When someone is in college, do you think it's better to live in a dorm or just stay at home?

If money is not an issue.

I would always go for the dorm. Just to be closer to the good times and the parties.

GO TO THE DORM!!! Don’t think twice about it. GO!

If the kid is a PIA let him dorm it.

Living in the dorm was my favorite parts of college. The late night talks sitting in the lounge chatting with people you normally might not have a conversation with was very cool indeed. Met some cool and interesting people in my dorm…otherwise not a major impactful life experience. You need to have an iron stomach if you are going to eat the food there.

Living in the dorms allows for the full college experience.

I wouldn’t say you “missed something in life” because of it. There are plenty of people who never lived in dorms and it really doesn’t matter. I’m one of them. I suppose it could be fun sometimes, but it could also be a real pain, particularly if your room mate doesn’t share your sleep schedule or study habits. It can provide a good opportunity to get used to being on your own before being entirely on your own, but not everyone needs that.

My dad tells the story of his orientation day at college. He had just gotten back from a tour in Vietnam and the college official he was talking to wanted to have him fill out the dorm paperwork. My dad said, no, I’ve got my own place. The official told him it was college policy for all freshmen to live in the dorm to have the communal living experience. My dad said look, I just got out of the army, fresh back from Vietnam. I’ve done communal living. He did not have to live in the dorm.

I couldn’t stand the thought of having a roommate. I lived at home as an undergrad and had an off-campus apartment as a grad student. My first experience with living in the same room with others was in the Army, and then only for about six months, until I was commissioned.

@Snarp How would you know what you missed if you have never done it.

Not just a dorm. A co-ed dorm. Ah, the memories!

@JLeslie I’m sure I missed some experiences, but I missed a lot of other experiences as well. The phrase “missed out on something in life” suggests a regret, a missed opportunity that made one’s life less than it could have been. I vehemently deny that my life is less because I never lived in a dorm.

You definitely missed something. A huge part of college is experiencing dorm life, living with people, learning with people. It better prepares you for independence and the dreaded real world after graduation. And I think most peopled do need that. At least I do (I’m also a junior). I’m an only child and I needed to learn how to live with other people my own age.

It’s great. Even with the very small irritating things like conflicting sleep schedules or whatever. That stuff is all great. I’d never trade it. What memories will you have after graduating? Going to class? That’s no fun. Even if you manage to party a lot while living at home, you’re probably not going to remember much of that partying. Yeah, I think my best memories are of living in dorms.

You totally reminded me of why I loved college, before I let classes take over. Thanks. I wish you could have done dorms, though.

An important aspect of college life is learning to socialize in a larger circle than during highschool days. And I don’t mean just partying. I mean interacting in all kinds of ways with all kinds of people, because that’s what life after college will be about. Also important to start making big and little decisions without parental oversight. Some of these decisions will be good, some not so good, but learning to make them is part of being a young adult. So to answer the question, yes, I think living on campus is better than at home if you and your family can afford it.

@absalom I graduated a long time ago, and I have a lot of great memories. Most of them have nothing to do with college at all. I’ve been to parties that would make any college party ever look lame by comparison. I have very few concrete memories of parties, and neither will you. If parties are the most important memory to you, then I hope you change your tune or you will have a very sad future.

@Austinlad You know what else is a great way to learn to socialize in the bigger world? Getting a job.

Living in the dorms, I think, is an integral part of the college experience. You have to do your own laundry, learn how to deal with a roommate (or two), and really get the feeling of living on your own. I lived in the dorms my freshman year and although it wasn’t a great experience (I ended up leaving that school) I don’t regret it. Although I ended up not having a great relationship with my roommate, I learned how to coexist with another person and how to do things on my own. Now I live in an apartment with my mother and my boyfriend but I feel much more confident about living on my own. Since money is not an issue I would highly suggest giving the dorms a try. Just make sure to get into a dorm building that suits your lifestyle – if your school has things like “Wellness Dorms” that don’t allow alcohol or “quiet dorms” that are good for studying. You don’t want to end up in a dorm full of people that you’ll hate.

