think part of the reason they want to change something into friendship is that they feel guilty about causing their guy pain. Maybe some men are willing to take such a deal hoping that the woman will eventually come to like them in a romantic way.

It doesn’t work that way. Usually they aren’t interested in you romantically for some chemistry reason. You just don’t inspire those feelings they are looking for. If they ever do want you, they are most likely settling, since they are unable to find what they want.

I think it’s horribly unfair to ask a guy to be a friend. They hang out with the girl, constantly wanting, and not getting. It’s just torturous. Yet many men will suffer the torture because they can’t tear themselves away. The women—maybe they don’t get this. Could they possibly want to torture guys like this? I doubt it. They think the transition from love to friend is possible. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s different for them.

I agree with @Marina. I think you have to discipline yourself and let her go. That’s what she wants, and when you think about it, that’s what you want, too. Go. Suck up the pain and loss. It will go away, eventually. If you find someone new, it goes away especially quickly. Try to remember her rarely but fondly. Whatever you had was nice—a true sign that she liked you (if not that much). But a relationship wasn’t possible for whatever reasons there are. Probably neither of you know them all. It’s sad. Very sad. Crying sad. Such is life.

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