Do you have a quasi-scientific theory of some kind, completely unresearched and unsupported, that you secretly like to believe even though you know the facts would probably disprove it?

Yes I do.
I have often wondered why cows (bovine) have four teets.
I have my own theory about this, and I would like to know the real reason, but I like my theory too.

Won’t you tell us your theory?

Once upon a time there was an omniscient/omnipotent force that had no beginning nor end. What this force had was a capacity for boredom. It was everything and everywhere for Christ’s sake. It lacked surprise and wonder. One day this force, its name was Kevin, decided to scatter and partition its infinite consciousness into the whole of its being. BANG! Suddenly Kevin was hurtling through his newly created reality in the form of uncountable subatomic particles. Each particle, and the space in between them, was Kevin but he had removed from himself the part that remembered they were all part of a whole. Every particle hurtling through space was Kevin. The space they hurtled through was Kevin. The planets they became were Kevin. The stars that held them in place were Kevin. The entire universe was now a particulated Kevin, experiencing every single aspect of reality, as a distinct and separate consciousness. As Kevin expanded, evolved, and became ever more complex a funny thing happened. He began to remember himself. Not a full recollection, but a feeling that all of his little separate Kevins were actually part of a whole. A majority of these Kevin pieces were content to feel this pull and know that they were part of a bigger picture. A minority, that called themselves humans, felt the pull a little stronger. Some believed the pull they felt was the call of their Creator and they began to imagine ways they could be reunited with this Creator. They developed a mythology and a set of rituals that they believed would help them achieve this goal. Some felt the pull as a challenge to understand and map what this pull was and why it affected everything around them. They sought to find, through methodology and experiment, why this pull drove them so. Still others were happy to be in the dream and did not want to wake up. They whispered in the ears of any who would listen that we are all individuals. Who were any of these other groups to try and wake us from our wonderful dream? Who were any of these others that wanted to explain to us we were simply insignificant parts of a whole we couldn’t even truly comprehend? And now here we are, confused, divided, and arrogant in our forgetting.

Most mammals that have one or sometimes two offspring at a time have two teets.
Mammals that have a litter all at once have two rows of several teets.
Bovine cows have 4 teets, but they usually only have one calf at a time, sometimes twins, rarely more.
My theory is that man interfered and with cattle breeding and bred into cattle the four teet udder.

I have a theory that the pineal gland is effected by great magnetic forces in which if the planets force changed in a dramatic way would effect the way humans view the world. The pineal gland is subject to be believed it’s able to release the chemical known as DMT to some scientists. Also the pineal gland is known to have been active during close to death encounters and thus where the ”tunnel light” comes from. I believe that what we see is only a minute portion of what’s really there and through evolution we might be able to see the whole picture later in the life of humans. If we survive the universe that is.

Jeruba – this is kind of weird but Ive had this weird idea for ages that we need sleep because of a build up of a green fluid in our brains.
We go to sleep and after weve slept the fluid level goes down !! A lot of nonsense I know, but Ive always thought about if they discovered a way for us to get rid of this fluid by extracting it then we wouldnt need to sleep !!
Ive always had a vivid imagination LOL

If it is unresearched and unsupported, it, by definition, is not a scientific theory.
Therefore, the answer is no.

Quasi-scientific, @ragingloli.

“Quasi” means “as if”: resembling, having some but not all the features of. It might be scientific-sounding in character and expression but lack any scientific validity.

Young children typically have such ideas about themselves and the world, their own explanations of their experience, sometimes fueled by misunderstanding of things they’re told and sometimes the result of deliberate (even if well-meant) adult deceptions. Education and wider experience usually correct them, and in time they may forget them entirely. If such ideas persist into adulthood in an imaginative way without interfering with a reality-based understanding, they are more playful than otherwise. They’re problems only if they’re delusional (e.g., the neighbor’s dog is sending me dreams that command me to do evil things). These harmless and quirky personal theories are what I’m talking about here.

This question is for imaginative purposes and not for the purpose of masquerading as science or misleading anyone.

