In what ways do we answer questions or respond without actually speaking?
I emailed a friend and ask her a specific question. It was a yes or no question, I know she read the email. She responded to another question I asked. But by not answering the first question I got my answer. Do people realize they do this?
What other ways do people answer questions without actually answering them?
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18 Answers
Sometimes,just a look says it all ;)
We nod or shake our heads.
Communication is anywhere from 60 – 90% non verbal. We convey things to each other by the way we dress, what we drive, how we wear our hair, our posture and body language and facial expressions. Even the pause before we speak, pitch of voice, emphasis on certain syllables…This is why the medium of text and boards can lead to so many misunderstandings. The lack of face to face interaction leaves out more than can be made up for with words alone.
For example, take a look at Boondock Saints. The scene in the living room where the Russian guys have all been killed. One of the cops uses the wrong word. Willem Dafoe’s character thinks the guy is an idiot. He says one word. “Symbolism” . Yet how much contempt does he incorporate into that one word by drawing out the S, and his facial expression.
Master of communication, I’d say.
“Whatever he was asked about Buddhism, Master Gutei simply stuck up one finger.”
“A senior monk Jo asked Rinzai, ‘What is the essence of Buddhism?’
Rinzai came down from his seat, grabbed him by the lapels, slapped him and
thrust him away.”
Silence is the most powerful message you can send.
@Cruiser, I’m not positive about that. And silence can be interpreted in many ways, depending on the circumstances. If I just broke something of yours and you just look at me, don’t look at me, whatever and give me silence, I know you’re probably REALLY angry with me. If we’re sitting there on a bus and you give me silence, you could be; thinking about something, worried about an argument you had with your wife, appalled that I seem to have a booger hanging from my nose, trying to remember the name of a movie…
Well, I;‘m not trying to start an argument with someone whose posts I’ve come to laughingly agree with, so I’ll just be silent now…
@Cruiser I totally agree. Leonard Peltier wrote from prison that “silence screams.”
eyebrows and eyes in general
@Trillian I see your point…but I would further posit that in that situation we both would know what transpired….It would be obvious what had happened…you would be freaked you broke whatever of mine expecting some sort of confrontation perhaps….it would be obvious to me that you broke my whatever….and me being silent would do two things…it would make you freak even more wondering why I am not saying or doing anything…sort of a silent “thank you very little” for destroying my whatever I know have to replace or forever say goodbye to and will also serve as a therapeutic payback from me to you. Much much more powerful than getting upset or letting you off the hook with an “accidents happen.” That is what is know as the “silent treatment”! I know a woman friend of mine that is expert at this. ;)
@Cruiser yeah, I know. But I’d be trying to find a way to replace it or make it up to you. And I’d hope that you’d forgive me at some point.
Silence can also be passive aggressive. When I was a child on a trip with my family, my Dad told me to shut up. Some time later, US 23 N branched off of 475. I saw the sign, then I saw the exit, then I saw about an hours worth of 475 that we had never seen before. My Dad was really pissed at me and had the nerve to ask me why I hadn’t spoken up.
You’re kidding, right?
I agree that silence communicates.
@lynneblundell You’re right, I notice your eyes every time I see your Avatar.
oh god I hate to think what they say…
on a downer today…forgive me x
@lynneblundell….Uh….I was making a nice comment about your eyes. I think the look on your face is charming, fun and mischevious. I hope you didn’t take that badly. I think I better stay off for the rest of the day. I don’t seem to be connecting the right way today.
What kind of question is that? (answer a question with another question).
I can usually send a message back only using my eyes.
You know that expression, “If looks could kill?” – THATS ME :). I try not to, but it’s a dead giveaway I’m not happy with what was said.
@Trillian I didn’t take it badly I was just being a bit paranoid… sorry I hope you didn’t stay away because of me x thank you for the compliment xx
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