How often do you feel the need to explain yourself?

It depends on how close you are to this person. Is he a family member? Close friend? Just an aquaintence? It depends on how much of an obligation to this person you have. That’s your call.

Never. I think folks should try much harder to understand me.

All. The. Time. I think it has to do with an overdeveloped sense of guilt… I feel guilty for things I have nothing to do with! So, when I have to say no to a request, I immediately go to great lengths to explain why. I haven’t managed to get over that yet, and doubt I ever will.

I used to do it all the time. I am getting somewhat better and able to do it less, but I still tend to over-explain myself.

Everyday of my life.

@janbb . . . can you expound on that?

@augustlan If left alone long enough I’ll start to claim my lack of effort is the reason there is no air in space…

@Blondesjon Wish I could, but I’m kinda tired and I just got in from a party. It’s getting late, maybe we can talk tomorrow – is that o.k. with you? Huh?

When my wife gets mad at me.

It depends upon the relationship, level of familiarity and what I imagine could be coming across regardless of my intention. Sometimes I will clarify, just for the sake of knowing I was clear but sometimes people want to imagine that you meant something that you didn’t. But when I then express myself clearly I try to rest in positive self esteem. And again if someone insists, I try not to give them any justification for their mistrust but allow them to have their own view regardless. Sometimes I just sigh

Needless to say, i have had many people ask to borrow from me. is it the police uniform or do i just look like an ATM? i finally came up with an answer for people that ask to borrow money from me and here it is “you are not the police and you do not arrest people and i am not a bank and i do not loan money”. most people are so shocked to hear my statement, they just turn around and leave. works for me.

Only about ¼ of the time. On Fluther, I never feel the need to explain myself. Why? Let me explain it. I’m rather straightforward and usually quite articulate in formulating my answers here so there isn’t a lot of room for ambiguity about how I’m coming across to other Jellies. Sometimes people ask for clarification in something I’ve said but I don’t know if that would be equal to “explaining” myself about something. I’ll have to mull that over.

I usually make my reasoning part of my answer to ensure that I don’t need to explain myself and people are less likely to feel hurt due to a misunderstanding.

The better someone and I know each other, the less I need to explain, usually!

I can get very technical in my answers here on fluther and I sometimes get PMs asking for clarification, and I am nearly always happy to oblige.

@augustlan
Can you explain that?~

I feel like that quite often. I hate feeling misunderstood. This is the one part of my life that I am really trying to work on, this OCD type of thing I have to make sure people know why I did or said something. Seems in general people don’t want to be bothered having to listen to my explanations, they find it very annoying.

I only explain myself or defend my position to a point. If someone asks or seem like they need more info then I provide it, once, maybe twice. After that it’s on them. I am not going to stress myself out to gain approval for my choices.

All the time. Even though I speak English, no one seems to understand me, except my husband.

I usually start, then get pissy and say something like’..um I don’t have to defend myself’