What are the reasons for an adoption agency refusing to give a child to a couple?

Often, it’s because the couple does not want an older child, and there are no infants to be had.

Money is a very big part of adoption. Were the people you know white, trying to adopt a white baby? They could adopt a baby from another country who really needs a home.

@Violet and @ PandoraBoxx Both very true. In this case, they have the money, there are plenty of children available. The couple were told they were not suitable and I wondered why a couple would be given the double blow of not being able to have children and not being able to adopt.

are they older paretns wishing to adopt young? It seems a little strange.

@Marrakech that is pretty sad. Are you 100% sure there is not a waiting list for adoption? I thought a couple has to wait about 3–4 years to adopt. I honestly don’t know a whole lot about American adoption. Is there no longer a waiting list?
If I am unable to have children of my own, I plan on adoption a child from Africa and/or China. there is a chance I am unable to have children of my own

@Violet what you are suggesting sounds very brave, I hope your tests go well. Good luck with your plans and remember that it takes both sun and rain to makes life’s rainbows!

@sakura thank you : ) that is very sweet of you to say.

It could depend on the adoption agency that they are trying to adopt through.

@Violet I think this couple is quite an exception and I do believe that the psychology of the mother is a possible factor in this case. My second example was considered to be a slight risk because she suffered for so many years with anorexia and was considered a little immature. However, I have just remembered another friend who also had anorexia and she was also given a child. So there must have been something quite serious for my third example to be refused. Do they do psychological screening, I wonder?

They could possibly take into account her past mental health, have they considered fostering?

@Marrakech oh yes, they do psychological evaluations

@sakura I am not sure. But I presume that, if they are refused adoption, they would not be allowed to foster either.

I would assume that the reason for why people are turned down for adoption is rather complex, and remains confidential for that reason. Why do you feel you need to know why she was turned down? If she is your friend, the fact that she was, and must be devastated by it, should be enough.

no I think fostering and adoption are classed and viewed seperately. Fostering is really worth while there are loads of children out there who aren’t wanted because they are too old or come with siblings etc… Children in this situation are often forgetton and they are often the ones who need help the most. It is worth asking, also fostering can help towards adoption as it shows a commitment to a child/children.

@ PandoraBoxx Did I say friend? Actually, I would call her a trouble-maker, and, if I am honest, it is probably (more than likely, oh heck! absolutely) the reason for asking the question. Then I am better prepared the next time she tries to cause trouble. There! I said it!
@sakura I think the fact that foster children need help the most, is probably a good reason why she would not be given a foster child. And 10 years have passsed since she tried to adopt so I think her age and lack of experience with children may well be a factor against her fostering.

it sounds to me like, it’s not for her then, maybe she could train as a childcare worker or devote some time to voluteering in a childcare setting, that way she gets to give some of her love and time to children without the heartache of going through adoption/fostering proceedures.

@sakura I think that is a good suggestion. She is actually part of the gossip scene that I asked about on another thread, so being involved in something constructive may well do her good.

@Marrakech, then perhaps you just answered your own question about gossiping. Why do you feel the need to be mean back to someone? It becomes a vicious cycle, unless someone recognizes that the behavior is that of spiteful, catty women. People who are hateful to others are not happy people.

And maybe that is the reason she was turned down. She is an unhappy person and is depressed.

@PandoraBoxx. Who’s being mean to who here? I am trying to find out the motivation. This woman is always where the trouble is. But what causes it? Is it because she cannot adopt that she behaves like this, or, is it because she is like this that she cannot adopt? All I know is that she is rather political and always where the gossip is.

You are not trying to find motivation. You are trying to speculate on why a couple was turned down for an adoption, so that you can use it against her in the event that she says something mean. You said so. That’s what’s known as a “sucker punch.” Hitting below the belt. An unfair fight tactic.

People generally have difficult personalities because of depression. You said she had an eating disorder. Happy people do not have eating disorders. If she’s such a difficult, disagreeable person, then avoid her.

I am not being mean. I am holding you accountable for wanting to create gossip about a difficult person’s unfortunate event. Being turned down for adoption is devastating. Not only do you have the sorrow of not being able to have your own children, but you have been judged unable to care for a child who is in need of parents. There is a great deal of grief and sadness in that. That alone makes whatever the reason is private.

@PandoraBoxx No, I did not say she had an eating disorder and I resent your implications. I never said I socialize with her either. And holding me accountable for wanting to create gossip is presumptive, arrogant, and quite frankly ignorant. .‘Being turned down for adoption is devastating’ – I never said it wasn’t. ‘That alone makes whatever the reason is private.’ – Not if they are causing harm to others, it doesn’t! ‘I am not being mean’ – I think you are being precisely that!

@PandoraBoxx Right on the money, I think. Brava.

@Violet what do you mean those other non-white babies really need a home vs. the white babies? how many ways are there to need a home?

My husband and I are looking into adopting domestically. Public and private adoptions differ. Some reasons for refusal are previous divorces, length of marriage, age of parents, failure of the evaluation by a social worker (they come to check out your home and such). There could be many other reasons.