In your experience, how does the intellectual ability / capacity of a partner affect a relationship with you?

Challenge for me, please. The more challenging the better—I mean, intellectual challenge, not emotional or physical. That can get old real fast.

@wundayatta… that it can, many thanks.

You ought to get with bean! I like men to be clever, I don’t men that are thicker than me. Men are supposed to be the clever ones. I like it when I don’t know the answer to something and I can just ask him and he tells me. Stupid men really are a turn off to me.

Must have similar intelligence and interests that compliment, if not match my own.

@Dibley… ah, a walking encyclopaedia eh?! Just make sure you don’t get tricked by a know-all-know-nothing :) Although somehow I suspect it’d be tricky to pull the wool over your eyes.

I not only prefer a higher IQ than average, I plan to hold out for it this time. A couple whose IQ’s are uneven has a big strike against it from the start. Maybe men can tolerate it better because… ok I won’t go there and have you all chastise me for that particular stereotype.
Anyway, intellectual stimulation has to come first.
I fully expect to be corrected again like I was the last time this came up, with people jumping in and saying that it comes AFTER physical attraction. As if there weren’t more than one way to feel about it. Go ahead and take your swings at me. I want something different this time and I’m willing to hold out for it or go without.
I assume that is why you asked this. To see how people feel DIFFERENTLY about this.

maybe… just maybe you might find yourself feeling more superior… or maybe you don’t connect well because you don’t match each others intellect so you might not understand each other well… but maybe if you feel more open to ideas you might accept some one’s opinion :D but it’s a prefrence… people will want different things…
But i don’t think any one wants to be mentally challanged

@TheJoker Hey, it’s back.

@Trillian… Hah, I don’t think I’d dare take a swing :) & I’d never be so presumptuous as to try & tell you what you think, give em hell!!!

@bean… personally I agree, but dont mention that to Trillian!!

I totally am only attracted to intelligent men.

@Dibley… Woohoo! Second time lucky!

@stranger_in_a_strange_land… thank you… & dont be a stranger ;)

The most success I’ve had has been with women who are at least equal… and with some common sense, inquisitiveness, and a bit of cleverness to boot. They always challenge me and keep me on my toes, I love that. And being able to hold a conversation with endless supplies of topics, that just can’t be beat.

I don’t know anyone who would choose a dumbass ;)

@lucillelucillelucille…. I love your wording :)

@The Joker-I like to get to the point :))

@lucillelucillelucille…. Haha, I bet you do!

maybe… just maybe I didn’t get to fix my spelling mistakes

@bean… Hehehe, don’t worry about it, if I didn’t use a spellchecker I’m sure I’d get crucified here! & for the love of god no one ask me to do maths!!!

@TheJoker lol!!! I hope… no one realizes but then you just know they are going to go check now cuz I wrote it down….

@bean… you can practically guarantee it…. still you can always say thats how they spell it in Oz ;)

Back in college, one of my friends had a girlfriend that he thought wasn’t very smart. He seduced her with weed, just to see if he could do it. Then he was stuck with her for a while, since he, at least, had the grace to try to stick with what he started. But eventually, despite the great sex, he couldn’t handle the lack of good conversation, and so he broke it off.

Later on, oddly enough, they became housemates, and would hook up occasionally. Especially when his girlfriend (who lived with him) was away.

@TheJoker haha! yeasss…... those arn’t spelling mistakes….

You have to have equal intellectual capacity to make the relationship last. No relationship could last without strong well argued fights! Not much fun arguing with a dumbass as Lucille so aptly put it!!

I like to be more or less matched when it comes to IQ. I want someone who can keep up with me, and who I can learn from. Even if you have fairly equal IQ, if you have different interests you still may not be able to long conversations on a particular topic. It does seem that people with higher IQ’s are more inquistitive, more interested in learning, less embarrased to ask questions when they don’t understand something; but, I think some of that is cultural also. Anyway, I prefer those traits, that they want to participate and understand something.

Once I lowered my intelligence standards and dated a Republican. It didn’t end well.

I like to be evenly matched with a partner. Otherwise, we’d tend to try and one-up each other.

@nikipedia Funny!

I want someone of equal or greater intelligence as a life partner. I once dated a guy who was a great kisser and relatively pleasant person. However, he didn’t get most of my references, rarely picked up a book and we struggled to have a conversation. He gave me my definitive answer to this question.

Yes, I have to be able to conversation with my partner; we have to have an intellectual connection. My partner having higher or lower intelligence isn’t nearly as important to me as being able to connect with them – period.

I’ve never dated someone who wasn’t my intellectual equal. At the same time, we don’t need to share intellectual interests. I just want someone I can have good conversations with. I’m not looking for someone to challenge me intellectually, I don’t care about politics, I don’t want to hotly debate current events. That said, I do like to talk about things of a more intellectual nature, I like to impart my knowledge, so I need someone who can keep up with me in that sense. My boyfriend and I seem to be very, very different intellectually speaking, but we have nice conversations because we do share points of interest and respect each other.

@bean & @TheJoker. I don’t know what I said that offended you. I tink that lots of people want to be mentally challenged. I do not feel superior to anyone, I know that my intellect is not due to anykind of effort on my part, it’s just what I was born with, like blonde hair, or large breasts.
I guess mainly what I meant was that conversation is important to me. I left my S/O in August due to his drug habit, but that aside it wasn’t an equal match. He didn’t get Monty Python, and refused to have conversations with me about pretty much anything. So, yeah, I realize that I need more. And there’s really no point in being with someone who can’t supply that, at least for me, because conversation and intellectual stimulation is important to me.
There ARE people in the world who don’t feel that way. I realize this. I don’t feel the need to be adversarial with them, I just won’t be in a relationship with them.
Are my reasons any more spurious than a person who bases their relationship criteria on looks?

LOL

what I wrote had nothing to do with you…. he was making a joke :P i think…

I’m sorry if you felt that way D: I had no idea

@Trillian SORRY XD I didn’t realise it looked like I was responding to your opinion haha

D: i send flowers! :D

I need a smart man by my side, and not just smart but learned.

I have only had a serious love relationship with someone who matches, comes close to matching, or exceeds my intelligence.

It is not a matter of disliking people who are less intelligent or thinking that I am “all that,” rather the boredom factor. I need mental stimulation as much as I need physical stimulation.

Intelligence is highly attractive to me.

I like someone who can keep me on my mental toes, in fact I prefer a girl even more intellectual than me. I have actually broken off a relationship because the girl didn’t reach whatever invisible standard I have. It’s a defining point for an individual and I can make a big deal about it.

Thank God, I though it was just me.

I want a man I can have indepth conversations with and not just about sports!!

I like someone who can discuss philosophy while putting the timers in the C4

It matters a lot. Intelligence coupled with the ability to see/feel people and the world similarly as I do is thrilling to me in my partner. I’m always learning things about him, often surprised and never left thinking he is shallow in any way.

@DrMC Amen, that would be perfection.

@Trillian… I think we might have crossed wires, but Bean got me, i was just bein silly, no offence taken at all. If anything quite the opposite, I admire your strength of character & subtle touches of spikiness… keep it up :) Cool name by the way… is it in reference to Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy by any chance?