What's the stupidest thing you've done to injure yourself?

By accident, I snipped off the tip of my thumb with scissors.

I have blocked them all out. Must be brain damage from one of those stupid injuries.

(Answering as Val’s son, Chris) My Mom doesn’t do stupid things, but me….where to begin?! How about….playing tackle football with your friends…and the end zone is the street.

When I was younger, I came downstairs to the smell of freshly baked brownies, said “Yuuuummmmm!” and grabbed the sides of the pan. Much to my stupidity they were indeed freshly baked as the pan was scolding hot. Spent the rest of the night with cold packs on my hands.

On New Years Eve, I dropped a stainless steel paper towel holder on my big toe right at the joint. It turned black & the whole foot & ankle swelled up like a balloon. Within the week, I had to try on 3 pair of shoes to find one I could get into. It was VERY sore…I was eating Advil & pain pills, sitting at night with an ice pack on it. It’s FINALLY settled down. I can’t believe something so simple hurt so bad & did such damage.

I was once running to a cardiac arrest in a hospital. I didn’t notice the resuscitation cart in front of me, and slammed into it with my left foot. I broke the foot, and needed an orthopedic boot for the next 3 months.

Went barefoot to a “white trash” party. Got really drunk on PBR and Jack Daniels. Stubbed toe on sprinkler on the way to the car (I wasn’t driving). Probably broke it. (the toe, not the sprinkler.)

It was Christmas morning many years ago. As I was running downstairs to the tree in spastic excitement, I decided to completely skip about 5 stairs and ended up slamming my forehead into the corner of an end table. This is what my mother explained to me, because I don’t remember it at all. When I lift my eyebrows up to wrinkle my forehead, you can still see the mark.

My man was chasing me around his old apartment two years ago. I slipped on a cardboard box (unopened) while rounding a corner and broke my toe lol. It finally healed a few months ago.

Changing a bulb, I feel over backwards off the top of a 5-step ladder and crashed into a short bookcase. I lay there for a long time convinced I had broken my back. But except for a bruise on just above my butt that lasted for weeks, I was ok. Most of my injuries over the years (besides constantly cutting myself with sharp instruments) have come from falling down or falling off.

I was using a chisel in Wood Shop class. I wasn’t paying close attention and I accidentally stabed myself in the thumb. Ended up getting five stitches.

I was doing somersaults and backflips in the pool, decided that it would be really cool to launch from the edge of the shallow end and end up with more room in the deep end. That didn’t work. Smacked my forehead into the bottom of the pool. Lots of blood, but nothing serious.

I had been drinking one time and I decided to jump of the roof onto a trampoline. I thought I broke my leg, but thankfully it was just sprained really badly.

When I was 7 I tried to do a no handed cartwheel and messed up my elbow it still hurts sometimes.

Long story, but in the same weekend I got hit in the head with a heavy glass door, my foot ran over and hit by a truck. All due to my stupidity…I have since then wised up!

When I was working at a print shop, I had a habit of playing with a stapler when we were slow. One day, while talking to my production manager I was absent-mindedly playing with one, and sent a staple right through my finger.

I also punched a monitor after losing about 6+hours worth of work (even my incremental saves where dead). This was an old style, heavy-@$$ CRT monitor. Sprained my wrist.

In the early days of our courtship my future husband took me tubing for the first time ever. He was going nice and easy at first, then he’d stop and say, “You done?” and I’d yell, “That all you got?” or something like that, and he’d get a little rougher each time around. The last time he stopped and asked, again, “You done?” I….well…I flipped him off! Shouldn’t have done that! I was freaking airborne, ass over elbows, tuck and roll, within 8 seconds!!

@sjmc1989 How does one “Get hit in the head” by a door? Doors are stationary!

I was making paper airplanes when I was younger with scissors. They sliced through the paper and cut my finger pretty bad. Almost had to get stitches.

Well it was my fault because I drank entirely too much and was dating the world’s biggest moron! I had passed out outside and he was drunk, tried to carry me inside, but didn’t judge the door very well and when it closed the metal part of the door hit me right on the eyebrow. Apparently, there was a lot of blood, but I don’t remember any of it. I just woke up in pain, a band-aid on my brow and totally clueless. This is why I choose not to drink anymore.