I’ve always figured that black holes are actually punctures in the fabric of the universe and that outside the universe is dark matter. Because dark matter is so damn dense, that’s why black holes suck everything into them.

I also used to think that noses were the ugliest things on the human body. I figured that we had no use for them and that they were just there to keep people’s faces from mushing together when they kissed. As I have learned, they are very ineffective at this. :P

@Jeruba: Good response to @ragingloli. Also, excellent question!

ive always liked to believe that “aliens” are our future selves. and we come back to visit at times…to see an earth we once knew. sometimes we “abduct” the people we loved. or perhaps the people we were. the whole parallel universe thing.

I have a quasi scientific theory that the clothes dryer eats socks – just one of every pair.

But of course! I believe that the universe is expanding but that due to a slight curvature of space time, just at the point where it would seemingly reach the Big Chill with every single atomic particle so far from any other that it became a de-facto Big Nothingness, it will actually collide back into itself at the point of origin and there will be another Big Bang.

All I need to do to prove my theory is figure out how to live another 1 trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion years and then survive the next Big Bang to report I was right all along. :-)

I hope you all stick around because I will announce my great discovery when life on earth reevolves and gets sophisticated enough to reinvent Fluther!

I have a similar, but not as elaborate, dream theory. When I am dreaming but in a semi-awake state (so I guess it is part dreaming, part daydreaming) I have noticed that my dream cannot continue along the same path if I turn my head to the other side. If it was an emotional dream, it begins to turn more practical.

For example, if I am dreaming about being kept away from someone I love and am desperate and upset but have tried everything with no luck then turn my head, I will start to find ways to make it work. They may not be logical, but dreams usually aren’t.

On the flip side, if I am dreaming about something like going on vacation to the beach and everything is fine then I turn head to the other side, something like losing my daughter or having a hotel room full of bugs will take over the dream.

I have always thought different sides of the brain are stimulated by the position of my head and my dreams take on sort of a type A or type B personality of sorts based on which side of my brain is dominating at the moment.

i have a conspiracy theory too! i think big corporations work together to make people sick and sell them drugs to keep them sick.. or to make people think they’re sick…when really they’re just sad. and then if they’re sad too long they want them to believe they need drugs to make them happy. numb. lethargic. so “the people” dont care anymore how these “corporations” screw you over. they’re trying to design a people who bend over and take it up the a$$.

Definitely – I have this completely unsupported theory that all Russian immigrant children that remain in Brooklyn after being done with their high school education rather than go to colleges in Manhattan end up being more close-minded when they grow up.

I have a theory about dreaming as well!

Whenever I have a very detailed, realistic dream I think it’s my asleep consciousness piggy-backing on the mind of another Kate in another universe and experiencing everything that she is experiencing.

When you die, your “heaven” is actually the ability to live in and freely explore the dreams you had in life.

I have a theory that when young children are growing developmentally at a rapid pace, the neuron synapses cause the brains to itch from the electricity, and it causes temper tantrums.

My pediatrician sort of confirmed it, or at least he told me that is theoretically possible and that he wondered the same thing, because parents would come in complaining about temper tantrums, and then bragging on what junior just started doing.

Attraction to the same-sex (or the opposite for that matter) is based on the ability to smell the pheromones of that sex. Bisexuals must be able to smell both.

The more melanin in your skin the less wrinkles you will have. This comes from my observations that people with darker skin seem to age less quickly.

@tinyfaery not to rain on your parade, but I’m 27 and a smoker of 15 years yea I’ve been trying to quit and if I went clean shaving tomorrow I could pass for a high schooler, lol. I’m also quite, um, white. ;)

27? hahahaha. Sorry buddy. You don’t qualify.

@tinyfaery haha, well I notice the difference between turning teeniebopper’s heads and when I go to the liquor store. ;P

@Axemusica lurve for being 27 and using “teeniebopper”; my dad used that word all the time. It makes me think of him.

@tinyfaery There’s some science behind your lelanin theory. Melanin is more prominent in people from equatorial areas with lots of sunlight because it protects the skin from harm from the sun. That same protection reduces the aging effects that exposure to the sun causes in every fair-skinned people.

