How should I handle the feelings I have for my ex S/O when entering a new relationship?

Because when you spend a long time with that person you form a very special bond which sometimes, can never be broken completely. You sound like you went through a lot with your ex and although it sounds like they hurt you a lot, the love that you two shared still exists in you. If you fall in love again that will help you move past your previous relationship and given enough time, you will gain the solace and healing that you are looking for.

Since you are parents together, you will have to maintain a working relationship with him.

Just the same, you need to set aside your guilt, it serves no purpose now that the relationship with him as mates is over.

Move on with confidence that you have everything you need to love again without guilt or regret.

You should lose all feelings for your ex before starting a new relationship, otherwise it won’t be fair on your new partner.

@Dibley is right. This is what is known as “baggage” and if you carry it with you, it’ll pop open and complicate your next relationship. Try to sort through it. look at each item and decide if you still want to wear it or not. Chances are, when you look at each thing you’ll decide it’s no longer what you want and you can throw them all away. But you can’t toss the whole bag, you have to look at each of the smaller pieces.
How was that for an analogy?
Valid, I think.

@Dibley It sounds so easy to loose feelings but of course, such things are always complex when it comes to the human psyche.

@Tenpinmaster If you still have feelings when start a new relationship?

I think you just have to go out and do it in this case.

You can analyze your feeling of guilt. Make a list of things your ex did: including leaving you for another woman after fathering a child with you every time you start to feel guilty.

It is possible to forgive an infidelity. You want to be with him. Get into counseling with him and find out what caused the distance between you and work on narrowing the gap. You want to be with him. You want a family for your child. It’s worth the effort.

It’s hard to say what makes you feel guilty, but you do need to move on and you need to start the healing process. This is often more deeply rooted than many people would imagine, which is why to them completely losing all affection for your ex before starting a new relationship doesn’t sound like a far flung idea.

You have a very strong bond with that person and you’re going to carry that with you for a long time, even when you fall in love with someone else. It’s something you have to work on. Once you care for someone it’s difficult or impossible to stop caring. You just have to be vigilant enough to recognize that you’re happier where you are now than you were before when temptation rears its ugly head.

I’ve been in a relationship that would be, by almost any standard, considered “unbreakable”, and it was challenged by my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend, who treated her like dirt and came flying out of the woodwork once he realized what he lost. She realized she enjoys her life with me more and wants what we have now, but she still has that soft spot for him, and it can make things complicated. It can make you consider things you wouldn’t rationally allow.

It’s hard to exterminate these feelings. You have to go out there and try to move on as best you can. If someone doesn’t think you’re worth it because of your past then in my opinion they’re not worth your time.

@Marina is right. Make a list of reasons why it’s better not to be with him. This list will help you realize what you need and deserve in a relationship. Quite honestly, you deserve the world. It’s really hard to break a bond that you have had with someone for so long, but there is someone out there that will not replace you with someone else.

i make sure im completly over someone before getting into a relationship with someone else. i just control myself ( if your wondering ). say no to your urges. life is too short to be broken hearted all the time. its better to have loved then never loved at all.

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. To high light a few facts, “I also tried to start a new relationship once, but it eventually came to an end because i still felt guilty for being with someone else besides him, even though i did not really want to be with him after all that has happened.” Why? You were not married to him even though you conducted the relationship like one. But that is the risk you took not having a marriage. It may have given him more pause before doing what he did or maybe not, but you did not have one. However, you started a family like one, and that always locks you into the other person virtually for life. You hate the situation but it seems you still have feelings for him, but know not how to get back to where you were, ir even if he even wants to. But since you did not lock it down just being factual you have little choice to continue on with him of for him to have any real involvement with you aside from the child. What you have now is but to remember why you are not apart and won’t be and look at it as a broken vase thast has to be replaced because you can’t glue it back and move on.