The great thing about Fluther is that you can get a GA for doing something stupid. ;-)
See above.

I was playing on one of those metal tumble bars during recess in the second grade. I was trying to do that trick when you sit on top with one leg in front of the bar and one leg behind, then you swing yourself around. (sorry, I can’t remember what the trick is called.)  As I fell forward to do the trick, I didn’t realize that I had both legs in front of me. I fell 5ft. down, flat onto my face. I ran crying to the restroom with sand and blood all over my mouth.

I can really be a klutz..

@jonsblond ROFL!! Well…I was good enough to actually DO it that way!!

when I met my husband he took me on a hunting trip and I started my period in the night- I was too embarassed to say anything so I jumped out of the vehicle and and tripped over sage brush and broke my foot. and he didn’t believe me and called me a baby then felt bad in the morning when it was bruised to my knee.

@trailsillustrated :( Warning signs….why do we always ignore them??

I forgot a beaut. When I was 10 or so, I jumped off a second-floor balcony to test a parachute my cousin and I had made out of a sheet. Above I said “falling down” and “falling off” were two ways I’ve always hurt myself. Add “jumping off.”

@Austinlad That takes the prize so far in my book.

Thanks, Snarp. I walk with only a small limp. (just kidding)

I was jacking up my car when I crushed my hand, as I got the car to the right height to position the axle stand the jack slipped as I place the axle stand into place under the car, I was still holding the jack handle for support as I leaned under the car to place the stand, as I did so I pulled the jack out of place causing the slip,, all better now although I do have some visible scarring on the back of my hand to remind me not to be so stupid again :-/

Anything you do TO kill yourself is stupid, but once I did accidentally THAT nearly killed myself was to carve a turkey with a paring knife (toward myself) Luckily it only went in half an inch, I never could have explained attempted hari kiri at Thanksgiving dinner.

@galileogirl LOL! Yes. Totally uncouth to commit hari kiri at dinner, even it you’re only having tacos or something!

College freshman. Had a major crush on the cool art guy. He walked by and I was trying to pretend I didn’t notice him, but also be nonchalant and foxy. I started walking with more swing in my hips, threw back my shoulders to lift up my rack and tried to stand up straight – it threw off my balance, I fell and landed right on my knee on the pavement. I screwed up my kneecap, had a brace on for at least a week and now have a small scar as a reminder of it all. I looked like an IDIOT.

Broke my wrist playing in a charity dodgeball tournament. Shattered kneecap on the front bumper of a Buick Roadmaster carrying a pizza, trying to check out 3 cute girls walking by. Thank God for insurance.

i sliced my wrist open a couple of years ago I sliced right down to the bone.. I could see the fat and the wound gaping open…one night when I was drunk and feeling shitty about myself (because I’d just kissed a guy I wasn’t truly attracted to… but it had been so long since I’d felt a man’s touch….) when I was on holiday with my family… it was really hot weather…and we were on the beach the day after so everyone knew anyway, becasue there was a massive bandage on it…. it was just a really bad thing to do…

@figbash LOL! Well, did he ask you out?!

I was around 9 and the only girl; sorrounded by boy cousins and my brother. In an effort to be one of the guys, I accepted the challenge of my older
brother, as to who could reach the bike outside; as we were running in the house, it became apparent that I would
be the winner. As we approach the door which led outside, I crashed THROUGH
the glass door (it was so clean, I thought it was open). My left hand was cut all the way to the bone; to this day, I still can’t bend my pinky!

By the way, my brother’s response? “I won, I won!!

I was cutting a piece of hardwood flooring with a tablesaw. I should have used a jigsaw. Anyway, I was stupid and for some idiotic reason lifted the piece up a bit. The saw, of course, grabbed the piece and my hand and pulled them forward at an insanely fast speed.

This is where I am insanely lucky.

I basically dadoed out a groove in my thumb about ¼” wide, and inch and a half long, and an 1/8th of an inch deep. It also took a nice layer off of my index finger. I bled instantly, and profusely. I was suprised how calm I was. I saw no missing digits, and no big dangly bits, so figures I was good. I called for my brother to bring me a bandaid or three. He was a little freaked. We washed it out and wrapped it up and I went back to cutting a new piece of wood.