Careful, now. We don’t want to cloud this thread with facts. :)

The Bible says when Jesus Christ died on the cross, he took on all of our sins, before and after.
My theory is if I am good, and don’t sin, I ease the anguish of the Lord on the cross a little.

I believe that nearly all the ills of mankind can be solved by using a form of directed brain waves or brain activity, and we could discover how to do it by concentrating more resources on bio-feedback machines research.

Just popping in to say I love this question and the answers it’s getting!

Thank you, Augie! Don’t you have any theories?

You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But if I do, I’ll be damned if I can think of any of them! Maybe I’m just not science minded. Boo.

I think most things we consider infinite must actually be a loop. Like time and the universe. But I’ve always thought it’s too silly to even mention to colleagues in physics.

It took SO MUCH! restraint not to start ‘splaining dreams and talking about cerebrospinal fluid here!!! :)

I have this theory that human beings, if given all that they need to never lack for food, drink, sleep and sexual partners and knowing that everyone else had exactly the same but no more could like in peace and never feel the need to fight or make war.

I know its absurd, but that is my theory.

@janbb, I can explain to you about the socks. For centuries we have been puzzled by this problem. Even Xanthippe complained about it to Socrates (but then, Xanthippe complained about everything to Socrates). People have even speculated that there is a planet somewhere (or a puncture in the fabric of the universe) where the lost socks gather, kind of like a sockal Neverland.

But, you see, our speculations were based on two false assumptions: (a) that the natural state of socks is to be coupled and (b) that if you find an odd number in the dryer, one is missing.

Here, my dear, is what you didn’t consider: those odd socks are not real socks from your laundry. They are extras. They exist not in pairs but singly, and they rove about the universe unchecked, waiting their opportunity to find a dryer to sneak into. They are Rogue Socks.

Tell me, do you ever really match up and count the socks on the way into the washing machine? I thought not. You only do this afterward. And then you think there must be an equal (or smaller) number than you started with. You never suspect that there might be a foreign stowaway. This is how the Rogue Socks have gone undetected for so many generations.

Sometimes you can catch one lurking in the dust underneath the dryer. Haven’t you ever found one there that nobody claimed and in fact that you believed you had never seen before? There you are.

Every once in a while, the vigilant can catch one in the act. Only yesterday I did! I opened the dryer to put in a load of red-colored holiday items that I had saved up to launder all at once and not with anything else. There was not a sock among them. But when I opened the dryer I found a single black sock in hiding, waiting to sneak in. I arrested it at once.

@nikipedia, bonus points for your laudable self-control. It was you that I was watching out for. Now that I know you can successfully fight the urge, maybe I’ll give you one of my other brain theories. This one’ll really make your fingers itch.

I lost a sock on Sunday !!
Did it disappear delibarately ?

You mean, from your foot? It was probably turning renegade and joining the legion of Rogues.

@Jeruba Your explanation is an interesting one.

I have been so concerned about my theory that I did some exhaustive research on this topic some months ago. Here are some other explanations. You can see that many well-known sockologists weighed in with expert opinions.

Ah, you see? They were all deceived, blinded by the old unexamined assumptions. Those’ll get you every time.

I’m glad I’m finally learning the trut’.

My sock took the usual escape route – Im sure I put 2 in the washing machine, but alas only one was there when the wash was finished.
If it was an unhappy sock why didnt it just say so? Didnt it know I loved it ?

@Sandydog Socks are very insecure – you can never tell them enough!

Do you think it’ll come back now that its out in the open that I loved it?

Was it black, with a very fine pattern of small diamonds woven into the texture? If so, I know where it is.

How did you know that Jeruba ? Tell me where it is please !!
Are socks genderless?

@Jeruba I think it’s you stealing all the socks!

If your socks are anything like mine, it may show up staticly (sp) attached to another article of clothing and then present itself at a most inopportune time.
I one had one sneak out of the bottom of my pant-leg as I was being paid for a babysitting job that I had just completed. It was my sock, I did recognize it as one of my favorites.
What I wonder is this; was it trying to escape into another home via my own self, it’s owner and laundress? If I had not noticed it, (and the woman I was babysitting for noticed it too) would it have gotten innocently picked up and put in with their laundry and then “found” in the dryer as per @Jeruba‘s explanation?

