How do i tell my religious family that i believe religions are the problem with the world, when all they want to do is tell me that i'm wrong for not going to church?

Getting them to leave you alone and telling them that religions are the problem with the world are not the same thing, and you should really stick to the former. The latter is likely only going to create a fight. I’m not sure what the right words are, but essentially you just want to tell them that you don’t believe what they believe and you don’t intend to go to church. But depending on the nature of their faith, there may simply be no answer. As long as they aren’t being too much of a nuisance, you may have to live with them. It’s better than the final alternative – making them so angry they don’t talk to you at all anymore.

You pretty much just did. The real question is will they hear you. Be kind and understanding as you want them to be with you. Good Luck!

How old are you? If you’re a child living at home the answer will probably be different than if you’re an adult making your own way.

Be prepared for your family to not give up on this subject.

You can try saying, “I have told you my views on going to church. I am not going to go. We have to agree to disagree on this subject. I don’t want to discuss it any further with you.” Repeat as needed. Do not let yourself get drawn into a discussion.

Then, you have to be comfortable knowing your own truth. You have to not want to change your family’s minds on their beliefs.

Good luck.

religious belivers are known in particular for there unwayverd faith to the cause. depending on how faithful you family is you may or may not have a problem. if you are a minor than this will be an uphill battle for you because you are almost forced to adopt there religous beliefes. it might be helpful when you tell them, to continue to point out that you do still admire the moral belifes that their religion practices. adopt a sense of enlightenment on the subject. i disagree with marina in the sense that you should definatly let yourself get drawn into discussion so that maybe by the end of the talk/s your family may understand where you are coming from. although the dangerouse part of that talk/s may be that they most definatly will try to change your mind. hold fast to what you belive, and make sure you know why you believe that. if you do, they will get the point even if they dont agree. i had they same problem once, i went about it the wrong way, and my grandparents ended up thinking i was an athiest. just be carefull.

You can’t tell them, that’s why they’re still following the fairytale.

I would just not make it a point of contention between you and your family. You’re entitled to your own opinion, as are they. Unless they continue to engage you in this discussion, I would just keep changing the subject and move on. Families usually have other things to discuss/argue about, right?

You won’t be able to convince them of anything.

However, if you are an adult you can simply tell them you are not going to go. You could also get a job that conflicts with the timing of church services and tell them that you need to make a living. Or, if you want to give them something to do, tell them you are having a crisis of faith right now and do not want to bring any hint of the work of Satan into God’s house. Thus, they need to leave you behind when it comes to going to church, and pray for you while they are there.

If you are a minor and/or still living at home, your best bet would be to go along with the sham for now and develop a method of daydreaming or making mental lists to get you through the services. Once you are 18 and no longer live under your parent’s roof you can do what you want.

If you really want to shake them up, join the closest Unitarian-Universalist church. That tends to be full of the teachings of love and kindness without the guilt and judgment. It can also include Pagans as well as Christians.

@siren the problem was she didnt want to go to church n’such she cant ignore the problem.
@darwin she shouldnt have to get a job or go to another church or make up a lie to let her family know somthing important about herself.
if it wasnt for the fact that you didnt want to engage in the practices anymore, i would say just dont even talk to them abaout it, its a very sensitave subject thats better left untouched. but if you insist, i have to say that the worst thing you could do is point out the obviouse flaws in there beliefes, like how god seems to rule the planet with an iron fist or how theres no way noah could fit that many animals on one boat. just stick to the idea that “your just not comfortable with there beliefs and you need some time to adopt your own.”

@OrbenDiaz – I said tell them you are having a crisis of faith right now and do not want to bring any hint of the work of Satan into God’s house. Thus, they need to leave you behind when it comes to going to church, and pray for you while they are there.

That isn’t a lie. That is precisely what her family would say she is doing at the moment. By using their language she can get them to lay off her.

@Darwin, depending on her family’s religious denomination, that might backfire. There is no one who needs to go to church more than the wayward sinner. They would tell her that Jesus dined with publicans and sinners and that she too can come and pray for forgiveness and reconciliation in the open arms of Jesus, and of course that they pray daily that she will.

I have to agree that any contrived excuse is a bad idea. I think @Snarp‘s distinction is significant.

