What does it mean to grow up?

Picasso said he spent the first half of his life learning to be an adult and the second half learning to be a child. I assume he meant recapturing the sense of wonder and play that we lose, although he was also pretty self-indulgent.

I don’t know. I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up!

I’m kidding, partially. Growing up does involve those good qualities that you mentioned, but it sometimes seems that growing up also involves the loss of a sense of wonder (as @janbb said) and idealism. I don’t think we should accept giving up those latter qualities.

I think one definition is kind of functional. Being grown up is when you are supporting and taking care of yourself.

A second way that people think about it is kind of psychological. It’s when you feel like an adult. When you feel like you can handle whatever life throws at you. When you feel you know where you’re heading and what you’re doing. It’s an interior feeling. It is a time when you feel like you have earned enough respect to be taken as equally important as all the other adults. There is no question about it. You no longer have to fight for it, as teens have to fight to be taken seriously. You are taken seriously just because it is obvious you are an adult.

A third way I think people use the term is in a social sense. It’s about being able to play a responsible role in the community—doing your share, and helping make the important decisions.

People grow up at different paces, obviously, and they achieve each of these definitions of adulthood at different times in their lives (and sometimes never). Perhaps you are right in thinking that people take longer to grow up these days. That could be a function of having more life to live, or it could be a function of parenting and the society that parents have built.

There are so many qualities that, for me, help define an adult—and to one degree or another, I’m still working working on most of them. One is being able to realize that life is like the stock market – ups and downs are cyclical. My mother once told me that nothing is permanent, neither good times or bad, and in my life that’s certainly proven true. Another—and this is a toughie, especially for us baby boomers who’ve had it so much better than previous generations—is learning that the world doesn’t revolve around each of us, that we owe others our time, energy, empathy, mentoring, emotional support, charity, and much else—in short, not just taking from the world but giving back, too. And another quality is not losing the curiosity and wonder and sense of fun that came naturally to us as children, integrating that into the many “serious” aspects of being an adult. I could go on and on.

@wundayatta I’m not sure if it’s a question of wording, or if I just disagree with you on one point. I don’t think it is about feeling like you have earned respect or that you will automatically be taken seriously, it’s just a matter of getting over worrying about being taken seriously. To go a step further, it’s about realizing that you will always have to earn respect, and that’s OK.

@Snarp I think that’s a good point. Thank you.

It suddenly occurs to me that it would be interesting to know people’s ages along with their answers to this question. In whatever level of generality you’re comfortable with.

I’m 112.

@Austinlad Then the real question is, how do you do it?

@Snarp How does he do what?

@janbb Live to be 112. Oh, and keep up with all the latest technology us darn kids are using.

One experience I had that made me feel like I was now an adult was when
Christmas changed for me. There was a point at which I realized it was time for me to make Christmas for other people; not just enjoy it, but take on the responsibility of making it happen. I don’t have kids, so that didn’t happen as a matter of course as it does for a parent.

I agree with your statement but I know it is totally possible to be all those things without losing the ability to have fun. I think that is where this generation and some past got confused. They thought to be one you had to surrender the other. I do all the things you mentioned and yet there are times I get wrapped up in the wonder of something new, I still enjoy chasing my dog and play wrestling with him, I enjoy anime, drawing, watching nature unfold, reading mangas, playing video games, or computer games, bowling. I’ve tried jet skiing and jumping on a trampoline. (FYI, trampoline not meant for older bones. LOL) My point is there is no need to feel that to be grown up one must surrender lifes joys.

Maybe a second stage of growing up is learning to enjoy life again, after you have lost your innocence, regaining a sense of wonder or joy in small things.

i would say growing up = gaining knowledge and awareness about what is truly important for your life in your situation.

For me it was accepting and then doing the best I could by my responsibilities instead of balking about them.

Growing up means that you replace the arrogance of youth with concern for those around you. After the headlines of the last few days, failure to “grow up” occurs in large sections and reaches the highest levels of society.

Arrogant self centered indulgence will be the downfall of this country (U.S.). Other kingdoms have failed for the same reason, they lost adult leadership.