Why do we hang onto those who reject us emotionally despite knowing better?

I no longer dream of doing that, having finally realized that my ex- was a bum and I deserve better.

I used to think it was my fault that a relationship tanked…now I know that it takes two…I’m not resposible for how people treat me if I’m being true to myself.. I’m only responsible for how I treat others…I guess I saw a broken relationship as a personal failure on my part…and my resposibility to fix it…
even the Mayor has people disliking him…so I guess I can accept that too

There was something that attracted us to the loser in the first place. I think we hang on to a loser hoping to get back to the place where we first fell for them, that if we say or do or be the right way, things will be good again with that person.
(That, or we are just really pathetic.)

i dont know why i hang onto those who dont want me, like right now. I’m hangin onto this guy alex, but he isnt just anyone, hes my best friend, id die for him and he would do the same. the only problem is that he doesnt see me like that…instead he likes my sister… :/

@babygirlbubbles Keep him as a friend – look for a lover.

Man, I let go of my glorious past a llllloooong time ago!!! Sure we had fun ditching school together, but man, if they refuse to embrace reality, time to cut them loose. That was then, this is now!

Attachment can take hold rather quickly. Plus, we have a rather strong tendency to continue to pursue any kind of failed venture, rather than cut our losses and start again. Humans really are idiots, that’s why I quit a few years back.

Cutting ties to people who are irreversibly toxic in our lives is the most self-affirming thing a person can do regardless of whether the person was a friend or is a relative.

People who won’t or “can’t” do this lack self-esteem or clear sense of what they need to move their lives forward.

Growing as a person takes insight and resolve.

In this kind of situation you have to make a clean break or quit complaining!

I have mostly let go and I feel lighter, more content. I think my blood pressure is down. My ex began to like alcohol more than me and I kept trying to ‘fix’ it. I said mostly because one little part of me says,-‘well, if he quit drinking so much’. But I was shaking my head even as I typed that.

It’s a habit. I start feeling comfortable with having that person in my life and chatting with them regularly, even if half the time I walk away upset.

I remember a friend of mine when I was seven who routinely made me miserable. I would go home and cry to my parents about how bossy she was. I didn’t cut my losses and let go, but this is one of those instances where a happy ending worked itself out. We’re still friends. She’s less bossy. I’m less wimpy. I think the fact that this happened when we were seven is probably significant, though—we still had to grow up. I’m sure that I wouldn’t get any kind of happy ending like that the next time.

Because we are human and creatures of habit.

I think it is mainly attachment is very hard to let go of

@dutchbrossis Isn’t that circular logic?

attachment means the tendency to not let go.

Changing our thinking that is associated with our feelings is hard to do.

It takes self-awareness and hard work to recognise irrational beliefs that maintain inappropriate thoughts and actions. We need to challenge faulty thinking if we want to change how we act.

I lost many so called friends when I refused to tolerate their attitude. I grew up and they did not. I moved on. They gave me no choice.
You can not allow people to ask you for help and never be around when you need help.
We all need help sometimes.
When my Son was diagnosed Autistic. I found out who really cared about me. The ones who always asked me for help couldn’t be depended on. My so called best friend was the worst one. A needy Child who had no empathy for me.
I accepted reality and became stronger. Sometimes it takes tragedy to force us to face the truth. If she called me today. I would hang up on her.
Do not allow people to use you.

@Dr_Lawrence
Change is hard Dr Lawrence. I had to suffer to change how I dealt with people.
I use to be so very nice.
Now I am a practicing bitch to anyone who attempts to take advantage of my family.
I should ware a sign that says bullshitters not welcome here.
I have little tolerance for know it alls, lier’s, cheaters and people that are totally self absorbed.
Deep down I am still the same but I can automatically detect deception.
Life is the best teacher.