Good luck making your decision!

@Snarp

If your memories have nothing to do with college then I’m sorry.

But I think you misread my post or something. I was only using parties as an example of something else the querent might remember, even if s/he lives at home, since living at home doesn’t prevent one from experiencing that aspect of college life.

FWIW I don’t really go to parties for any more than the obligatory ten minutes or so anyway.

@absalom Your post got me a little hot under that collar because I read it as if it was aimed at me. I realize now that it was not, so sorry about that.

But trust me, in a lifetime, there are a lot of experiences that trump anything college has to offer.

I strongly believe that a vital part of what a young person learns as an undergrad comes from living on campus. The lessons learned, the challenges met, the relationships, either enjoyed or tolerated, all provide opportunities to grow emotionally and intellectually. That being said, I am not sure I would suggest moving to a dorm as a junior if it means being thrown in with freshmen. If there is a dorm for upperclass students or one that is geared to a specific interest or major, then I recommend you look into it. If not, consider a just-off-campus apartment. Getting on your own sooner than later will serve you well.

I suppose my input is only useful if you think it’s important to have the viewpoint of someone who didn’t live in a dorm in addition to those who did. Otherwise ignore everything I’ve said here.

My vote is for the dorm. Just be sure to bring flip flops for the showers!

Thanks guys for all the input. So let me ask something else. I’m almost 22 years old and I’m way too mature for my own good. Do you think it might be too late for me. Am I past that stage maybe?

@Snarp I would not use the word “less.” My nephew is a senior in college, and I am sad that he seemingly is not going away to school next year (unless something has changed that I am not aware of, which is possible) so this topic is on the top of my head right now. I transferred from a local community college as a sophomore, my dad had to practically drag me to visit college campuses. I am so grateful. I’m sure the dorms aren’t for everyone, but if the OP has the opportunity to try it out, I think don’t miss the opportunity, you are only 20 and in college once. They can always move out if it isn’t what they expected.

@Justnice Honestly, when I was in college it was kind of rare for someone past their sophomore year to live in a dorm room. Juniors and some seniors would usually opt for a suite in the dorm. The suites were mainly two rooms connected by a shared bathroom, with two people per room. They had a bit more space than the regular dorm rooms, but were still in the dorm buildings. I had a suite with my best friend my junior year. Every suite on that floor, except one, was taken by other really good friends of ours. It wasn’t like we partied constantly, but we had so much fun just hanging out.

Some juniors and a lot of seniors would live in campus-owned apartments. You were still considered to be living “on campus,” even if the apartment was a couple of blocks away. Our apartment had three roomies. Two in one bedroom, one in another, with one bathroom, a living room area, and a kitchen. Since all of the other apartments in the building were also taken by students, it wasn’t much different from a dorm. We still had a Resident Assistant who was there, in theory, to enforce the rules about pets, smoking, drinking (dry campus), and visitors. Our RA was one of our closest friends, so we got away with a lot.

Whatever option your school has, you can give it a try. Like @JLeslie said, you can move out if you don’t like it.

I had sooooo much fun in the dorms. Looking back, I cant think of any bad memories in the dorm.

I don’t have time to read all the posts, just want to put in my 2 cents in favor of trying dorm life. You’ll learn a lot from the expereince and should have a lot of fun. It’s a great part of college life.

@Justnice Do you go to a large school? My school had 70% of the students living on campus. There were definitely dorms that were dominated by freshman, certain dorms where most of the football players lived, other dorms where the Greeks lived, etc. I actually lived in the “freshman dorms” both my Sophomore and Junior year (I had transferred as a Sophomore) but I was the same age as everyone, I was finished with high school at the age of 16. My point is you might get some advice about which dorm might suit you best.

