What to do about my crazy mixed-up love story?

If you feel that strongly then no, you shouldn’t forget him. I think the most important thing at the moment is for you to find a way where you can communicate regularly. Maybe Skype, which would be free, if you both have computers?

Love knows no boundaries and if it’s meant to be it will be. Could you forget him? That’s what you have to ask yourself, if you could then more on. If you can’t then embrace it, enjoy it, and love it!

why should it be such a problem? go see him ( summer!) then have him come see you. or meet in hawaii. then get married. I ring over all the time and it’s cheap! so why can’t you just ring?

How old are you?

Keep communicating and then plant to meet sometime during some traveling! At least you won’t be strangers!

Let me guess, you are a teenager, yes?

Keep it casual. If you are geographically separated by thousands of miles, why not come to a mutual agreement that you will both continue your lives as single folk but remain friends and keep in touch, and if or when you see each other again you can enjoy each others’ company.

Don’t forget about him, but don’t put your whole life on hold for him either.

sighhh. yeah, I’m a teenager…(not a young one though!)
@lilikoi. That’s exactly what we agreed on. Exactly. But that’s so hard. And painful. My issue is, since that’s likely not to lead anywhere, wouldn’t it be better to cut off all communication? Cuz this little tether is holding me back, no matter how much I try to not “put my life on hold.”

@Judi /agree

Also, is there any way you could make (semi-)permanent arrangements for one of you to live with or near the other?

I’m in a long distance relationship and we have plenty of obstacles (and a major one coming up very soon; she’s moving an additional 3000 miles away) that are bumps in our road. I went there over the recent holiday season and my life had been changed. In the airport she snuck a small box into my bag that while sitting waiting to board the plane I found and open. It contain a small bottle with a scroll held inside by a small cork glued into it, fastened onto a silver chain necklace. I began to tear up thinking of our relationship when I noticed a protrusion of paper under the white cotton protective bottom in the tiny box. I pick up the cotton and saw a neatly folded piece of paper which I grab and it read something that I would like to share with you.
“Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands where all else has fallen.”
I began to cry; which is an awful thing to do in an airport when you’re smiling creepily between sobs, just fyi. as it held true to our relationship well.
If you really have feelings for this person, real, strong feelings from the heart- hold out for him. It will be worth it when you’re in his arms after all that waiting. Don’t let it hold you back in life as someone had previously stated, and don’t let it be the sole thing driving you forward- a balance is key. If he shares these feelings for you it would be foolish to break it off merely because of distance.

“Here’s the catch: He lives half-way across the world.”

That is as far as I needed to read… End it and move on.

IMO :-)

Build on the depth of the friendship and cool it on the desperate passionate longing and you will have a friend for life. What may come of things years down the road remains unknown.

@Syger : When you are in your 20’s or 30’s and are in a long distance relationship with someone you’ve been committed to for 5 years, it is different from teenage romance. Although I have met people who met in high school and are now married, I’d think the probability of this happening is not great. As you get older, you evolve. You get to know yourself better. When you are 20 or 30, you may have different criteria for a compatible mate than when you are in your teens. In my teens, if a guy looked good that was enough. Now, looks are enough for a casual friends w/ benefits kind of thing but certainly not for a long distance relationship. That requires common values and interests, among other things.

@aceofhearts : I know it sucks! If it helps you to cut off all communication, do it, at least for a while. Maybe you could explain nicely to him that it is too hard for you to keep in touch regularly because you care for him too much, and that you will contact him when you are ready. He should understand. He may turn out to be a great friend and a good connection to a place you like to visit, so I wouldn’t cut him out of your life permanently or anything.

You just need to know the realities of what you are looking at. That boith of you will change a lot in the next few years. That most of your time is not spent together.

It will be hard for your relationship to survive.

That said, if you want it to work, one of you has to move where the other person is. On a student visa or something. Because that is the only way if you will know whether what you have is real.

@Marina : Yes but moving is a huge commitment that I wouldn’t have wanted to make just for a guy when I was a teenager. If she or he could find another good reason to move – like better job opportunities or a stellar educational opportunity – that would be a different story. Then again, I came from a super poor family so I couldn’t afford to indulge in adventurous whims. If OP or OP’s friend has the financial resources to do so, it might be a fun life experience.

The reality is that distance makes matters difficult… you are fooling yourself into believing that you guys have a future together. . . If i were you, I would start weaning away from the online connection and look around your surroundings. You don’t need to cut-off the guy out all together. Just be fair to both yourselves and take the opportunity to meet local people.

unless you are at an age where you are sure he is the man of your life, you want his babies, marriage etc i would end it, otherwise i would go for it!

The romantic in me says, find a way to make this work. The practical me says that it doesn’t seem likely that it will work. There are so many obstacles, the money involved in traveling to see each other being a big one. I wouldn’t cut this person totally out of life at this time. Stay friends and maybe at some future time, you can reconnect.

Just do it!!

ok, from the perspective of someone who has had a lot of long distance relationships that never work out. I’d say you ought to end it, or at least test the waters and see if you’re long distance relationship holds water compared to a person that you could see everyday and get to know on a personal level.

Talking on the phone, online, on video chat or what have you is not going to move the relationship forward because you are not experiencing things together and learning about each other in a natural way. Your conversations tend to be about your day in your life and to be honest thats fun for a while but it wears on you the longer you’re doing it.

Just remember that the person on the phone is not the same person you are envisioning in your head. And more likely than not, they are not worth the heartache of not seeing them on a regular basis and growing the relationship.

Thats my advice take it or leave it :)

love can overcome all obstacles
you will find that if you love someone deeply you can try to figure out a way for your lives to converge in one location – maybe not tomorrow but in the future

When life hands you a bunch of lemons, make lemonade. Pursue your ‘impossible’ relationship to the max. Document everything in a diary. You may overcome all the obstacles. Who knows? And even if you don;;t manage to get together and live happily ever after, your diary will give you the nites you’ll need to write one hell of a grreat love story.

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. Many times you can learn more about a person by what they write than what they say. I believe is that when you write you think more about that you want to say then how you ware speaking it.

I would say you are not crazy or anything of the sort to believe you have feelings for him and he you. I would have to ask, what is keeping you here or him there so you can’t be together on a regular basis? If there is a situation, a real one, then you have to ask, how long will it last? I think you can draw strong feelings from a person you contacted but never met by what and how they said over the Internet, the truth would be how durable you’d both be when you get together to see how each other living habits are daily.