@Jeruba! Collector of socks!

All is not lost then !!
We must remember to have more respect for them and not take them for granted.
Wonder what socks would say if they could only speak ?

@nikipedia Not silly at all. It is part and parcel of my big bounce universe existing even though the acceleration is increasing. Space-time is a moibus.

No, no, I told you, it was a Rogue sneaking into my laundry! I have it in custody. Shall I extradite it?

Yes please Jeruba!!
Why did it want to sneak into your laundry – I thought it was a mans sock to – maybe I was wrong? Little rogue !!

We’re going to have to conduct the rest of this business offline, @Sandydog. Sock extradition is a delicate matter. But my household does include a husband and son, so it probably thought there’d be plenty of camouflage.

OK. Someone tell me why only left foot socks disappear or why only right foot socks appear as rogue socks?

My theory: the 96% of the universe, what we call dark matter, is unseen because it doesn’t want to be seen.

Here’s one of my other brain theories.

I’m considering such phenomena as these:

— Our tendency to react strongly to the sight of famous faces, including how they jump out at us from a photograph of a random group of people
— The swell of feeling that overcomes us when we travel back to someplace we knew well in the past—even if we never thought of it as a place we loved
— Our tendency to become attached to visible mementoes and memorabilia of our personal history
— Our response to logos and brand identities

My hypothesis is that pattern recognition is closely allied to a (or the) pleasure center in the brain. Pattern recognition is essential to survival: which way home? is this safe to eat? which one is my mother? I surmise that a pattern match causes a response of pleasure not for its own sake (we love being back in the old neighborhood; the face of John Kennedy is inherently more special than others) but because the pleasure response teaches us to react to the patterns in a way that enhances our chance of survival.

@Jeruba Your theory has scientific merit and support. Nothing quasi-scientific there except for living examples of homo erectus whom still deny the validity of evolution. You all know who they are!

No, no, no, @Dr_Lawrence. don’t tell me! I don’t want to have my good theory destroyed by facts, even if they support it. What makes it quasi is that I have not done any study of my own in the field; it’s just coming out of my head. I want it to be respected as fiction and not disputed as fact.

Anyway, it does not explain recognizing danger, knowing the enemy, remembering which plants and reptiles and amphibians are lethally poisonous. I don’t think we get any pleasure out of seeing them.

Sorry my dear @Jeruba . You must have known your intuitiveness ran the risk of leading you to correct answers despite scientific validation.

My theory is that hard-left people are smarter than Liberals, and Conservatives are smarter than Liberals, but hard-right wingnuts are dumber than all of them.

@pdworkin I have a theory on that as well, but it runs a bit differently than yours. I believe that if you always turn to the left, or if you always turn to the right, you get nowhere useful because you constantly go around in circles.

Some questions demand liberal (innovative) solutions. Others demand conservative (tried-and-true) solutions. Anyone stuck applying only one or the other philosophy to every problem they encounter is, to the degree they are stuck in that thinking, handicapped. The wing-nuts (which do come in both standard and left-hand thread) are just incredibly handicapped because they go around in circles so tight that they just bore themselves into an ever deeper hole.

Curved spacetime is too extravagant an explanation of universal gravitation—a parsimonious explanation is afforded by the observation that things just suck, no matter where one may be.

I’ve been thinking some more about this q – sometimes I think (since we’re on the topic, somewhat) that all space is folded onto itself in sheaths and that deja vu experiences or weird connections to people are moments in the time-space continuum where a needle pierced through all the sheaths simultaneously…but the needle moves fast up and down and sideways (like on a sewing machine) and the moment lasts seconds only…

another unsupported theory I have is that I have a feeling that because sometimes I give all my money for others even when I don’t have any or my time or clothes or whatever…it comes back to me tenfold when life is really desperate…it won’t be a lot of money but enough to make it through the week…some weird rebate check or my husband’s unemployment gets extended or mom gives us a red lobster card they gave her at work…or whatever…