I need help on being more outgoing?
So..hey everyone, I’m in grade 10. Last year I didn’t go to any school dances or anything, because the dances aren’t just for my school, but the whole community with 5 schools and Iam also shy. This year my goal was to become more outgoing, last Friday was a neon dance but I did not go. The question is how can I be more outgoing? Also the thing is when I usually go to dances the girls always leave me alone and I just go and sit and watch everyone else have a lot of fun:(
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if your with someone (bf, gf) then go with them. But i’m guessing your not, so go with a group of your friends who wont leave you alone. Why are they your friends if they’d leave you alone and go off dancing?
No I don’t have bfXD. Anyway I’m going to try and go to the next one:)
Why not go with your friends as a group, and stay with them.
Being shy is awful, I understand.
Just look yourself in the mirror and say ‘I AM going to the dance and I AM going to enjoy myself’. Go to the dance with your head held high, laugh a lot and try to join in. Eventually this will become a natural way for you to act, and it won’t be an effort.
I wish you luck.
@oh..thank you im gonna try and I’ll let you guys know how it goes when the next dance comes;D
If you have an interest or hobby look in your area for groups or clubs that do the stuff your into. It’ll give you a group of people you have stuff in common with and you can hang out with them.
I used to play basketball, when I moved to another town I stopped and started doing Taekwondo martial arts:)
p.s there is 1 boy I really like there, but we never even say hi to eachother:(
You should try and say hello to the guy you like.
Make conversation with him about anything, a topic in class, something in class you find difficult, anything. Smile at him, and try and be confident.
When you pluck up the courage to speak to him, you will gain natural confidence, and that may help overcome your shyness.
My granddaughter was going to Martin Luther Middle School with a girl that had this same problem as you. lets face it, she was a wallflower. she shyed away from everybody and everything. my granddaughter routinely would bring her home after school, since they were best friends. one day, i decided enough was enough for this girl. her name is Robin. i sat down with Robin and said. “Robin, today is the start of a different day in your life. from this day forward, your new name is ROCKIN’ ROBIN. your new name means a new personality for you. time to come out of your shell.” did this work? you would not believe the difference in this girl. she joined the school dance club, announced to her fellow students that her name has been changed and when she graduated high school, everyone knew her as Rockin’ Robin. just check out her school annual at all the positive comments for her. its really funny how just implanting a thought in a persons brain, that can make such a difference in their whole life. today, Rockin’ Robin is in college and wants to be doctor. i am proud of her.
Ok, is youre main idea about being more outgoing to go to dances? If it is then like most people said you should go with somebody. On the otherhand, if you are looking to be more outgoing besides going to dances then just start talking to people. You have to start somewhere so just try talk to people and i think its easier to become outgoing then because youll be getting to know someone. And dont worry about what the other person is thinking just be yourself.
@kurtman , No I don’t just mean outgoing for school dances and stuff, but like everythingxD. Sometimes I just talk to people like I know them:O and sometimes I can’t even breathe.
When I was younger I moved from place to place & found it hard to mix with the other kids at my schools, I was quite shy too & hated the thought of rejection, as I got older the need to speak up for myself increased so I decided to set myself goals, one thing at a time, I would mull stuff over & over in my head until I had enough confidence to just go do it, even just saying Hi to someone was a hard task for me just like it is for you with this guy, try not to let things play on your mind, if you think about it for too long you might never do it, just start with a simple hello, there are no scripts, we all make it up as we go along but try to be yourself, people tend to lose interest when someone is clearly over doing it, don’t forget to smile, I know this might sound dumb but when I was a kid I used to practice in the mirror to see how I looked, it’s then I realised not to take myself too seriously Lol.. Good luck…… ;-) you need to find common ground with people, something to connect with, a hobby or interest things will soon pick up pace…
@Scooby wow you really did it;D im happy for you. Anyway me and that boy aren’t in the same school, but we are together in martial arts:O. I always catching his eyes looking at me, and I would smile but nothing else
I was the same way in high school… these days, I never get nervous around other people. What helped me was realizing that social skills are learned which means they can be improved. So practice! If you see someone that you want to talk to, go for it. Keep the conversation focused on them – people respond better to that than if you constantly talk about yourself. And don’t beat yourself up if the conversation doesn’t go as planned – it takes two to talk. Have fun at the next dance and good luck! :)
Thesexier, you may not be as shy as you think. Having the nerve to post such a personal question and wanting to be more outgoing tells me you will accomplish it. I was a shy kid, and remember vividly how tough it was, so I truly empathize.
Feeling more confident in yourself will show and be expressed to the people around you. The more you open up, the more people are going to feel comfortable around you. If you feel like saying hi to someone, or going out of your way to help them even just pick up a piece of paper they dropped, do it! What are you to lose? Be outgoing in a friendly way, not an obnoxious way like disobeying teachers or being rude or making shrewd remarks. But, go with friends to the dance or any dance, feel free to walk up to someone and just start dancing with them. This may sound like crappy advice, but it works, form my past experience. Opening up to people (not dishing out your personal troubles or problems though) and letting them see the real you is the best way to gain friends.
Here’s something.
You could always try just being yourself. Maybe you’re just the type of person that is meant to be shy. It’s hard for shy people to become more outgoing because they have an instinct not to be the first one to speak up, or to say, “Hi!” to everyone they see..
Maybe people see you as shy, but also mysterious and interesting? That’s never a bad thing.
Perhaps instead of worrying about “going” to the dance perhaps you could volunteer to help at the dance. Doing so will give you a reason to be there without the added pressure to have to fit in and you still could watch everything.
@Thesexier
Yep I came out of my shell OK, once I got enough courage to open my mouth & join in, it was a bit like the thought of jumping into a cold swimming pool for me, I just put my toe in first so to speak to test the temperature then my foot, leg then I just settled in, you soon get accustomed to it, it just takes time.. Try to think positive dare to be optimistic, once your confident enough it should be plane sailing…As for the guy in your martial arts class, you already have something in common, take it from there ;-)
@Scooby , well I will try next time:D. But with the guy I really don’t know
@Thesexier
Good for you!! Forget the guy, there’s plenty of time for all that, you just have fun & enjoy your next dance…. ;-)
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