When I was in your situation, @ellesee, I was sixteen. I knew there was no arguing with them. I went along to church and went through the motions but kept my thoughts to myself. It did me no harm to do that as long as I could stifle the gag reflex, which I did out of respect for their feelings. As soon as I was out of the house (going away to college at 17) I stopped going to their brand of church but just attended chapel on campus occasionally while I thought things through. Eventually I abandoned religious and spiritual practice altogether, until (many years later) I took up Zen. I found that it was better for me to work things out in my own mind if the process wasn’t all mixed up with parent/child relationships, parental authority and expectations, family pressure, love, guilt, nostalgia, holiday customs and traditions, and everything else. It’s an important decision. Best to make it with a clear head.

Been there tried that. Only response was signing me up for more ridiculous church activities that made me more miserable. Don’t even try, just tolerate the once-a-weeks. If you tell you might be doing the three-times-a-weeks like me.

well, im a life long positive atheist, and i can tell you now that while there is quite a lot of truth to your claim that religion causes problems, its not exactly correct.

the problem is not really the religion by its self, its the mind of the person who believes it, and even then its not always the case. religion is more the excuse, or the justification given by people who do wrong. if you get rid of religion, you will still have the exact same people causing problems, but they will do it in the name of conspiracy theories or something else.

furthermore, as @Siren says, there is no point trying to antagonize them or doing anything that will have negative effects on you too.

i would simply tell them, that its not for you and that your reasons are your own, the more you debate this with them the more likely you are or turning them against you in some form or another. if you are going to debate your parents on this issue, make sure you have all your arguments well prepared. there is nothing wrong with leaving the debating for another year and just telling them for now that its not for you.

I have found that silence is the best policy… you don’t want to turn into the very thing you are criticising…control, guilt and judgement… let them believe, follow your own path…everything will work out…just right

I’m not very religous, I have a lot of problems with religions. Try to show them some of your beliefs without getting to emotional. I know I get really excited and start yelling when I try to explain my beliefs and problems with religion.
Give some examples of how religion has gone wrong.

I believe that religions exclude people simply because they don’t have the same beliefs.
I wouldn’t want to worship anything that you are suppost to fear. You should follow a religion because you agree with the ways, not because you are afraid of being punished.

I saw a tv religous guy say this… he’s pretty smart and level headed.
Is man more just than god? We put men in jail for 120 years. Do you think that God is less kind and forgiving than man? The bible may say that you burn in hell forever, but forever doesn’t mean eternity. Is Sodom and Gomorrah still burning, nope it is ashes. the term “forever” is a perspective, something that seems to last a very long time because it is so agonyzing but it does eventually end.

I can’t remember the preacher guy’s name but it comes on on sundays he is skinny, and balding. on a network channel… nbc abc cbs or fox sorry I don’t remember better details

@Finley LOL I’m sorry you had to go through that.

tell them you would go if it made sense to you, but it doesn’t.. so you won’t.

@Blackberry… you have no idea. I felt like I was forced into a chanting cult.

I had to do the same about a year back. It really depends on your relationship with your parents. I have always been able to be open with mine, and even though I knew this would hurt them a lot it was better than continuing to masquerade to them and half my friends. In my opinion, it is best to take it by degrees. Start out by doing something different on your day of worship, if they will allow it, like hanging out with friends or working. Then tell them that you have some issues with religion and wish to go to church less. Once they are comfortable with going by themselves a bit, tell them what you think in a tactful manner. Whatever you do it will hurt people, but the most important thing is to give your parents time to adjust to the new ideas. Best of luck!

@poisonedantidote Although I disagree with atheists (being Catholic) I do like your response. It isn’t religion that causes bad, its the people. Any one-religious, agnostics, atheists-could do bad. I would like to thank you for being someone who realizes this.

Ask them whether they believe in free societies, pluralism and the freedom of religion.

By the way, not religions are the problem, but people who try to use religion to implement their hidden political agendas.

Well telling them that religion is the problem is going to cause problems regardless. But if they keep bothering you because you’re not a believer, then it’s apparent that they don’t have respect for your right of free thinking. When someone questions your position and pushes you to believe in something your gave up, rationally that is, then that’s when you know that you’re trapped until you do something about it.
Just tell them why you don’t believe and wont think otherwise until these glaring problems (whatever they may be for you) are settled.

for starters, you don’t argue beliefs with them; you listen to them, and do your own thing, proving that you can be the decent, respectable, successful human being they had hoped you would be without going to church…. takes time (but, gee, don’t lose touch with your spiritual self! like, that would be way bad, man!)