I know you’ve already received enough answers, but I just wanted to say I agree entirely with @absalom. It definitely is a good experience and prepares you for the real world. And that was evidenced by the fact that I felt some strong homesickness the first couple weeks. I’m not saying that everyone needs to feel that, but to me, that showed that I really was not used to living at home and since I don’t plan on spending the rest of my life at home, I had to get used to not being at home eventually. I am a freshman living in the dorms (I’m in my dorm room right now) and it has been an awesome experience.

I do have to say, however, that most people who live in the dorms (at least here and at many of the schools my friends go to) are freshmen and sophomores.

dorm! i didn’t get into on campus housing my freshman year and had to live in an off campus apartment…. i feel like i missed out on soo much! i transferred after my first year and lived at home through the rest of college. senior year, i dated a guy who lived on campus and finally felt like i got a real college experience. i highly recommend living on campus your last year!

Living in a dorm is the best thing for any kid in college. It gets them in touch with a ton of other people, makes being in school easier because they’re in a place with a lot of other people facing the same thing, and gets them to become somewhat independent, but not completely so. There are still people to rely on in dorms, the staff, who are there for guidance and support while still allowing the people there to grow up and act like adults. When I have kids and it comes time for college, they’re spending at least one year in a dorm so that they can gain all the benefits (and experience all the crap) that comes from living in that situation.

For sure, the better thing for the vast majority of people is to live in a dorm.

Hmm, I’m one of the few dissenters here…. thus, I feel a need to pipe up. Having lived in a dorm two years as an undergrad, I’d have to say that the experience was more of a drawback in the whole college-experience thing for me. While residing there, I constantly had to watch my loudness levels (my roommate and I were reminded of this by the ever-so-loving whacks on the wall from our dear neighbors with ultra-sensitive hearing (unless, of course, it was their own conversations/music)), I never really got the opportunity to eat healthy meals (as we had a community kitchen… with no stove), I was jolted awake by numerous fire alarms (moreso due to resident idiots than fire drills), and never actually benefited from those community activties that the dorm held (I was too busy volunteering/going to class/enjoying friends who didn’t live in my building).

and now that i’ve completed the world’s largest run-on sentence… I now rent a house with the same roommate I had while living in the dorms. The difference is huge… and welcome. Sure, the parking’s a b*tch, but the change in atmostphere is well worth it.

And then, of course, money is an issue for me: The dorms here are extraordinarily overpriced and come with a similarly overpriced meal plan. I’m renting this house for a year for the price of 8 months in the dorm.

@StephK But the fire alarms and learning to live with other people with weird noise requirements not only are part of the experience (which I had as well), it helps prepare you for life and all the weirdness that can happen out in the world.

Two years in dorms, 5 in apartments while doing school.

FWIW etc., I lived my first two years in the dorms and I’m now living in an apartment/suite-style setup with the good friends I made those first two years. And while I now get my own room and it’s much bigger, I actually really miss the hectic dorm days. I actually miss the broken stoves and the precarious elevators. I miss hall-wide Brawl tournaments and Halo tournaments. I miss hiding stuff from the RA, who in the end probably didn’t care what I was doing anyway. I miss getting yelled at to be quiet, and I even miss yelling at other people (to be quiet).

Silly experiences like that are what unite you with the others in your dorm and I think it’s really cool.

@absalom My school had a dry campus. Disposing of empties was always difficult, so one year my roommate and I threw all the empty cans and bottles into a big black garbage bag. Before we could go home at the end of the year, the RA had to inspect our room. We hadn’t been able to sneak that big bag down to the garbage room, so we hid it in a big closet. Luckily the RA was in too much of a hurry to do more than glance around the room. We then had to drag this huge, full, clanking garbage bag through the lobby where someone was getting married! Half the fun of college was getting away with stuff like that.

Students in college should not live with their parents. They need to grow up.

@StephK Where the heck did you go to school? Was it a small college?