It stopped bleeding after around 10 hours. It was a slow bleed due to the bandages.

It did hurt a bit, but my pride almost more than my flesh.

This was this Tuesday.

Oh, there was also the time I was thrown out of a vehicle that was rolling over, and up over a telephone pole. I landed on my feet, thereby breaking both of my ankles, chipping the front off of two vertebra, and shrinking in heighth an inch.

That’s what I get for giving a friend a ride to a restaraunt!

Oh, and my insurance wouldn’t pay for anything. My vehicle was totalled, I couldn’t work, I was fubar, and my ankles cost a bit over $52,000.00.

I was told I would have died had I not been tossed out.

Good times.

My little brother cinged his butt lighting a fart while drunk.

Oh, my brother was throwing a sharpened broom handle like a spear. He threw it straight up, and it came down and stabbed him in the head. We had to go to the hospital with his head out the window with the handle still in his head.

He claims to be ok. We all know he’s buck nutty.

Ahh, memories!

@Judi omg…that’s the best laugh I’ve had all day.

One evening, I was back in my room watching tv when I decided it would be nice to have some ice cream. I took my flashlight and went into the main house to get myself a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I fixed a nice big bowl and was walking down the porch steps back to my room. There are two (count em.. TWO) steps to my porch. I thought I could be all cool (or whatever, I’m not sure what I was thinking) and skip the top step. I landed on the lower step with half my foot on the step and half off the step lengthwise (so, from toe to heal, half on half off) and my ankle rolled out. I hit the ground. The first part of my body to hit the bricks was the outside of my ankle. I sat there and yelled for my mom… who didn’t hear me for a good 2 minutes. (Meanwhile, I dug into some mint chip ice cream.) When she finally heard me and came out to look she saw me on the ground and asked, “What are you doing down there?” With an ankle swelling rapidly and a semi-eaten bowl of ice cream I answered, “Having a picnic…” Then I told her what really happened and she helped me back inside. My grandma looked at it and saw how quickly it was swelling and suggested that I go to the emergency room. We got there at 830 and left around 11. I came home on crutches with a hairline fracture in one bone and a break in another.
... that was the first time I broke that ankle…
The second time (and not long after the first) I broke it when I was walking to the bathroom. Since my room is detached from the main house and doesn’t have a built in bathroom, I use the bathroom in the washroom attached to the garage. It was dark and there was a puddle in the middle of the walkway. I was in socks so I thought I’d go around. The only real way around was either a) in the grass (which I decided was probably also wet) or b) over a potted plant. I chose b… b stand for bad idea. I jumped the potted plant, slipped, and ended up back at the emergency room with more fractures and breaks in the same ankle as before.
The end.

Reading these replies is reminding me of more injuries. Another thing that happened in Wood Shop class was when I was cutting a piece of thin plywood and it got jammed and flew back at me. It hit me in the thigh and I couldn’t run for a few days, I even had to miss a baseball game.

Speaking of baseball. In 8th grade I was playing baseball and I was running home. I slid to try and beat the throw but I got hit in the mouth with the ball (I was safe btw). It was a big bloody mess and my braces saved my teeth from being knocked out.

When I was 5 years old I ripped the skin off my tongue. It was hot outside and I wanted to lick the ice in the freezer to cool down. Yes, I know it wasn’t a very hygienic thing to do. My tongue got stuck, I panicked and pulled my tongue away from the ice with my fingers. The skin stayed behind.

I did alot of stupid things in my later years, but there’s too many to mention.

My son’s cousin talked him into peeing on an electric fence. The same son also slammed the toilet seat down on his tallywacker when he was about 3. OUCH!!

I wish my husband would answer this question. He has a funny story (we can laugh about it now) about poking his eye on a needle from the Christmas tree several years ago as he was putting the lights on it. I had to take him to the hospital and he ended up with a patch over his eye that Christmas.

@Judi you are killing me tonight. :)

@jonsblond the men in my family can be pretty Laurel and Hardy.

loving the word tallywacker

@lynneblundell , I bet it’s great with a British accent!

