When men wear womens underwear, is this actuality or reality?

When they actually wear them, that’s reality.

When they’re only fantasizing about wearing them, it’s not reality.

Transvestitism is very real.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transvestitism

I’m not sure what you mean by differentiating between “actuality” and “reality”. I’m pretty confident that those two words mean the exact same thing.

What exactly are you asking?

A guy I knew in college had a “secret” fetish of wearing women’s lingerie. He would order them, or even steal his female room mates occasionally, put them on, and take pictures. He even ordered some offline with a girl he was flirting with (though it would turn out she was just laughing the whole time and was not at all interested in him… but frankly who wouldn’t?)..... He actually would show these to girls online sometimes.

I specifically remember one night my sophomore year, I signed into facebook late at night. And saw that Ryan, my buddy, had posted an album (this is right after they added the picture thing on FB). It looked like there was some girl in lingerie on it, so being a young man I immediately clicked on it. Then it opened to him in lingerie (he’s a skinny/lanky guy so he was confusable with a girl when in thumbnail size), and I about threw up. When I confronted him about it he said they were photoshopped, and took them down before I could click back. Later in talking with mutual friends I found out that multiple people had seen them.

I’m not wearing any panties right now.

The way you appear to be using the words, there is no difference.

Its reality. People wear all kinds of things. Get over it.

What is the difference between actuality and reality?

I am afraid that I have no idea what your question means. I’m assuming that this man was no hallucination, as you and your wife both saw him, therefore it must be reality.

Furthermore, putting the word ‘man’ in quotation marks as you did, is quite offensive. The fact that he was wearing nothing but heels and a girdle may suggest that gender dysphoria is not his main issue (that is if he identifies as female, and there’s a fair chance he does not) but still it is not fair to ridicule somebody on the basis of their failure to subscribe to traditional gender roles.

Frankly, I prefer French Onion soup. But that’s just me.

wearing women’s underwear doesn’t mean one isn’t a man. that’s the only response I could muster.