@Justnice listen, @mattbrowne makes a good point, even if you don’t go to the dorm, go and live with some friends near campus. Get out of your parents house. Even if you go back for a short time after school while looking for a job. College is an opportunity that never presents itself again. There is another question on fluther now you should see http://www.fluther.com/disc/70390/why-isnt-the-rest-of-my-life-like-college/

@JLeslie You are such a smart person!

@janbb Thank you. I feel the same about you. Very nice of you to say.

@JLeslie: On the contrary. It’s a large college (population >26000). I’m curious: what makes you think otherwise?

@avvooooooo : I respectfully disagree. I would think living in “the real world” (with quotations as to reference the still-going-to-school part) beats living in a dorm when preparing you for the weirdness that happens in the real world. Though I will modify my original statement a little bit: They detract from the enjoyable part of the college experience.

@StephK because of how you desrcibed the food situation. We had cafeterias with lots of choice. Some dorms were more geared towards healthier food, more vegetarian. My dorm was part of a huge complex, we had the largest non-military cafeteria in teh country at the time, not sure if that is still true. We had a sandwich bar, some hot entrees, salad, desserts. The food choices were not all bad. Not spa healthy cuisine all of the time, but not bad.

@StephK Living in “the real world” in apartments with limited interaction with other people does not really teach you how to get along with a group of diverse people as much as being in a place where you have to learn to live with a large group not of your choosing.

@JLeslie : We had cafeterias, but they were a long walk away, save for one—and that one wasnt particularly healthy. I prefer cooking my own food anyway. :)

@avvooooooo : I live in a house on a residential street. Additionally, through volunteering with community organizations and through my job I get a healthy dose of diverse people and perspectives. Please don’t make assumptions. My dorm was considerably less diverse than half my classes, as the majority of residents were either A_White, middle-class females; B_Non-white, scholarship females, like me. (We were the “culturally diverse” hallway.)

@StephK In general, at many colleges, people will get a more diverse experience living in dorms than in apartments. This isn’t completely about you and your experience, but about why people would want to live in dorms in general. The learning experiences and the people you meet (whether you like/get along with them or not) are unparalleled, IMO.

Dorm. Late night chats—you don’t want to miss those.

@avvooooooo : Again, I respectfully disagree. I still maintain that I think dorm living detracts from the college experience because of many of negative situations experienced there are unnessecary. But thanks for the different perspective.

One would need to be mature to choose the people they hang out with at their dorm. Also, time management and discipline. When maturity strikes, any distractions should not be a problem. :)

@StephK If nothing else, dorms tend to be more economically diverse than any neighborhood or apartment building where people of a similar status group together. While I see your points, I vehemently disagree that living in a dorm detracts from the college experience and maintain that without the dorm experience that people are missing out on a great many things. Even the annoyances are valuable because the lack of them makes one appreciate life outside dorms more and the experience of dealing with annoyances teaches people how to deal with things that they probably have never experienced before. No matter how negative the experience, things are learned from it that benefit a person later in life. Uncomfortable things are necessary to grow, people who avoid “unnecessary” difficulties like living in a dorm are limiting their potential for growing up. Can you really tell me that you learned nothing from living in a dorm that helps you deal with people better? That helps you deal with random crap that happens in life? I don’t think anyone can honestly say that they learned nothing from the experience or that they learned as much living in an apartment, or especially with their parents, as they did living in a dorm.

@avvooooooo : I did learn things in the dorm that dealt with dealing with people, but I can honestly say that the things I learned would’ve been just as easily learned in a different environment. It’s not the setting that teachs a lesson, but the results of the actions of those involved. The patience I learned from having to deal with our hallmates pounding on our wall could have easily been learned from having to deal with an annoying classmate. Why would I want to experience that level of annoyance twice?

I say we agree to disagree and leave it at that. I’m beat from a 12 hour day of those classes, work, and volunteering hours that I mentioned earlier and I think we’ve already hashed out our perspectives enough. Happy fluthering.