When my son, Chris, was 3 he said, “Mom! Watch this!” and threw a half-brick straight up in the air, and stood there grinning stupidly at me…but not for long. Three stitches in the top of his head. My son….every time I turned around, especially when he was little, it was like, I’d turn around, see what he was getting ready to do and I hear a deep, slow motion, “NOOOOOOOOO!” coming from me, and I felt like I was running underwater trying to get to him, and never could get to him in time. The first time was when he was two, and I turned around to see him standing on his 3-wheeled, Big-Wheel, reaching up, up to try and open the back gate….“NOOOOOOOOOO!” Six stitches in his chin that time. (By the time he was 6, he’d had stitches in his chin 5 times.)

@Judi oh yes it certainly is :-D

@J0E That’s not stupidity, that’s just good base running.

Mine all involve my fingers for some reason. There was the slamming the car door on my pinky finger. Not broken. “Crushed” is what the doctor called it.

Then there was the time I was using the hand held blender and for some reason completely unknown to me, I decided I had to scoop something out of the grinding part of the unit. I remember thinking, “I’m safe as long as I don’t push HERE.” And yes I did. Amazing not just how deep, but how many cuts those things can deliver in the blink of an eye.

And finally, the best. I worked high school summers in a job that involved an acetylene cutting torch – much of it outside in 100+ degree heat. I’m offering that as an excuse for obviously loopy thinking. Anyway, I turned on the gas and struck the flint a couple of times. No flame. I thought I could hear the gas coming out, so I put my finger in front of the nozzle to check. Yes gas was coming out. At about 1800 degrees. It’s hard to think of a way to describe exactly what it looked like. I guess the closest is a cartoon where a character lights his finger thinking it’s a cigarette. Sweet.

@6rant6 LOL! I think you get the prize! But it reminded me of something.

In HS science we were using straight ammonia for some experiment. There was a beaker of ammonia and a beaker of water. The teacher had warned how potent this undiluted ammonia was. Well, at one point during the class I couldn’t tell which beaker was the water and which was the ammonia….so I put my face close to one of the beakers and took a big sniff….and damn near knocked myself out!! I told the teacher I was going to the nurses office, and why. I have never seen a clearer, unmistakable “Man you’re stupid!” look in someone’s eyes as I did in my teacher’s eyes! Oh Lord I had a headache.

Ooh @Val123 reminded me of another stupid incident. I was about 16 and I was at my friends house, her mom poured ammonia she uses it to clean the tools on their farm into a tub. I remember she said that’s my cleaner don’t touch it, well at that time the only cleaner I knew that looked like that was Pine Sol which I have an infactuation with, I just love the smell. So what do I do, I say “Oh yay! I love Pine Sol!” before her mom could stop me I took the biggest wiff of ammonia. I started blacking out and I had a headache for hours. Her mom about killed me!

The friend’s mom in that story was like my second mother and I always got really hurt everytime I went over there. Another time I got hurt was, I was running on their treadmill this was the type of treadmill that you had to push the tread with your feet to get it started, it wasn’t electric before I got on her mom said for me careful because the handles are broken on it. So I jump on it and give it the biggest push start ever and I am running hard like I’m in a damn marathon. In the midst of running I pushed a little too hard on the handle and it broke in two and I went flying over the handle and cut my leg open. Her mom loved me, but she said I had a slight problem with listening. I would say that is an understatement!

I was playing frisbee and dived for the plastic disc and somehow managed to break my thumb.

I’ve done that whole walking into a lamp post thing!

@sjmc1989 We gotta start our own “Stupid Girls Who Sniff Ammonia” club! It’d be super exclusive, ya know?!

@lynneblundell I still have the scar from where my glasses cut into my eyebrow. Damn lamp post. I don’t know why the EPA doesn’t do something about them.

Back when I was a 20-something Dumbass, I was walking home drunk after a party one night and saw some guys harassing a woman in a park. So out of the darkness I came, soaring through the air in a flying kick at the biggest guy in the group, just like Bruce Lee. I flew right past him, hit a concrete wall and broke my leg. They beat the living shit out me while the girl ran off. Mission accomplished, right? What a dumbass.

I tripped on a carpet in front of the tv cabinet because I was trying to avoid my cat. I hit the dvd player with my arm and it came crashing down with me and landed on my head. The other side of my head landed on the coffee table. I lay there for a minute, in a daze… Than I reached for the entertainment center to help me get up and knocked the tv over. It landed on my knee. That kind of hurt.