How can I get rid of bad memories?

My first question would be: Are you living in circumstances which wouldn’t allow you to go on sabbatical (eg parents, commitments)?

My second question would then be: Can you afford to go on sabbatical?

I just saw the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – seems like you need to go see that doctor. Failing that, I doubt you will be able to forget everything that has happened. What is your real question?

You must retrain how you view those things that happen in your life. Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it! It is all about perspective… Change your perspective, and change your life!

Simple: therapy.

I suspect that therapy may serve as the best help. You sound as if you may be suffering from depression.

I’m not religious.
I live in a dorm.
That movie was kinda cool.

My question is my real question.

Unless you feel like becoming an alcoholic, druggie or killing yourself, you can’t forget everything. I understand perfectly that life is shit a lot of the time, but there’s nothing you can do to forget. I feel your pain… Message me if you feel like it.

@janbb I LOVE that movie! I’ve wished several times that such a procedure existed.

Unfortunately, there’s little you can do to really “forget” unless you start taking hardcore drugs (which, by the way, is not a good solution). The most you can hope for is to work on accepting the past and moving forward from it. Therapy is great if you’re willing to do the work.

Ooops, looks like @DrasticDreamer beat me to it on a few points there. Sorry about any redundancy :)

You live in a dorm, meaning that you
a) Are in circumstances which would not allow you to go on sabbatical, and
b) Most probably cannot afford to go on sabbatical anyway

Actually guys, I totally understand the want to forget everything. And I know that it isn’t possible yet for @Shield_of_Achilles, but the thought of travelling by myself for a few months to a foreign country (or to the other coast if your country is vast enough) is very relaxing and I feel that it will help to put things into perspective. Especially since your life would be considerably simpler when totally alone faced with nobody else’s thoughts but your own.

Therapy will help, especially to help you understand what’s going on with you. But after that I still strongly suggest becoming the lonely traveller when you get the opportunity to (unless therapy already solves whatever’s bugging you).

Don’t knock it till you try it. But hypnosis is a known therapy that works. My aunt quit smoking for it. It has been known to get rid of some pretty bad memories.
I don’t know. Give it a try.

@Maximillian I’ve heard some great things about hypnosis too, assuming that you find the right practitioner.

I’m a firm believer that there’s always a way out of any emotional turmoil – sometimes, it just takes a lot of work and perseverance. Tackling any hardship from multiple angles is a very good idea, even if not everything tried works.

You cannot forget it just by thinking to forget it. Instead, engage yourself in your favourite activities, so that those memories won’t come in your mind.

However, you may try these:
1. Write whatever you want to forget on sand on beach, and see the ocean waves erasing it; think that it is being erased from your mind too. When you feel like your mind is being emptied or emptied, fill in good thoughts in your mind looking at the Sun or sky or just beach.
2. If you are angry on somebody or something, write it on a paper and burn it. Throw away the ashes, and feel relaxed.

But, the best way, I think, is ask God. Plead him. He will definitely help you out!

@prasad If there is a god. He most definitely does not like me enough to do anything for me,

You don’t need to go to a therapist, unless something traumatic happened. Like losing a parent, a best friend, or someone really close to you. We all go through bad break ups, and the best thing is really to have the time of your life, trust me. Go bungee jumping, skydiving, anything risky like that will get your mind off of things. It may sound stupid, but it really works. Hope you find everything you are looking for

She was my best friend.
Lost them both at the same time.

@Shield_of_Achilles Yes, there is God. There is God in you too! He definitely not only likes you but also loves you very much.

We see God, unfortunately, as last refuge. If all doors close for us, we go and pray God. He is willing to help us out, but he has given freedom to us and he doesn’t want to do against it, so he waits for us to ask him. Think how could he be feeling, when he loves us and really wants to help us, but cannot do so. Even if we go to him as last option, he is happy to help us. So, it is us who should ask him to help us, and he will, just see asking; there is no loss in asking him, isn’t there?

God loves us as a mother. Whatever you do, even hate him or curse him, he always loves us. And, I am sure he will love you too!

Every night I ask him for 1 of 2 things. A better day, or an end to life.

My days are slowly getting worse, and I keep having them.

Explain that one there comrade.

Will you consider going for counseling? A place to start is the counseling center at your college. They can give you a referral to a therapist.

I know exactly how you feel…I’ve got many many vivid bad memories…were people who in past and still in my present have done things that are very hurtful and subsequently their actions have created painful repercussions.

Obviously you’ll know we can’t switch our ‘head’ off as we would like…it’s all in our long term memory and hits us when we least expect it to…it just takes that certain situation or trigger to bring it all back.

And forgive me if I sound patronising…it’s definitely not my intention as I don’t know your story but I do believe things happen to us in order to shape us as a person and we learn from it either as a negative or positive experience.

Reflecting on my life and memories I’ve tried to understand where people where in their life at the time and as a result it may have impacted and influenced their actions however negative they may have been…after all as they say nobody is perfect.

I’m not saying that I have forgiven all the people who have hurt me for their negative and selfish behaviours but I have tried to understand…and that has served to help me to deal with the pain and the bad memory maybe.

i hate to say this but you don’t. the best way of getting rid of them is by not getting rid of them but instead getting over it. the more you try to ‘forget’ about it, the more it’s bother you. like if you say, i will not think about starbucks, you can’t seem to get it out of your head. but if you start acknowledging the thought, you’d suddenly be thinking about another thing.